Notice
Thread ordered by most liked posts - View normal thread.
@Cookiecookie it's @Into_the_tunnel who must not be triggered by <whispers> granola. The very concept of grated corned beef is what is most upsetting to me. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, seeing that pink wet cuboid slab clutched in the veiny hand of a smol pixie, gradually mashing it through the grater into little fatty chunks. Great, now I have heartburn.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 63

Traazers

VIP Member
Thought I'd see what the squiggles on twitter are saying about her "absence" and this one really made me laugh, even though I know the context

1632055502032.png


ETA: early thread title nom?
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: 62

Into_the_tunnel

VIP Member
Please make it stop.

Why would you post a picture of yourself like this?

Why?

(edit- for you Jack- lots of us have Saturday nights free from alcohol for a myriad of reasons. It isn’t new. It isn’t even new for you. Stop making something mundane, not. You are acting more and more like a teenager who has just discovered RHCP or Nirvana for the first time. Just a piece of advice.)
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 62

MooBelle

VIP Member
Wow, what a grunk that was! I always miss the chaos..
Was speeding through so apologies for forgetting who wrote what!
She is definitely on some sort of manic Narc rage. The poor kid has come round for what looks to be a 'one weekend a month' visit. Something was said at drop off, either by him or his father, that set her off. Speaking from experience, a Narc mother will deliberately goad her child to get a negative response so she can go into a rage.
Probably he wanted to just watch telly/play computer games but she's planned the magical mystery tour instead and will have seen this as a huge insult. She will have gone berserk and dug out that toy. That awful picture just makes me think she's told him to sit and look at it. (Only a suggestion m'lud as this is what my mother used to do)
The bizarre tour of the woods and the quite frankly crazy deluge of photos are once again 'proof' she is a good mother. As someone said, it's definitely targeted at us, but also someone else. His father, the courts? No clue but it is very performative.
She's definitely being held off SM against her will. The silence on Twitter speaks volumes, as does the randomness of her IG.
All of this, the I AM THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD, the playing nicely on SM, the Twitter silence, something is coming. Something big.
Oh and that grim dinner is definitely out of a packet. Gravy is Bisto and you can still see the square edges with round corners on the upturned mash. Nothing wrong with that but don't say you made it yourself!!!
 
  • Like
  • Sad
  • Heart
Reactions: 62

Jelly Bean

VIP Member
Imagine being 11 years old and your mum posts about your cuddly toy. And she implies that you still play with it/use it for comfort.

And then imagine going back to school in a couple of days time.
Omg she is the mother from About a Boy isn't she?
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Sad
Reactions: 62

Nottonightbabe

VIP Member
This honestly makes me feel so much better about my own to-do list and hobbies I took up in lockdown the first that I never actually started.

'Health on a bootstrap' made me lol, picturing shit like homeopathic paracetamol so you can stretch it out, or growing your own penicillin using leftover slop as a medium.



How to get blocked by Saturday Kitchen
For reference, this is how far she got with Healthy on a Bootstrap


On this date (12th May 2018) there were 3 weeks to go till launch...

Screenshot_20210918-090304.png


 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: 62

Veronicaaa

VIP Member
One pic is just their legs stretched out, dark trainers, the other is him dragging the trolley, white trainers. Or, the dark trainers one isn’t him? Her legs and trainers are the same day in all the pics I think.
@Irena Sadly it is above my pay grade to officially welcome you to the Jack Monroe Sleuth Society but I expect @LennyBriscoe will be along later with your badge. Great work!

Screenshot 2021-09-20 at 10.11.49.png


Screenshot 2021-09-20 at 10.11.34.png
 
  • Like
  • Wow
  • Haha
Reactions: 61

SweetTransvestite

VIP Member
Shitty bungalow and the fugly 70s bedding bought today. It's almost as good as a copy of today's newspaper for proof. I think the bedding means Jack was deffo born in 1978.
I can't see legs without thinking of the drummer 'Legs' Larry Smith.
Here is complete with teething beads. Perhaps he is related to Jack.
View attachment 769860
My parents had the original duvet and it reminds me of crawling into their bed when I was smolly smol smol smol.
However, I actually was born in 1978 so...

Just why Grandpa Rigsby would be using it to furnish his seedy bedsits in the early 2000s is anyones guess. Probably spent all his meagre income (serving the poor unfortunates) on greengages and cheap wet ham
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 61

FlashBoof

VIP Member
Hi Jack - good to see you still follow. It’s no thanks to you the poor kid is still alive, considering you have dragged him repeatedly from pillar to post, where and when it suits your dramatic and ridiculous life - and whatever fiancé you are knocking about with at any given moment. All thanks should go to the family members that have actually provided him with stability and nutrition, I.e. his dad (and possibly grandparents). Not slop and bollock sausage in between performative parenting stints and rehab/aparthotels for made up afflictions.

By the way, its paparazzo - twat.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 61

BlendedSlop

VIP Member
No words.

SB's theme park visit will be "tricky without a car?" She managed to get herself to Edinburgh, the Lake District and God knows where else over the past few years, all without a car. But of course they were things SHE wanted to do, so that was fine.

Unless that entire post was just an elaborate pass-agg dig at someone for saying they couldn't give her a lift there. Who the fuck knows, but as so many of us have said, everything Jack posts, however seemingly innocuous, has an ulterior motive.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 60

Emmapism

VIP Member
The insane specificity of this to produce absolute shite.

Jack should have crossed the whole thing out and said 'order an Uber Eats and put your feet up, I love you'

No wonder she left.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 60

kachoochoo

VIP Member
"come on SB, I'm taking you for a lovely walk on this beautiful sunny day! mustn't forget to take the shopping trolley to own those tattle bitches!"
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Sick
Reactions: 60

Pocahontas

VIP Member
‘Lil homeboy is absolutely his mother’s son ...’
I mean - sure, if you’re talking privately to your friend or relation, why not, it’s your kid.
But she’s a public Instagram face and he’s at high school now. Whether she likes it or not, there are boundaries involved - and just cos she’s his mother doesn’t mean she should take away his agency.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Angry
Reactions: 60

BlendedSlop

VIP Member
12 separate grid posts in one day. Jesus wept.

1. Stop calling moods "bits" you irritating bint.
2. Stop posting your son on the Internet.
3. Stop reading Tattle.
4. Your super secret mash is 100% something ridiculous like blended potato smilies.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 60