Jack Monroe #268 May I ask where you work?

[FlirtyThirty]

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Stealing your screenshot @Silver Linings because this has befuddled me.

The key ingredient in a fluffernutter is marshmallow Fluff which is not:
-(90%)Vegan
-A budget food
-Sold in tin cans

So I'm not sure which of her books Jack thought this recipe was appropriate for. She has absolutely no idea who her target audience is does she?

Spoiler: OT fluffernutter Point Horror TW bit grim

Fluffernutter is the name of a cat in a Point Horror book that gets stuffed into a baseball cap by a stalker. Can’t read it without thinking nooooo.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I fell down our very steep stairs a few years back carrying washing and only got a bruise, feeling left out!

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

I am praying, I tell ya, PRAYING with my russell’s Joined together that it’s Special Advisor please let her be a SpAd it will last all of a month, they get fired ta will and it will draw all the attention of the press

If it's this, I look forward to the return of The Thick Of It with a Jack-inspired series.

 

[Hollaaa]

Spoiler: OT more Moomins

The newest Moomins cartoon series is much more gentle and fluffy than the Judderman-esque stop motion nightmare version of my youth. Although I like the terrifying version better and you can get most of them on the dodgy on YouTube.

 

[Shawads]

Maybe she did a zoom call with him and he hit the deck laughing and then Jack's mum would have come in all puzzled and been like "what's going on?" and Jack's dad would just have managed to say "gold on a trifle" in between laughs. It would have been so funny and everyone laughs about to this day.


I wonder if she sprayed the whole dinner gold or just the dessert course. How much spite is involved here exactly?

"Gold on a trifle"
Bookmarking this for #later

 

[StringyMango]

Wow, popping her own dislocated kneecap back in. What a superhuman feat. I guess only the special sort of people, those who were able to eyeball their own c section, are able to do this. Must be all the fish and bollocks!

Most definitely bollocks considering she fell on the stairs in the shitty bungalow.

 

[Elastoblast]

It was the repeated photo more than the actual food. I should have been clearer

You'd think she'd have varied her images a little bit if actually dishing it up 3 days in a row to poor boy

Edit for auto of instead of dish

 

[Cookiecookie]

I'm having soup for my lunch tomorrow

I know, all this sandwich nonsense is making me happy to be having leftovers instead for lunch today!

 

[Elastoblast]

How dare you all doubt the strength and durability of everyone's favourite sideboard bench presser.

In other news I was singing away to Pet Shop Boys : West end girls this morning and it is just begging for a Jack Based rewrite

Sometimes you're grandad is DEAD
There's a big ginger cat and it's sleeping on your bed
She's fucking mad, too unstable
Kicking in shins and bench pressing tables
In a bunglaow in a SouthEnd town
Call the police, there's a mad (wo) man around
Falling down underground on way to Asda
In a South End town

… In a SouthEnd town, in the slop bowl world
The smallest boys and litigating girls

… Too many educated, tattling voices
Face tune on iphone too many choices
If, when, why, what?
How many followers have you got?
Have you got it, do you get it, if so, how often?
Which do you choose, a hard or slop option

Etc

I can't love this enough. Superb work

 

[L3moning]

This!

(I am joking)

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ETA - (It has been deleted)

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"Look what you made me do"?

Taylor's not gonna shag you Jack

(Taylor seems to go for tall femme blondes).

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

why have I been blocked from replying to Jack? I literally have never looked at her twitter til now

The j1G is probably out in force tonight.

 

[Shawads]

Because they've seen people praising Jack's recipes, so they assume we all thrive on slop since we've all lost our teeth and can no longer chew?

Evolution that haunted bird app turning us into gurning freaks

 

[ChactFecker]

The best few ingredient Sandwich (IMO) is:

Crusty bread, lurpack butter, Dressed crab, maybe a dash of vinegar.

Not sure anyone would want to pay ~ £6-10 for a kids packed lunch sarnie mind.

What a question though, I mean kids like
Ham, cheese, chicken, peanut butter, jam, Nutella, egg mayo, tuna mayo, Billy the bear, chopped pork etc
Add some salad if they'll eat it and you have it in.
Add a condiment as required.

The mind boggles.

 

[Captainmouse]

Mini grunk as i have been out at a job interview this morning (Fingers crossed please Fraus, I am perilously close to murdering my current boss)

Listen, I am the princess of sparkletown and even I think the gold trifle is a bit frigging much!!!! The "specials" will be shitting glitter for a fortnight.

If she just popped her knee back into place, I will lick an eyeball. Absolute utter codswallop!!!!!!

# thread title The "specials" will be shitting glitter for a fortnight.

 

[Shawads]

@Shawads I thought I was the only person to have made 100s & 1000s sandwiches! I would sometimes switch it up to pure sugar sandwiches, or even add golden syrup. How I didn’t end up with diabetes by 12, I’ll never know! If only my mum had offered me bacteria laden, soggy, snout and germy salad sandwiches instead.

Snout and germy! Ooh golden syrup sandwiches (oh god I have gone #fulljack)
There is nothing like the taste of them, again on white bread. I actually have syrup cos of pancake Day but I feel weird even using it nowadays, I don't have the best of dental health but the thought of eating syrup now makes them feel claggy.
Really fancy it tho ...
Yeah used to just do plain sugar sarnies, wonder why Americans joke about the state of British teeth?

 

[Shawads]

Scenes from the shitty bungalow..

Halcyon days. Albert square has never been as good as when they used to play hard dirty dub in the marketplace 24/7

 

[YenE]

So has she got a block of jaggery in the cupboard or did she give it away? Or am I reading this wrong?

She gave the kombucha away due to the alcohol and potential issues it might have for her sobriety

 

[L3moning]

Dunno about Golden Syrup sandwiches, but Golden Syrup on toast is nice.

 

[Captainmouse]

I have to confess, I have used shimmer spray on cupcakes but only a bit. I didn’t cover the things like Jack did! It’s not a car! Magimix

FTFY

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

OH MY GOD EGG MAYO AND CUT INTO TRIANGLES YOU BORING TWAT

Pythagoras innit (Not dodgy I promise).

Rectangles Vs. Triangles: The Great Sandwich Debate

You've got a lot of decisions to make as you build that leftover turkey sandwich. One decision you'll probably make with ease is whether to cut the sandwich into triangles or rectangles. If you go for the diagonal slice, you're in good company. Chefs, foodies, an architect and even a...

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