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ThriftStoreLeCreuset
Active member
Off topic, my boss (weirdly) explained what Le Creuset is this week. I had to not say "Oh, I know. I play a Le Creuset pan on the Internet."
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
ETA: They have been deleted 
Orphan_Black
VIP Member
2011 the year of the great poverty, and no presents for Christmas. Still inviting people over for playdates and putting her mobile number out into the public realm. (I've redacted it).
To all the nasty squigs defending the lying mare, stop it. She's a fraud and a grifter, she's making fools out of you and you're paying for the privilege.
Sideboard Bob
VIP Member
Remember the yellow squig that Jack was arguing with in the last thread, who is also an author? This is one of the books yellow squig has written…
Cucumberthunder
VIP Member
Using her son (who is below the age for Twitter's TOS) as a human shield... Just when we thought she couldn't get any lower.
colouredlines
VIP Member
So. The famous Open House Sale.
As we all know, Jack sold all her shit and made 3 grand.
3 grand is a lot of 20£ coffee tables, no? Luckily Jack had more specialist items to sell...
(A Frau with more knowledge of when UK festival tickets go on sale can take a look at that one!)
Even more luckily, Jack discovered that the world is full of idiots eager to part with their money:
Is this the first squig? The protosquig?
Jack was keen to get involved with this idea:
...and a monster is born!
Some people tried to offer other kinds of help, but Jack was havig none of it:
Send cashos, not adviceos:
This was also the start of Jack's media career:
Being on local media and with a history of being stalked, Jack showed her usual caution:
(I squiggled the address just in case one of her more rabid fans tries to set up a blue plaque.)
She sold EVERYTHING (except her laptop, camera, that Monsoon dress she was going to put on eBay last year, the fancy dress she wore to the awards the following month, the heart apron she wore in 2013 publicity shots...and her Filofax):
So the essential question: where did the money go? As we know from previous deep dives, she didn't move for another couple of months afterwards until she found a flat that was both bigger and marginally cheaper.
Some of it went to her doomed crafting business...
...and, interestingly, she claims to have donated some to charity (citation needed).
Just gonna finish by saying that if I were so desperate I had to sell EVERYTHING, up to and including my son's toy dinosaur, to survive - and if I were worried I'd soon end up in the same situation again - charitable donation of other people's money would not be a top priority. Unless I were trying to create an image, of course...
3 grand is a lot of 20£ coffee tables, no? Luckily Jack had more specialist items to sell...
(A Frau with more knowledge of when UK festival tickets go on sale can take a look at that one!)
Even more luckily, Jack discovered that the world is full of idiots eager to part with their money:
Is this the first squig? The protosquig?
Jack was keen to get involved with this idea:
...and a monster is born!
Some people tried to offer other kinds of help, but Jack was havig none of it:
Send cashos, not adviceos:
This was also the start of Jack's media career:
Being on local media and with a history of being stalked, Jack showed her usual caution:
(I squiggled the address just in case one of her more rabid fans tries to set up a blue plaque.)
She sold EVERYTHING (except her laptop, camera, that Monsoon dress she was going to put on eBay last year, the fancy dress she wore to the awards the following month, the heart apron she wore in 2013 publicity shots...and her Filofax):
So the essential question: where did the money go? As we know from previous deep dives, she didn't move for another couple of months afterwards until she found a flat that was both bigger and marginally cheaper.
Some of it went to her doomed crafting business...
...and, interestingly, she claims to have donated some to charity (citation needed).
Just gonna finish by saying that if I were so desperate I had to sell EVERYTHING, up to and including my son's toy dinosaur, to survive - and if I were worried I'd soon end up in the same situation again - charitable donation of other people's money would not be a top priority. Unless I were trying to create an image, of course...
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
This thread title comes courtesy of a legendary squig, nominated by @HotesTilaire I hope you both have a lovely evening.
For new frauen, the wiki is the pink button up top. Thread title nominations must be in the latter half of the thread (over post #500), include the words 'thread title' to make it easy to search and no swearing. We'd love to, but we're not allowed. Them's the rules.
Recap:
She blessed us with two new slops comprised of indistinguishable ingredients. One was topped with performative bay leaves, thereby not imparting any flavour at all. Fortunately, flavour is not a primary, secondary or even tertiary concern when creating a slop.
She can't buy grapes because they're not for the poors.
She is not a millionaire, she's not even a hundredaire and she's certainly not fredastaire.
She's going to open space squig's parcel! The canal cannot contain their fizzing, it's like Jack's famous whiskeybucha.
For new frauen, the wiki is the pink button up top. Thread title nominations must be in the latter half of the thread (over post #500), include the words 'thread title' to make it easy to search and no swearing. We'd love to, but we're not allowed. Them's the rules.
Recap:
She blessed us with two new slops comprised of indistinguishable ingredients. One was topped with performative bay leaves, thereby not imparting any flavour at all. Fortunately, flavour is not a primary, secondary or even tertiary concern when creating a slop.
She can't buy grapes because they're not for the poors.
She is not a millionaire, she's not even a hundredaire and she's certainly not fredastaire.
She's going to open space squig's parcel! The canal cannot contain their fizzing, it's like Jack's famous whiskeybucha.
Billing1717
New member
New here too and poking my head above parapet to say these threads are hilarious and I've been absorbed for WEEKS grunking (did I do it right?!) from the beginning. In general, I'm confused as to how she seems to have been given opportunity after opportunity, had a niche she could have made a go at and made a real difference, but it all seems to have come to very little? Just a muddle of vague goals, unfinished projects and no tangible results for the people she claims to 'uphold'. She's probably got a decent income trickling through, but at what cost? Living her life 'vicariously' through social media is clearly having a damaging effect on her and feeding her narcissism, and I shudder to think how disparate her online persona must be to the real life Jack. After finishing each thread I am left with the same question, which I feel would solve all of her purported problems:
Why doesn't she just get a JOB?!?
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
They have a point ....
One of the responses
One of the responses
Hayze2384
Chatty Member
I am new to these JM threads. Can I say they are the best ones on here. I have been laughing so much. You are all hilarious!
I thought I was in the minority of people that thought JM was a fake, self absorbed little gobshite.... clearly not!
Thank you for making me smile!
I thought I was in the minority of people that thought JM was a fake, self absorbed little gobshite.... clearly not!
Thank you for making me smile!
Brian Butterfield
VIP Member
Your daily reminder that Jack Monroe is neither working class nor a single mother.
Sigh.
Shawads
VIP Member
Wow. What a bitch. using her son as a way to stop people forensically questioning her questionable morals
YR80
Chatty Member
Hi all. I’m new to this thread but have abhorred JM from a distance for ages. She built her fan base on having no money and no food. But now she’s been on TV, she has books out, been on radio and podcasts but still expects people to believe that she’s one tin of beans away from starvation. I find the whole act now really uncomfortable. I’ve just looked her up on Companies House and I see her accounts are overdue. Is this because she doesn’t want people to see how much she REALLY makes?
DisgruntledGoat
VIP Member
UUUUURGH imagine being Jack and having a fanbase comprised entirely of shitty little snitching weasels.
jenny2603
VIP Member
I tried a calculation based on that time she only had £34 in the bank to see if that might have been enough and the mortgage calculator called me white trash and told me to shut my legs.
usefullyuseless
VIP Member
Deflection with SB. Predictable.
Anyways, get him to package up the Patreon rewards and post them out. That should keep him busy for a while since they were last sent out never.
Vanelope
VIP Member
The bit about moving SB - what about when you uprooted him entirely to London for Allegra after about a week and then had to drag him back again when she dumped you?
CrackingOwlSanctuary
VIP Member
Jack: 'Hello, one of your finest mortgages please.'
Unsuspecting Mortgage Advisor: 'Erm, how much are you wanting to borrow?'
Jack: '£300,000 please. It's for my forever home.'
Unsuspecting Mortgage Advisor: 'Ok, can we look at your financials -'
Jack: 'Completed it mate, got the deposit and I have a magic money tree where strangers on the internet just give me money for nothing.'
Unsuspecting Mortgage Advisor: 'Right... just it says here you got turned down for a £10 a month internet contract and you only make an old 50p and a wham bar from your book sales?'
Jack: 'See you in court, troll.'
Unsuspecting Mortgage Advisor: 'Erm, how much are you wanting to borrow?'
Jack: '£300,000 please. It's for my forever home.'
Unsuspecting Mortgage Advisor: 'Ok, can we look at your financials -'
Jack: 'Completed it mate, got the deposit and I have a magic money tree where strangers on the internet just give me money for nothing.'
Unsuspecting Mortgage Advisor: 'Right... just it says here you got turned down for a £10 a month internet contract and you only make an old 50p and a wham bar from your book sales?'
Jack: 'See you in court, troll.'
Mr Krabs
VIP Member
Selling everything you own is such a bizarre thing to do. Yeah you can get £20 for a coffee table, but then you’re just going to have to buy another one down the line for more money. It stinks of attention seeking. Like someone told her they wouldn’t be bailing her out for the rent anymore so she was like “I must sell everything I own to survive!” when she could have applied for benefits, sold unnecessary stuff etc. Pure speculation, m’lud, but I wonder if there was a big rift after the fire service debacle and this was a very public way of embarrassing daddy.