Jack Monroe #362 Never mind the botox

[Falkor]

Congratulations to @StringyMango for the thread title. Your prize is a remaindered Dead People Cant Riot t-shirt.

To absolutely no one's surprise, Jack failed to come up with a recipe for day 2 of her 15-minute one pot meal series, although she did raise hopes earlier in the day when she announced she was going through her old books in her front garden (due to tree surgeons in the back) and was going to get 10 recipes up over the day to start the project off.

With perfect timing for the full moon, Awfully Molly dropped a new thread on Twitter laying out the sequence of events around the Teemill shop and lack of clarity around the subsequent donations to the Trussell Trust and other charities. So far Jack hasn't referred to it.

The Wiki is the pink button up top, please use the words 'thread title' when nominating one and remember no swears or rudery in thread titles allowed!

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Thread title is amazing.
Just to be clear. No one cares if Jack wants to have Botox or fillers or tattoos, but by claiming she has no money for shampoo to encourage people to send money on PayPal and tip jar this is in extremely poor taste.

Also recap- Jack tried to claim she didn’t have details of patreon squigg, we are still waiting to see if they got a refund/the goods

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

I can imagine her agent insisting on a constant facetime after AMs tweet.....

Jack, put your (other) phone down.....Jack, no......Jack, do not tweet anything. JACK, take this phone with you then so I can see what you're doing. Jack you don't need to take your phone out with the dog....JACK JACK.

Readers, Jack will be composing a tweet rebuttal as we tattle.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Someone (I forget who, dear heart I’m sorry) did a canal cook along of Jack’s black macs faster pasta disaster. They made it look half decent as well, million times better than Jack’s photo. Apparently, and you won’t believe this, it was awful.

I can imagine her agent insisting on a constant facetime after AMs tweet.....

Jack, put your (other) phone down.....Jack, no......Jack, do not tweet anything. JACK, take this phone with you then so I can see what you're doing. Jack you don't need to take your phone out with the dog....JACK JACK.

Readers, Jack will be composing a tweet rebutted as we tattle.

Surely a deployment of Sgt Coops stretching on a chair/bed? It’s been ages and Content looks sad and tatty.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Someone (I forget who, dear heart I’m sorry) did a canal cook along of Jack’s black macs faster pasta disaster. They made it look half decent as well, million times better than Jack’s photo. Apparently, and you won’t believe this, it was awful.


Surely a deployment of Sgt Coops stretching on a chair/bed? It’s been ages and Content looks sad and tatty.

Unfortunately they did report that it was watery and terrible!

 

[Mrs Peel]

It also turns out that not everyone is chucking a quid a month at Jack because Patreon Squig is signed up for the £10 get duck all tier.

And Jack has 77 lipsticks...and counting.

 

[Falkor]

Currently on 807 patrons, that's another 2 since I last looked on Tuesday. How the hell are people still falling for it?

 

[Hollaaa]

No recipes, but no dick pic from Tommy Lee today either. Only difference is, no-one made any promises they couldn't keep about wangs.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

No recipes, but no dick pic from Tommy Lee today either. Only difference is, no-one made any promises they couldn't keep about wangs.

No sausage recipes?

 

[skronkywildcat]

I know this is about 20 threads too old but I saw this on Twitter and it made me laugh about Georgia Church Suppers (again).

 

[Emmapism]

Every Patreon subscriber who has complained so far says they are on the higher tiers

 

[HotesTilaire]

Every Patreon subscriber who has complained so far says they are on the higher tiers

Hello I am the Jack pls join my patreon all new style
£1 a month - duck all
£3.50 - fake vibes
£10- 1 used lipstick from my collection
£35 - Spoooooon

 

[jenny2603]

View attachment 1494323I know this is about 20 threads too old but I saw this on Twitter and it made me laugh about Georgia Church Suppers (again).

It is never too late to mention Georgia Church Suppers.

 

[HotesTilaire]

It is never too late to mention Georgia Church Suppers.

It’s always supper time in one of the Georgia’s, probably

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[NellieBoo]

She's awfully quiet .

ETA. No she's not. She's AWAKE and doing goodly works .

 

[Mr Krabs]

Tattle laughs at Jack for not uploading a recipe since 2018.
Jack: I’ll show them! I’ll remake my rinsed hoops!
Tattle laughs some more.
Jack: Ha well I’m going to make a new recipe a day. That’ll show the haters!
Tattle laughs at Jack for literally creating one recipe and then forgetting about the project.
Jack: Fine! Then I’ll upload TEN recipes in one day and feed them to some tree surgeons!
Tattle dies of owl champaging.

 

[NeoCortex]

duck it. Bit of a heart felt one coming up.

Obviously I despise Jack. But only because of how my own life ended up. I had to move twice in two years, lost all my possessions cos I turned to drink instead of saving the money for my storage unit. (And who has one of them?)

And yet I STILL KNOW HOW TO DO A SHOP. For £20. First thing is cheese. So 3 quid. Bread next £1. Butter £1. That's a fiver gone already. Then cheap beans, hoops, noodles, crisps. Used to come in at £12 I hate this.venemous bleep. She has no idea what it is like to be poor. And seemingly neither have i

 

[HotesTilaire]

Am sure Jack’s garage or outbuilding, whatever, had stacks of JackBooks in it. I reckon she bought a job lot, cheap, to sell in her online shop (which broke when the website cough cough got cut off when she didn’t pay cough) she’s just trying to shift them anyway anyhow

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

View attachment 1494349

BUT I CANT AFFORD A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO FOR £1.

I think this comment is about Jack calling herself a POC (person of colour) for being Greek.