Jack Monroe #417 Hard to play the victim when you’ve ripped people off.

[Orphan_Black]

SHE LOST!!!!!

 

[Geetbo]

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Her advice is so so shit that people think the parody account is actually her. If this doesn’t prompt some introspection, nothing will.

And the shit parody advice is still better than her shit actual advice.

 

[Ooointitot]

This is interesting

 

[moldwarp]

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Just bringing these tweets here because I remember wondering at them when they were first posted in 2017. They give such an interesting insight into Jack's very unusual state of mind.

It's like, no one begrudges you a salary, Jack. Personally i think everyone who can work should have the benefit of interesting, fulfilling and apprioriately salaried work. But you fundamentally misunderstand the nature of 'salary' and 'work'. 'Work' is when you hire out your time, labour or products to an employer who is willing you pay you for the time, labour or product. Through the constantly shifting dynamic of supply and demand forces, you and the employer will eventually settle on a rate of work and salary that suits you both. The key, though, Jack (and this is the important bit!) is that the labour you are offering has some benefit to the employer. And, equally, the employer must have the liquid funds to pay you. Otherwise the system falls down. Geddit?

Now let's apply those simply prinicples to your situation. You provide labour that is UTTERLY MEANINGLESS AND USELESS to people who DO NOT NEED IT and probably DO NOT HAVE THE FUNDS to pay you. So there's no supply, no demand and no substance.

Given all of this, it's amazing that you've got as far as you have on chutzpah and hot air alone. But now the chutzpah and hot air has run out. You're Wile E Coyote, you've run off the cliff, and your legs are paddling deperately in thin air. So give it up.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Wasn't there also a piece of Viv for every book deal?

It'll be whole bleeping new wardrobe for each book deal at this rate. Beginning to see why she needs so many Cotswolds...

And why she can’t afford shampoo, shower gel, her rent, or a decent tattooist

ETA I just want to know if she stamped back into Burberry seven years later in 2022 wearing her butter soft Joseph leather leggings, All Saints leather jacket and Russell and Bromley leopard block heeled loafers, her arms loaded down with her Kate Spade handbags, Mulberry, her 3 pairs of Viv (RIP) trousers, two Viv dresses and two Viv blouses, her ugly pigskin Stetson on her head with her Boy baseball hat on top of it, the louboutins and Jimmy choos dangling off her wrists

Spoiler: And shouting at the sales assistants

 

[SnowyCal]

Parody Jack is reading tattle

 

[jenny2603]

One of the award sponsors is Heineken, it's possible Jack has had to flee the ceremony in case they send her an email and LITERALLY STEAL HER SOBRIETY.

Honey badger video - hooted when they mentioned that they have loose skin.

Sir Matt of the Forearms video - how splendid to see him having a fabulous time with his friends, unlike our dear Moaning Myrtle.

Jack, roll your sleeves down and wind your neck in. Zoella's calendar may have been overpriced shite but at least the people who paid for it got something for their money, unlike your Patreons. Oh, and I call bullshit on how you insisted that your book was sold at a lower price or you'd 'walk away' from the deal.

Jack Monroe hits out at Zoella for blaming Boots for price of advent calendar

Zoella's advent calendar has sparked major backlash.

metro.co.uk

She must have forgotten this contract shredding stance when they priced Grifty Kitchen at £20. During a cost of living crisis.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Thanks dear heart. I’m thinking it must have been the guardian article because i wouldn’t have made a point of reading her blogs at the time. What a liar!

She has over a decade of claiming that part or all of monies being given/paid directly to her are going to charity, but providing minimal evidence of it actually going anywhere.

It started with her big house sale, then her craft business, then sort of just escalated from there. I’m trying to compile a list of everything with her exact claim, and where available evidence of how much was brought in and how much went out and to where.

As you might imagine, because I’m trying to be FORENSIC, it’s taking a while*, (I’m also BUSY working at a real job somewhere between Jack’s actual work hours and get claimed 100 hour work weeks)

One might almost describe me as doing this

Spoiler

Painstakingly

if one were so inclined. I’ll post here under a spoiler when I’m done. I know other ninnies will definitely have things to add that I completely miss.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Has she changed her Twitter bio re the VBI? She says “creator or the VBI”, rather than “upcoming” or whatever it was before.
I really wish someone would call her out on the blasted thing. It’s obvious that it’s never going to materialise.

I agree. I wish a journalist or interviewer would pin her down to the mechanics of it rather than let her get away with 'it's coming! I promise!'. At the very fucking least ask her how much longer it will take.
It may seem irrelevant to most but the VBI is what prompted daft Nigella to signpost people towards Jack's Patreon - 'it will enable her to carry on this vital work' VOM. Well it didn't did it.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Is Patreon supposed to be seen as a ‘regular salary’ though? Is this what she took from the mortgage meeting?
Fascist bully boy/Bank manager: ‘So Ms Monroe I’m happy to say that you’ve amassed quite a sizeable deposit and once you’ve cleared your tax and credit debts and your CCJ the only obstacle is your lack of a regular income.’ Looks expectantly at Jack.
Jack: (Flashing spite diamonds to prove wealth and flashing tattoos as ID)
‘Yeah I’ve sorted that pal. Completed it ages ago. I suckered Nigella into giving me a huge (small flurry) Patreon boost so I’m on about 5k a month at least probably (forensic) so yeah I’ll have that mortgage please. What do you MEAN it’s not a reliable income? I’m an ECONOMIST. God I can’t even BREATHE in this corporate temple to greed. I’m off to John Lewis with my advance as you clearly want to crush my DREAM.

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

She bought herself a Kate Spade bag for every book deal *and* Burberry overcoats for some deals as well?? How much of an effing advance does she get? It's not like she's James Patterson FFS.

Wasn't there also a piece of Viv for every book deal?

It'll be whole bleeping new wardrobe for each book deal at this rate. Beginning to see why she needs so many Cotswolds...

 

[AnnRKey]

Patron of nine charities?

1. Jack Monroe's PayPal charity
2. Jack Monroe's Patreon charity
3. Jack Monroe's Cotswolds charity
4. Jack Monroe's Smeg charity
5. Jack Monroe's lip filler charity
6. Jack Monroe's Jack Monroe charity
7. Jack Monroe's Big fuck off house charity
8. Jack Monroe's unruly labia needing trimmed charity
9. Jack Monroe's Shan't, Can't, Won't, Done That, Nailed It charity

 

[Geetbo]

At this point I'm starting to wonder if she's medically incapable of honesty.

Too early. Sadface.

I might have to go on mumsnet again to read the threads about her. I always get distracted by threads about them wanting to dropkick their mother in law into the sea though.

 

[SendReceive]

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And she’s off!

Seen that look before somewhere…

 

[KebabGirl]

One of the reasons given for the VBI was the ONS only publish data every 6 months. So Jack wanted something up to date, current, in the moment that reflected what people saw in the shops that week. I laughed at the time, and it still gets a chuckle when I remember it. Absolutely absurd Jack could pull this together over a weekend as first claimed. And no, it proves very little other than prices vary.

The Charlie Bigham thing is not as clear cut as Jack thinks either. When they first started, they were a small business and a lot of the work was manual. As they grew, they've expanded their facilities to get an economy of scale, so the price point stays similar. It's as though they used a proven business model or some other witchcraft.

The sweeping statements Jack makes might be my aneurysm. The other old but good one is keeping costs low at the shelf with no thought to the supermarket workers, supply chain, manufacture, back to the farm. The price we pay reflects all these elements - it isn't just a number Mr Asda gets from rolling dice.

All stuff we covered in Jan / Feb but thought it worth another mention for any newer Fraus.

 

[Mr Krabs]

CONGRATS NEMAT LET'S GOOOOOOO
Bona fide life saver

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Poor guy though. Going through all that in Afghanistan and then having to sit through an awards show with Jack, Little OJ (not a murderer as far as we know) and a bunch of twats who run Pink News.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I'm in the hairdresser reading "Closer" magazine. There's an 8 page Miguel Barclay feature, with thrifty tips and cheap recipes...

Sorry Jackie

 

[jenny2603]

Might have known. Fancy ruining everyone's absolutely fabulous night at this amazing awards ceremony.

I hope fleeing guest wasn't calling him a murderer. There is insufficient evidence at this stage to say whether or not OJ is a murderer and it is irresponsible for anyone to be implying otherwise.

 

[jenny2603]

I'd lose the waistcoat myself but otherwise not bad for our Jack. I will point out that we haven't seen the bottom half or shoes yet. There could be humiliating trousers.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Oh, she's definitely lying, but I am still curious how much she'd get for an advance.

I think she said in an online exchange with Matt Haig that she gets the smallest advance of any smol author ever because she's the biggest victim of all victims ever. Or something like that.