Orphan_Black
VIP Member
She's not committed to working. That simple. She wants a free ride in life, and oh my, the squigs are providing.
- Notice
FlowerOfTheEast
VIP Member
BIB - you've just inspired me to create the Vimes Biscuit Index, which will not only track biscuit prices but ensure quality control standards are met at all times. Naturally I will have to do a lot ofI would prefer to call it Biscuit Day as we don't all hoover up the crumbs from the table of Georgia Church Suppers.
However, she has done Cookie Day 2 weeks in a row so as well as being a completed it completed it MATEshe will henceforth be the font of all biscuity data.
Lazarus
VIP Member
When's the first of SB's dream trips away? Did we get an update on where she's chosen? Somewhere out of the way enough that can take some wild campers with a dog, but close enough to public transport and accessible to someone who has fuck all wrong with them uses a walking stick?
Note: all of those requirements were hers. Not a single one was listed as something which might interest SB or meet his needs.
Note: all of those requirements were hers. Not a single one was listed as something which might interest SB or meet his needs.
I think of the legendary romantic lovers - Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Dido and Aeneas - and reflect that none of them adored each other as much as Jack Monroe loves Jack Monroe.I've been browsing her blog. In her sponsored sleep outside post she whines on and on about how awful if was for her because she used to be so afraid of losing her flat. She's never slept rough (obvs). There's also a great poem that some ninnies might not have seen yet, so tuck in! Note her "middle class" voice, clearly before she got too working class for the beeb. Why was even she on the radio?!
Girl On The Radio. Lyrics and Music by Jack Monroe.
Somewhere before the news, That another celebrity has passed away; Somewhere before the sports reports, Was the news item of the day. Somewhere between the sixties pop, And the punk and metal reviv...web.archive.org
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
Ah yes, I really enjoy a mid morning bowel evacuation of epic proportions to set me up for the day ahead.
Into_the_tunnel
VIP Member
jenny2603
VIP Member
My fathers uncle used to borrow dentures from neighbours/friends/family when he wanted to look smart for weddings and the like. Top that with your poor fishing, Jack.Years ago, I got called to a lady who had lost her bottom set of dentures. She was in bed and very distressed, bless her. So I crawled around her bedroom and found a bottom set of teef! Yay! Except they weren't hers. Her bottom set were never found
holliebollie
Chatty Member
Ninnies, I have just heard ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’ IN REAL LIFE, IN POLISH!!!! It took all of my power not to say where I had heard it 
My only release is writing it here. Go well, pals.
My only release is writing it here. Go well, pals.
Clovis
VIP Member
Spanner
Chatty Member
I am another frau who fucked up her GCSEs. I went to grammar school too, and they advised me to drop one so I could concentrate on the rest. Whether it was to do with league tables or not, it was good advice. Even getting Ds in 2 at my v academic school didn’t stop me doing A-Levels and then an undergrad & postgrad degree
I remember having a row about it with my parents when I was 16 and shouting “I am going to move out and get a job and a flat and then you’ll miss me!” Then promptly bursting into tears (Reader; I did not move out!)
A lot of jacks pronouncements are like she’s still stuck in her teenage years. Everything’s always the best ever or the worst ever or “I suppose you want me to DROP DOWN DEAD!” V emotionally immature
I remember having a row about it with my parents when I was 16 and shouting “I am going to move out and get a job and a flat and then you’ll miss me!” Then promptly bursting into tears (Reader; I did not move out!)
A lot of jacks pronouncements are like she’s still stuck in her teenage years. Everything’s always the best ever or the worst ever or “I suppose you want me to DROP DOWN DEAD!” V emotionally immature
Mr Krabs
VIP Member
True. She’s absolutely addicted to attention, good or bad. The journalist who interviewed her seems to be a seasoned pro who has done a lot of international reporting, so probably didn’t give the big emotional response Jack is used to (because journalists are supposed to be neutral). Jack then took this as - she’s not impressed by my story, must escalate.
DinosaurSenior
VIP Member
Apologies for being a.... Scottish dick... but her spelling of whiskey makes it American, like Jack Daniels. So she's not bingeing on sainsbos own brand Scotch Whisky. Nob
colouredlines
VIP Member
She claims the dog is named after Laurie Penny, which is hilarious if I'm wrong and the SB truthers are right:
"What do you want to call her, pal?"
"Gosh, Mamapapa, let's name her after that nice lady on Twitter who defaced a war memorial, then Katie Hopkins mistook you for her, and that led to your landmark libel trial and after that we bought the sofa!"
"What do you want to call her, pal?"
"Gosh, Mamapapa, let's name her after that nice lady on Twitter who defaced a war memorial, then Katie Hopkins mistook you for her, and that led to your landmark libel trial and after that we bought the sofa!"
Maybe Big Dave just liked reading old Beano annuals?
Soapy Dolphin
VIP Member
Dangerous squig, very dangerous! Someone even asked how it went at the dentist's.
MistyWindows
VIP Member
I would describe those gums as inflamed myself.
What is Vlad playing at? Has the heatwave opened a portal to hell?
Orphan_Black
VIP Member
Some of them are burnt enough to break another toof.
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
colouredlines
VIP Member
Jesus, someone please invent a time machine so Jack Monroe can go back in time, scrape a couple of extra, GCSEs and join the Sixth Form debate club. Alternatively just give the phone to Content, because quite frankly, a dog would have better arguments than this.
Tell.A.Tale
Chatty Member
I work an actual 37.5 hours per week, which ends up being more like 45 really. I don’t have a child but I do have pets. Between work and caring for myself by ensuring I cook, exercise and wash daily (my nails are clean) and give myself downtime to read, watch telly and sleep, oh and socialising once or twice a week with friends - between all of that I can barely keep up with these threads.
Now we are meant to believe she works 100 hours a week, attends over 10 hours of AA meetings and cares for her kid?
She just lives a sad, meaningless existence on Twitter. There are physically not enough hours in the day for her to be as productive as she claims and then to tweet constantly. Put your phone down Jack and go have a wash, pay special attention to your nails. A long soak in the bath should do it!
Now we are meant to believe she works 100 hours a week, attends over 10 hours of AA meetings and cares for her kid?
She just lives a sad, meaningless existence on Twitter. There are physically not enough hours in the day for her to be as productive as she claims and then to tweet constantly. Put your phone down Jack and go have a wash, pay special attention to your nails. A long soak in the bath should do it!