Jack Monroe #387 Her insufferable narcissistic festival of tripe she keeps advertising

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Jelly Bean

Jelly Bean

Thanks to @reCAPTCHA for thread title idea and @MaineCoonMama for suggesting it. No prizes I'm afraid. After all the sausage shennagins you should all take a minute to think about what you've done.
(Title originally said Shite but I winged it and used another word - do you really not understand how freelancing works?)

As mentioned Jack bought a battered sausage and egg and ate it or something equally rivetting. And paid for it so she couldn't then catch a bus. Because it was raining. Or something.
In a bold move she revealed she has a 'very good sense of humour'. Tbf we've all seen the floral boilersuit. And her cooking.
More clarification from her over the Dublin adventure. She booked the ticket 'beforehand'. Before what exactly nobody knows. But that should clear up any misunderstandings 🙄
Another adventure upcoming. Off to meet Jay Rayner in Bristol to discuss 'The State of her Food'. Expect train based anecdotes in 3...2...1
 
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HotesTilaire

HotesTilaire

It was confirmed that ther are some cheap chippies near Jack, but her £1.80 feast probably cost more
You can screenshot Halifax accounts
You can buy a smaller battered sausage in a chippy it’s called a kid’s sausage
She called the new love “Burger Boy”
You do need to squiggle the names, photos and handles including the ones in a reply, if you post a screenie.
LJC sent a tweet which just said “p” and later “poot” she probably meant poor.
Sock hunting is a bit boring unless the sock has done something actually Jack related
You don’t need a twitter account to read tweets on twitter. Or Nitter.
 
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Just Lou

Just Lou

The canal spent far too long talking about sausages and saveloys.
 
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Mendacious Trumpet

Mendacious Trumpet

Shoot, I was just about done typing a pointless post to add to the end of thread shenanigans. Here it is anyway :p
My belated version of LJC's abandoned tweet:

61D65478-19EA-44F1-8781-DA2599B9F6D3.jpeg


"pleased to see you've found love again and you've moved on from the haunted rings. All the best to you both!"

(Note that I toned it way down for Louisa. My petty witch self would have said something like "hope it works out for you this time!")
 
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M

Mugglewump

Please tell me Jay Rayner doesn't believe her utter tit.
Nooo, I love him.
Send anythingos for my disappointment tender ones.
 
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Unrinsed_Spaghetti_Hoop

Unrinsed_Spaghetti_Hoop

Jack also is getting some kind of "police protection" which she is not paying for? We don't know who is paying for it, maybe Burger Boy is accompanying her to Bristol with a steel burger flipper to swat away love rivals and/or haterz.

Essex Police apparently are keeping a watchful eye on her twitter account due to the "abuse" and "threats" she's received.

It's all a load of ol' cack, but welcome to the fantasist that is Jack Monroe.
 
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ChactFecker

ChactFecker

Oh god please tell me the tweet from LJC was meant to be a DM and was going to be.

P... Lease don't get mad, but we are putting the legwork in on a new show exposing online grifters and how social media has the potential to provide full time income for scroungers and scammers. There's been a lot Industry chatter about you of late and the execs are deciding who the first episode is to be based on... Just a little heads up. Hope everything works out with BurgerFlipper. Oh and enjoy spending my ring. Buhbye now.
 
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Unrinsed_Spaghetti_Hoop

Unrinsed_Spaghetti_Hoop

AwfullyMolly also tweeted that she has been hearing from big wigs in the industry and there may well be some other outlets releasing the krakken on Monroe at some point... Which we all eagerly await.
 
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Mrs Peel

Mrs Peel

My recap is extremely short...

C-H-A-O-S

(Good luck Bristol and Dublin) xxx
 
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Just Lou

Just Lou

If Jack is at home she'll have an early start tomorrow (or today...). The train takes four hours to Bristol from Southend, driving takes 3 but the last Sunday of the summer holidays I'd allow an extra 30 minutes at least.

Makes you think...

ETA my money is on a no show tomorrow. I almost wish I had a spare £60 to go but alas, my current account only has £27.75 in it and my business account is empty. 😩 Send cashos.
 
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Valiofthedolls

Valiofthedolls

Also recap: Jack equates some bloke coming round again to err.. ‘take her up the aisle’ (and well done Jack, that’s further than you got with any of your fiancées) with a welfare check.

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This as if someone continually coming to your home to perform welfare checks on you is some sort of badge of honour, cute, quirky, and something to boast about to over 500,000 of your closest pals.

Note: it doesn’t make you sound like a cute little Shrek character Jack, it makes you sound like a pathetic needy attention seeking idiot just further embarrassing themselves in front of hundreds of thousands of people.

303AB9F3-F105-40FA-8F79-FA619D2758B2.gif
 
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Griftymcgriftface

Griftymcgriftface

Watching the program on bbc and Jack reminds me so much of Lance. Just had the scene where he is practising saying ‘I have never tested positive for performance enhancing drugs’ which is so like Jack. He didn’t say he didn’t take the drugs originally, just never tested positive and was tricksy with the language. Just like our Jackie.
 
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Valiofthedolls

Valiofthedolls

Just Lou said:
If Jack is at home she'll have an early start tomorrow (or today...). The train takes four hours to Bristol from Southend, driving takes 3 but the last Sunday of the summer holidays I'd allow an extra 30 minutes at least.

Makes you think...
Click to expand...
I really hope for his sake that Jay Rayner hasn’t offered her a ride up there in his big car or bought her a first class train ticket to sit with him all the way there from London. He might be a Jack fan, but not many people are deserving of that horror, and Jay definitely isn’t one of them.

Nigella, however? She should be forced to do it so she can sit, suffer and have a long hard think about what she’s done re the enabling/ Patreon. On a day where there’s no ⛄too.
 
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