@Orphan_Black what is the kitty thing with the sticky out tongue? It's v cute.
Your noble deed will not be forgotten.
Your noble deed will not be forgotten.
Jack Monroe #189 Food Crime Pie
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Geddon bellend, Stirling effort
It's a bag tie for resealing things, you can pull the tongues out to tighten their grips (you get three of them in a pack)
Poor sb. I have a tendency to go off piste when I cook and I love my porridge filled with loads of goodness but I've learned that kids like to know a) what to expect and b) what they're eating.
We can get creative when choosing toppings for things like pizza pancakes and cake but it has to be within certain parameters, anything too weird and they won't touch it.
Unless a YouTuber or tiktoker has endorsed it of course
Think you forgot to price up toilet roll!
We do the same as you! Microwave porridge left to cool, maybe a bit of sliced banana or berries if we’re feeling FANCY...when on-site I get up at stupid o’clock and I prefer savoury porridge with a spoon of peanut butter stirred in. Honestly keeps this very active smol pixie man satiated until it’s mid morning, possibly longer. I know it sounds rank, but if you need a shitload of slow releasing energy, it’s way more satisfying than a load of horse spunk muffinsIt’s covered in hair! I had to check what they said it was!
I make porridge for the kids in the microwave with milk - if you leave it to cool it absorbs more of the milk then you can mix in more if it goes too far. It’s not difficult - and quick as they have no patience for hob porridge.
Grown up porridge gets Nutella in it
once my kid asked if it was marmite and I nearly said yes but had a sudden premonition of having to make marmite porridge and having a chaos
Yes! Well done to billybellend, fame and success at last dear heart!Geddon bellend, Stirling effort
Poor son, being given “half dead bananas”, why?
Oh we made that as well! Same results as you, it was flat, dry and inedible. Even the bleeping birds wouldn’t touch it
Right. On the night shift with the lad now A hoping he’ll be well enough to come home within the next week. Night you wonderful cabal, and cheers for all your kind thoughts. You’re a cracking lot, you really are x
He's walking likes he's had ten pints and heading for a pissPOW! Grab it by the scruff of the neck at the back and pull it back towards you. Flip it over. Throw it down. Whack it again. BAM! She is a Food Writer?
The cat has chimed it's time to turn the bread, I peered into my slow cooker like an eager child on christmas morning, awaiting surprises! I gingerly lifted my pot's lid and behold! It looked good! It smelled delicious, Dear Hearts. Oh what a smug smol pixie I felt, I giggled feverishly!
Then I turned the mofo out and duck me it's a slimy brick. Back in you go for another forty minutes. @HotesTilaire your warnings are ringing in my mind at this point. I'm dreading the texture
Then I turned the mofo out and duck me it's a slimy brick. Back in you go for another forty minutes. @HotesTilaire your warnings are ringing in my mind at this point. I'm dreading the texture
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The middle picture looks like a sleeping fox
If all else fails perhaps you could make a batch to wall your garden. Brick life.The cat has chimed it's time to turn the bread, I peered into my slow cooker like an eager child on christmas morning, awaiting surprises! I gingerly lifted my pot's lid and behold! It looked good! It smelled delicious, Dear Hearts. Oh what a smug smol pixie I felt, I giggled feverishly!
Then I turned the mofo out and duck me it's a slimy brick. Back in you go for another forty minutes. @HotesTilaire your warnings are ringing in my mind at this point. I'm dreading the texture
Does it include a sandwich though?
Where is the granola recipe
This thread is turning into Food Crime Everything. So many ways for innocent ingredients to come to a terrible end. Can you IMAGINE making a career of it?
It has a kind of slime mould thing going on. I did physically wretch on touching it. I'm 100% going to try and see how thin a slice would be if I managed 37.5 slices out of it
Also, we need to add 15p for first aid bits due to me being a clumsy oaf with these damn hands and burning myself putting the paper back into the slow cooker.
@Orphan_Black that is the most upsetting loaf of bread I have ever beheld. I feel bad saying that because I'm sure it's Jack's fault and not attributable to either of your unfurloughed hands. Look how miserable it is to have been thrust into existence.
Ah the burns on her hands make sense now. Its part of the recipie. Got it.It has a kind of slime mould thing going on. I did physically wretch on touching it. I'm 100% going to try and see how thin a slice would be if I managed 37.5 slices out of it
Also, we need to add 15p for first aid bits due to me being a clumsy oaf with these damn hands and burning myself putting the paper back into the slow cooker.
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