Jack Monroe #327 Three and a half stars on Wikifeet

[Falkor]

Thread title courtesy of @Mr Krabs

In the last thread it was confirmed that OH had indeed LEFT and Jack also announced that today would see the fulfilment of a 10-year dream. Various suggestions were made by the canal as to what this could be, but no one guessed the correct answer, which turned out to be the arrival of a Labradoodle puppy.

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Previous thread here: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...antasy-and-too-much-time-on-your-hands.30983/

Given the puppy bombshell, people might want to petition the mods for a different title? But that one had the most likes.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Posting again from the end of the last thread.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

After watching that video, I finally know what she was prattling on about when she said "a voice of clipped velvet with a laugh never far behind".

Also...

*manic laughter*
*sniff*
*more manic laughter*
"when you've thrown the ball can you pick up that plastic in the border*
*gale of laughter*

 

[I’MBUSY!]

Posting again from the end of the last thread.

That poor cat.

Jack doesn’t seem to give a tit

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

That poor cat.

Jack doesn’t seem to give a tit

Starting to think she's a sociopath

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I wish I had watched that with the sound off. Didn’t really want to hear the witche’s cackle

 

[Clovis]

Marking my territory for a new thread.

 

[veronica71]

She sounds like she’s taking the piss out of cat and the dog in that video and sounds so very childish.

Now even if she wasn’t a twit and we weren’t in a major cost of living crisis and she was a good owner (I know but just suspend disbelief for a second) how on earth is getting a dog with an expensive initial outlay and monthly costs helping her in anyway shape or form towards her goal of getting her own house which she’s been banging on about for years.

 

[Boyo]

After watching that video, I finally know what she was prattling on about when she said "a voice of clipped velvet with a laugh never far behind".

Also...

*manic laughter*
*sniff*
*more manic laughter*
"when you've thrown the ball can you pick up that plastic in the border*
*gale of laughter*

‘The border’? The. Border. Oh, that line of weeds. I see. Sorry.

 

[Yel]

Was the meadow of wildflowers ever actually seen?

 

[LavaFlake]

A lot to unpack in that video...

- Garden looks like a shithole that has been SEVERELY neglected.
- Her NASAL TONES... if Keir Starmer and Alan Rickman had a baby that was born with enlarged adenoids in 1978 this would be it.
- I'm assuming that is SB. I'm devastated for him when this inevitably goes tits up as he sounds so excited.
- Despite calling Cooper a head in the past I am feeling v sorry for him rn

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Okay so in that video JACK is holding the thing to throw the ball with to play with the puppy. JACK is telling her son to pick up rubbish. JACK is sniffing like she’s had a boat full of j1g today.

It makes me realise that despite the laughter, her son is yet again a prop. Not allowed to hold the dog toy, picking up litter. She’s a disgusting person, everyone is just side characters in her manic life.

 

[NeoCortex]

Was the meadow of wildflowers ever actually seen?

All I see is a literally dead lawn and a shitload of weeds that she has left for months

 

[Falkor]

I honestly don't know how she's going to cope with a puppy. We've always had older rescue dogs who've been fine settling in, but nearly six years ago when the sheep started reaching critical mass we realised we were going to need a sheepdog and got a border collie puppy. I'm used to getting up through the night for a couple of months at lambing time, but toilet training him nearly broke me. He destroyed so much stuff in his first few weeks. I don't have the same bond with him as I do/did with our other dogs because I ended up just resenting him so much for the sheer stress of his puppyhood - he absolutely adores me and I just don't feel the same way about him, it's incredibly sad. But he loves his sheep and he loves me and Mr F and he spends a fair bit of time upside down on the sofa chilling out and he has a home here for life. I'll just definitely be sticking to rescue dogs in the future!

 

[instacharlie]

The state of that bloody garden Zero shits given.

 

[For the truth]

That is going to be a big dog completely ill thought out choice for someone who says she has no way out of renting; works long hours (lol) and has issues with her physical health. I’d imagine she’s hoping SB will want to be totally involved with dog doing walking after school and at weekends if he’s around. Likely will to start and then he’ll want to live his own life. Foolish move by her.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

Okay so in that video JACK is holding the thing to throw the ball with to play with the puppy. JACK is telling her son to pick up rubbish. JACK is sniffing like she’s had a boat full of j1g today.

It makes me realise that despite the laughter, her son is yet again a prop. Not allowed to hold the dog toy, picking up litter. She’s a disgusting person, everyone is just side characters in her manic life.

I think SB is holding the toy because she says to him “once you’ve thrown that…”

 

[MsGilmore]

Sounds like SB has inherited Jack’s nasal tones.
I feel really sorry for the cat. I’m sure the novelty will wear off when the reality sets in.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Thanks MA for the print screen, bringing this over:

This is the garage she kept Dash in. Defer to @MancBee our building expert for a full low down on the structure, but I’d assumed she had a similar garage to mine which wasn’t suitable accommodation for doors taken out our house (they rotted) much less a mammal but it’s far worse than initially assumed. There’s a missing window too which would have made it bleeping freezing in winter despite her claiming she kept a heater in there with him.

Moreover can someone really break into a garage when there’s a 2 foot wide window pushed through? Surely they’ve just stepped in?

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

God her bleeping voice. It's WET. It's the living incarnation of moist. And drippy. I could not live with that.