Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

[Captainmouse]

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[Jelly Bean]

Ugh I can just imagine Jack turning up late at Glastonbury and doing that nasally hyena giggle 'well you all know it wouldn't be me if there wasn't some chaos'. Barf.
And Billy Bragg is a twat. Bought that large house in Dorset with grounds and immediately set about closing off the public footpath through it that had been there forever. All for the masses until they start to come within 100s of yards of his mansion.

 

[Shimmering]

It's so sad when she deactivates as we miss out on thrilling exchanges like this one.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I don’t buy the ‘Heroine of the Forgotten Meat’ story for a second.
For one thing that’s usually prime Twitter spite time, also I don’t know about anyone else, but at my local supermarkets people fight over the decent reduced section stuff? Especially meat and fish. Usually have to queue up after it’s been stocked and get a death stare from Susan as you browse it
The only thing you’re likely to find just before closing is something bizarre like a kidney and mash ready meal or some dodgy looking pate, maybe an opened packet of liver (prime Jack honk diet I know but I still don’t believe it ).

She's chatting shit. Jack has been banging on about her ASDA yellow sticker hauls for the entire duration of these threads - and all of them were part of her normal shop. There was no end of the night shopping.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

She's very quiet. She must be out getting her nightmeat.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

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“Still had to pay three quid for me vest”. Oh fuck off (sorry Manc Bee).

I find it so jarring when she writes in a way that clearly isn’t how she speaks. I understand that a written voice is different to a spoken voice, but with Jack it’s just too much, Irish one minute, Scottish the next, and most cringe of all the AAVE moments.
What’s she going for this time with “me vest”?

 

[Lazarus]

1% glitter 99% turd.
Jack, could you say this again around tomorrow evening we could use it for a thread title.

It's the *long pause* that makes it great.

🔺️ My mother once stood at a train station next to Heston Blumenthal. She looked at him. He gave her a smug look like, yes, that's right, it's really me, are you impressed? So she asked if he was Harry Hill.

Same energy here.

In the late 60s my mum worked in a shoe shop in Glasgow. She was serving a guy who was really rude. One word borrowed another and he said ‘I AM LULU’S BROTHER’.
my mum, to one of her colleagues: ‘do we have a Lulu working in here?’ Same energy here too.
well done to your mum by the way, I love that!

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

She's very quiet. She must be out getting her nightmeat.

I would like to nominate simply “Nightmeat” for thread title please and thankyou

ah, you are so more eloquent than me and you have verbalised everything I wanted to say

Thank you It makes me laugh that Jack is so thick she couldn’t understand the meaning behind The Way I Loved You never mind mirrorball or seven. I can imagine her sat there with that fucking notebook writing the song lyrics out trying to work out what they mean!
And she can stay the fuck away from the lakes, my second favourite of all time. If she tweets any lyrics to that song I will be in mourning for the next month.

 

[jenny2603]

*whispers* "Jack, my muse, my inspiration, you're my Eleanor Rigby, thankyou"
Before a solitary cheer rolls down his cheek.

Before someone has a word about the Linda McCartney collab and Paul roars "get my late wife's name outta your mouth because this ain't it" at the ickle pixie.

 

[FlashBoof]

Imagine you had the choice (allegedly) of being at Glastonbury in the VIP area, enjoying Billie Eilish with Billy Bragg - and instead you spend the evening lying on Twitter for attention! What a life!

 

[skronkywildcat]

I still think about that poor kitten suffering - being stuffed down her top and used as a prop. How her son might have felt when she went on and on about how the kitten was the only thing bringing her happiness. How she ignored the vets who said it would be kinder to PTS. We could all see how sick and not right she was. It wasn’t just the legs. Oh it breaks my heart.

 

[PsychicCaramel]

Jack, save yourself the hassle of fulfilling yet another professional obligation and have a lie-in tomorrow because Jamie Webster is so far up your niche you're gonna have to bake him a cake.

I have never voted for the Conservatives and never will, I think the current government is a total shower but the edgy ‘fuck the tories’ thing, coming from middle class posers at a ££££ festival is so cringe. Peak Jack energy though. Where is she? lol

 

[MancBee]

Reply to someone saying they hate the nonsense of supplying an email address for a receipt:
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Trying desperately to catch up, so probably already been said, but here goes.

Jack has every receipt from 10 years of shopping. Now she loses them as soon as she lays hands on them.

I know, then and now.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

The bullshit here:

 

[MistyWindows]

This is such a waste of everyone’s time what is she going to make with all that crap?! It would just be terrible snacks if she didn’t already have enough food to fully stock a corner shop.

I’m off to Tesco to buy 68 packets of Hearty Food Co. chicken flavour instant noodles for £19.72 and that’s me fed for 22 and a half days.
Then I can have the sun shining out my arse and get award ‘Best Human of all Time’ by Billy Fucking Bragg.

 

[RevEd]

She's very quiet. She must be out getting her nightmeat.

 

[margaretta]

These squigs are unhinged

She's talking shite (as usual).
Obviously some people really have to live off £20/week (or less), I've had to do it myself, and it's really tough. Of course you do your best but inevitably you end up eating mostly basic stuff like beans on toast and jacket potatoes. I lost weight as well, because it's really difficult to reach the required calories, assuming you want to eat proper reasonably nutritious food and not overprocessed beige food.

I had to do it too, albeit a long time ago. Shopping on a fixed budget its tough.

But what makes it tougher is when someone who has £2000 coming in a month from Patreon subscribers goes and buys up all the decent yellow sticker food to add to their burgeoning freezer. Leave the yellow stickers for others who need them.

 

[Pantomimehorse]

Lol at her comment she doesn't have a meal plan yet. She wants congratulations for doing a shop for less than £20 with no plan or thought to how practical that shop will be for the purpose of actually making meals ? I mean she may as well just buy £20 worth of wagon wheels ! Great going hope that's a tip in the new book

 

[Emmapism]

Amazing work. In under £20. Nobody else could do it. What a wonder. What a maverick. CCJ who? I've never met her.