Jack Monroe #42

[Suprise!]

Sorry, I couldn’t resist

 

[Raker]

@MancBee thanks for checking in xx

Now, every time I read Fraus describing their face shape (triangulation purposes only, m’lud), I imagine you all coming forward in this manner, with your own disco beat theme tune...

I am....a...SHAPE

 

[colouredlines]

What do we hazard a guess JM smells of? I say BO

Her ouchy mouth necklace smells like when you're in primary school music class and you have to open your recorder to clean it.

 

[Oxford_Girl]

Ballet lessons
Range Rover
Multiple property owning grand father isn’t typically associated with WC is it ?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

She wrote herself that a "journalist friend" set her up with the photoshoot / article which was the, uh, snowflake which led to the avalanche.

Thanks @Veronicaaa, I haven’t seen that before! “I hoped that nobody I knew would see it”, lovely to see she still likes to keep herself under the radar...

 

[LavaFlake]

I went on her all old blog agirlcalledjack via the WayBack Machine (on a looong Zoom call this morning ) and she really has had it in for JO since the start. This was from a 2012 blog.

 

[colouredlines]

By the way, just to add: I moved to England as a teenager and was bullied at school for my frizzy hair and foreign accent. Despite this, I need SPF50 in summer. Stop frizzy erasure, Jack!

(I also now have a hyaluronic acid hair treatment every 6 months which leaves it so frizz-free I don't even have to blow-dry it! Highly recommended for my fellow frizzies)

 

[Cookiecookie]

Her povo tweets are doing exactly what she was blasting David Walliams for - taking the piss out of the working class. Absolute div.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Schools will deal with the bullying even if it’s out of school time because it impacts on the child in school.
Approach the school first. You have to protect your son. You can let the bullies get away with this.

My son was bullied in primary school, I went through the correct channels etc. The bullies mother ended up confronting me at the school gate and offered me out for a fight. It didn’t happen because I’m good verbally, especially when anyone threatens my child.
A bit off course there!

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Do you have a crush on Sir Keir?

Guilty.

 

[skronkywildcat]

Thinking of books we read when we were 10 - Half my class had read flowers in the attic in the last year of junior school which had murder, neglect, incest (!) and abuse. I didn’t, but I heard other (quite posh - more than half my class went on to private secondaries) girls chatting about it.

 

[AlphaBeta]

Hmmm I'd like to think it'd take more than tomato sauce with a blob of marmalade in to get me into bed but we all have different standards I suppose...

Depends who’s serving though right? If this cabal/coven (what are we calling ourselves these days?) is anything to go, Ian Hislop or Tom Cruise as Maverick serving up = get into bed.

However, Tom Cruise as jumping man on Oprah’s sofa serving up the same = get in the sea hun

 

[Fraggle]

With the Ian Hislop/ Keir Stramer crushes, I feel like I am in confession.

Since the age of 14, I have had a HUGE crush on Clive Mantle.

For those who don’t know who he is, he played little John in Robin of Sherwood, Mike Barrett in Casualty, a few movies & was Geraldines love interest in Vicar of Dibley. Love how tall he is & his voice.

Met him last year. He is such a lovely man! Such a gentleman, wanted to know about me rather than the questions about him & we chatted for over an hour! We did message on twitter for a while too. He called me darling Lots in the conversation & as we Departed he gave me a HUGE hug & Kiss on the cheek..

 

[Silver Linings]

Another tweet rests in peace with dear old Viv. There are way too many offshoots now though, I am too tired to work out which.

 

[Alansbigplate]

I made the mistake of sniffing some that had sprouted, not a nice wiff

Once had what we thought was a leaking waste water pipe, turned out I’d put a bag of potatoes in a far cupboard and forgot about them

 

[choccydigestive]

That’s shit. Do you know their parents - is there any way you can contact them to discuss?

I know it’s difficult when it’s through messages / the Xbox chat - but the only thing I can suggest is contact their parents (if you know them) or protect your son from his phone (if possible, I know how possessive they can get)

One set of parents (the main kid) we know really quite well and I know just discussing it straight up would be best. The thought of it makes me quake. He's on his phone a lot but he doesn't get to have it at bedtime overnight in his room. The problem is with lockdown the phone is the main method of communication with all friends right now

So sorry to hear about all of this and particularly for your son given that kids at the moment are going through so much with homeschooling/ social distancing in classrooms. I would absolutely 100% take it up with school. These things can escalate really quickly and the pastoral department are equipped with dealing with (pretty much) any situation.
The last thing you want is this encroaching onto the summer holidays and making your son more sad... sending

Thanks, that's a good point. I would rather deal with it sooner rather than later but every time I try to bring it up with my son he starts getting really worked up and says he doesn't want to talk about it.

 

[Harrybosch]

Exactly - my oldest reads a lot, always has done. He read The Hunger Games trilogy when he was 10 - some of my friends were REALLY disapproving of it, but I was like - if he wants to read it, why not? I’m not saying your kids should read it (although I spose it made them think about reading it and their parents didn’t want them to).

My son and I talked about the themes, etc. If anything, him reading books like that led him to read Lord of the Flies and Animal Farm - and we talked about them. Honestly, I’m just always happy to have a shared topic to discuss, as it’s less and less as he gets older!

Babe - same. My first is an avid reader. He loved the Hunger Games, which he read when he was 10 or 11. I have a lot of thoughts around reading, but they mainly boil down to, just read. Learn. Disagree or agree. Laugh at stuff you find funny. Ponder things you hadn't considered. I also remember that I just read over bits I didn't really get when I was reading books that dealt with stuff above my level of comprehension.

The braying for blood really brings home to me how differently I was raised in the 80s and 90s. Lots of discussions around freedom of thought and freedom of speech. About how 'sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt me'. I know that saying is somewhat problematic, BUT there is truth in it, too. I remember when my SB came home from school aged 6 and used several choice swear words. My instinct was to tell him off, because it sounded so awful coming out of his innocent mouth. Thankfully, something stopped me. We then talked about some of the words, I explained why people use them. I then told him these are the types of words he can think, but until he's an adult he shouldn't say them (he's almost teen now and let's just say, I've heard him talk to his mates on x-box. That rule clearly has gone out the window). My point is, we should all be allowed to think freely, to express our opinions, to talk about stuff. Making fun of 'fat people' is (in my opinion) not funny and somewhat distasteful, however, it's hardly hate speech.

 

[Harrybosch]

the photo of the mussels is terrible, it’s not central.

I fucking live your take on things! Always noticing the important stuff. Nothing gets past you.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Also - further to her hating coriander, the Dal she made on DKL has got a huge handful in, and she’s eating it happily

I don't understand this. I hate fresh coriander - it tastes like soap to me. It's down to genetic make up apparently:

---Depending on your smell receptors, you may experience a soap-like flavour, rather than the herby flavour others experience.---

So either she can't eat it or she can. What's the point of lying?!

 

[LavaFlake]

Talking of drinking malt vinegar; I remember hating school so much that Id try and make myself sick so I didnt have to go. I mixed vinegar and andrews salts with some other shite and drank it, in the hopes id be ill. Didnt work p

I once smeared flour over my face in the hope it would make me look pasty-white and ill so I could avoid school. Also didn't work