Jack Monroe #163 Not saying anything new

[MancBee]

I am going to have to step away and talk to my partner and real life friends. I know it is not an airport, but I have only just come back I don't want people thinking I am not OK. (well I am far from OK, but I know who to turn to)

A couple of weeks ago I was in a very dark place, and I do not need to go their again so soon.

This final outburst from her is just disgusting. There are no depths to which she will not go to keep herself in the limelight. I hate to say this, but she is revelling in her trauma real or made up. And that is sickening.

I will be back sometime, but I just can't cope with her at the moment.

 

[MancBee]

Speaking of the stuffing soup, haven't seen our MancBee on thread lately, hope you're ok and just taking a break from the chaos, Manc!

Hello all, just catching up. I have had a few days in hospital (strange experience during covid, only person in a 6 bed ward and so, so quiet) Going in at the end of the month for an operation, new hospital this time, that will be 5 on the go at once. The NHS is bloody fantastic, even with my complex conditions they have never given up.

I have still been reading here, when I felt up to it. I'm appalled by her comments about cancer and centering herself in the Sarah Everard story. I stopped myself from commenting as my blood pressure would be through the roof. Though honestly nothing she says comes as a surprise, she is oblivious to how abhorrent her comments are.......and £400 for a scarf, more money that sense, more money than taste too.

You've all kept me entertained though, I was in the best place when I laughed up that lung.

 

[MancBee]

I have been open about my childhood SA on here, what I have just read has made me feel physically sick.
I have no idea whether what she has written is true, but tweeting about it at this moment after the awful news about Sarah Everard seems so, so wrong.

Without doubt these are the most prepared tweets she has ever done, thought out and considered. However there are gaping holes in the story. I feel awful doubting such an horrific story, but parts of of just don't add up.

It all seems to be done so performative, as if it is done to get further work writing articles for the press. If that is her ultimate goal, it couldn't be more distasteful.

And for someone with three therapists on speed dial, she really hasn't been getting value for money.

My cynical side thinks this is all too convenient timing. She wants to be the media go to talking head for.......
Poverty
Food bank use
Budget cooking
Free school meals
Fire investigation
Lesbian's issues
Women's issues
Gender non conforming issues
Trans issues
Childhood SA
Childhood grooming
SA
Stalking issues
Female abuse issues
I'm sure I've missed some more.

The full range, one stop shop for The Guardian.

Monetising herself like this is just horrific and really unpleasant.



Long post, sorry. I'm back

 

[Harrybosch]

I'm going to log off in a minute, because this shit is triggering as fuck. But please, for people who do not have experience with child SA, could you bear the following in mind before posting:

• kids are great at hiding stuff and lying about abuse
• kids (and their adult selves) are great at lying to themselves about the abuse that happened
• stories of abused adults often don't add up (i.e. I did this because of X, when actually, they did this because of the abuse that happend)
• as a child SA victim, this story rings absolutely true to me. I know she lies all the time, I get why you may question her, but I think in this one instance, you questioning her credibility may genuinely cause harm to other SA victims.

Love to all dear hearts who need it today.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Since many of us are having a particularly difficult time at the moment for a variety of reasons, I thought perhaps we could have a good old-fashioned cabal dance party? Slopbot wanted to go back to his roots as after all, his sole reason for coming into being was to create slop. I had the idea of stealing the lyrics format from COVID bellend Ian Brown's 'F.E.A.R.' but, obviously, make it about our favourite genre of non-Newtonian liquid. It was a lot harder than I anticipated, I've almost certainly spent longer on it than Jack has on her upcoming book.





ETA: The double yolker

 

[traumatised sideboard]

As a matter of general interest, since mid-November I've been keeping a notepad file of the Jack Dictionary which lists every word or phrase she either doesn't understand or can't spell as well as those she has over-used to the point of absurdity. I've had to spoiler it for length. Such good at literal words, much 7x author

Spoiler: The Complete Dictionary

altruistic
atrocious
avaricious
basking
béchamel
belligerent
beside oneself
bit-part
bouldering
buttercream
cantankerous
cacophony
cannellini
ceremoniously
compassion
dredge
ephemera
eponymous
expunge
fauna
febrile
firepower
flummox
fold
ginger
granular
homogeneous
humility
immaculate
incremental
lascivious
loath
love-in
luxuriate
maceration
marauding
mendacious
minimal
peripatetic
progeny
rough-hewn
sedition
siesta
sojourn
thank you
triumvirate
tutelage
unctuous
vernacular
wistful
work

 

[Billybellend]

Mrs. B’s sister messaged me to tell me not to look at Twitter. I looked at Twitter. I’m stepping away too, it was just too triggering. I won’t go into details here, but I too was sexually and physically abused at a very young age (hope that spoiler worked). I’m still in therapy, which I would recommend to anyone and everyone, quite frankly. Hugest love to all the Cabal.

What I have observed is that there’s been a lot of ‘all men are bad’ posts on Twitter. We’re really not all bad, ignorant, misogynistic arseholes, and many of us recognise that women (and indeed the LGBTQ+ community) haven’t had the privileged position in society that we have. I am bringing my son up to respect women as equals, and recognise that they still don’t get treated as such. Apologies if that reads as inflammatory or if I’ve worded it poorly, but my heart is in the right place xx

 

[MancBee]

I see she has gained many more followers in the last hour. It is clear from her last few tweets why she is doing this. It's all about the money.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but as a victim of childhood abuse, it is sickening that anyone would monetise their trauma in this way. I am actually feeling physically sick. That is not an exaggeration either, I do feel shakily nauseous.

 

[Flumps]

I'm going to log off in a minute, because this shit is triggering as fuck. But please, for people who do not have experience with child SA, could you bear the following in mind before posting:

• kids are great at hiding stuff and lying about abuse
• kids (and their adult selves) are great at lying to themselves about the abuse that happened
• stories of abused adults often don't add up (i.e. I did this because of X, when actually, they did this because of the abuse that happend)
• as a child SA victim, this story rings absolutely true to me. I know she lies all the time, I get why you may question her, but I think in this one instance, you questioning her credibility may genuinely cause harm to other SA victims.

Love to all dear hearts who need it today.

I’m catching up, but I have to echo this.

I wish to fuck Jack would use trigger warnings (partially selfishly, because I am now going to have to do some work I didn’t expect to have to do when I got up this morning) and that she had had the kind of therapy that covered the very real danger of retraumatising yourself by reliving things so graphically.

Jack, I hope you are ok. SM really isn’t the place for this. I really would see a specialist in trauma therapy for this if you can. It’s clearly tainting a lot for you, but you can move past it.

But most of all, please can people stop saying ‘someone must have known’ (I know you are all saying it in a generally more nuanced way, sorry) but I know my parents knew nothing about what was happening to me until I told them. I know because the worst memory I have from childhood was the look on my mum’s face when I told her and how long l and I saw it change everything.

I probably need to log off now. I’m sorry if it feels like policing. Much love to anyone who needs it today xx

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

So, in a week where searches revealed a woman has been brutally murdered in London and a woman and one of her children have been murdered, the other one 'found', another woman murdered in Cheshire, a charity helping Sikh women have said the number of calls they receive from women suffering domestic abuse have doubled over the pandemic, West Midlands police said the number of domestic abuse reports are up 38%, there's a report of the way it is alleged a man dealt with the body of a woman he murdered in Devon, there's a search going on in Sussex for a man who attempted to rape a teenager, a 16 year old girl was murdered in Wales, there's another woman missing in West Wales, a court case where a woman was beaten and murdered after the perpetrator, who met her through online dating, had already stabbed another woman in the neck in the street and many, many reports of court cases relating to rapes, domestic abuse and violence - all on the first click of the BBC News Regions - some twat in Southend pipes up with

'I say, has anybody seen my girlfriend's scarf?'

 

[colouredlines]

Two points:

* I still think it is inappropriate in the context of the current discussion. Murder is not a MeToo moment.

* Here is a link for anyone who has suffered non-recent abuse. I know this is a complex issue, but I am so proud of my relatives who reported their abuser years later, preventing him from attacking other children. Even if you do not report, there are options for help and counselling:

NAPAC – Supporting Recovery From Childhood Abuse

napac.org.uk

eta: wrong link, now corrected

 

[Alansbigplate]

Conscious of not adding to the flood that I’m really trying to avoid online, I’m often not part of the zeitgeist and this has been no different.

The hysteria of people shouting triggering details over each other rather than respecting someone’s loss is so indicative of the social media culture.

I completely agree with bearing witness and not turning away but this has turned into mass traumatisation being the only acceptable reaction.

Last year we all watched footage of a man being killed over and over and over. It’s confronting and there are never any trigger warnings.

Now Sarah is being used in a similar way and there is a lack of dignity for her and respect for her individual loss in it and people outdoing each other with their tales of me me me. It’s about that individual person and their story.

Believing Jack or not doesn’t come into it, there are safe spaces for discussions and channels for speaking out for a reason - to protect everyone.

ETA I feel clumsy because I understand why George Floyd’s story is an ‘everyman’ story for black men and for black women when it comes to Breonna Taylor and I understand why women see themselves in Sarah just walking home. But they are real people, not symbols.

 

[Carmina-Piranha]

I am triggered by her comments today. So put her on mute.
I thought I would try and cheer myself up with an online purchase dear fraus...
...and this ta-daaaa, is the most ridiculous pair of shoes I have ever clapped eyes on.
And dear readers, I bought them. I hope this has raised a wee smile in such grim circumstances. Loves you all. Xx

 

[KebabGirl]

If it's true, Twitter isn't the place for it.
If it's not true, Twitter isn't the place for it.
If it's part true, part embellishment, Twitter isn't the place for it.

That is potentially very damaging to anyone who taught her, her parents, her fire colleagues, her coffee shop manager.

Now is not the time for this, Twitter is not the place for it, ever.

 

[Emmapism]

I don't know how to do that spoiler thingy but just a small trigger warning re: the below.





I worked on a show about 6 years ago and as part of the development had to track down a woman who had been the victim of a stalker. He had bothered her for years in a multitude of ways and eventually attacked and almost killed her. The police were as useless as Jack paints them to be. I think she reported him about 100 times before the attack.

Anyway long story short, for understandable reasons she had gone to great lengths to hide her location from the media. I found her due to a mention of her name in a picture taken of a local running club and some other digging. There was no other identifying info online. Not a shred of it.

When I eventually wrote her a gentle letter she contacted me straight away, terrified that I had managed to find her. I laid out exactly how I had so she could ensure that nobody else could do the same. She was able to request removal of that online info. I told the company I was working for to cease all contact.

I will say the way Jack freely gives out information online gives me significant pause, based on this experience.

It is my inclination to believe all women and I would put money on pretty much all of us having some awful experiences. But as others have said, Twitter isn't the place and now isn't the time. Very disturbing.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

When did she change her username back to 'Jack Monroe is away" LOL? Did she do that during the whole 5 hours she was actually 'away'?

Going to let you in on a little secret

Spoiler

she was never away

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Fellow child SA victim here. Thank you for writing so sensitively and intelligently on this as always my dear Harry.

Sending my love and solidarity to you and all our wonderful cabal that has suffered.

I'm going to go and have a little cry now. I feel so very sad that there are so many of us xxxxxxx

I'm going to log off in a minute, because this shit is triggering as fuck. But please, for people who do not have experience with child SA, could you bear the following in mind before posting:

• kids are great at hiding stuff and lying about abuse
• kids (and their adult selves) are great at lying to themselves about the abuse that happened
• stories of abused adults often don't add up (i.e. I did this because of X, when actually, they did this because of the abuse that happend)
• as a child SA victim, this story rings absolutely true to me. I know she lies all the time, I get why you may question her, but I think in this one instance, you questioning her credibility may genuinely cause harm to other SA victims.

Love to all dear hearts who need it today.

 

[MarzBarzie]

I’m a very lucky Frau. Mr Barzie has just told me that he’ll use his Instagram account on Tuesday, and screen mirror his phone to the big screen, so I can use my phone to tattle with the cabal. Three cheers for Mr Barzie - that’s devotion for ya!!!
This is going to be like an actual night out

 

[MancBee]

I am reluctant to write this as it sounds like I'm trying to outdo Jack with bad experiences, but it is true and relevant so here goes.
Trigger warning stalking.

When I was in my 20's I had a male stalker. It was a married man who worked in an office the far end of the building from my office. He became obsessed, even though he knew I livdc with my partner. He sat in his car outside my flat late into the evening. He would arrive outside my home first thing in the morning. When I went to the toilet in work, he would follow me in. He would follow me at lunchtime. There were other things, but they were too personal to go into. It was horrible.

I involved the police, who said that nothing he had done was actually illegal. They suggested I take out an injunction, which needs a far lower burden of proof. I got one and the stalking ended.

I met the man many years later, he apologised and said he was struggling with his sexuality at that time. He seemed genuine and I accepted his apology. I have never seen him since.

Why was an injunction never suggested to Jack?