Jack Monroe #137 NarcLife by Bootstrap Crook

[Silver Linings]

 

[MooBelle]

I wonder if it is a tactic with Jack re sponsorship with companies. Do the bare minimum at the beginning of the campaign, and do even that in a half arsed fashion, then sort of by mutual consent the project is very quietly dropped and forgotten. Meanwhile emails from the company consistently ignored while Jack on twitter does a performative 'illness'. Company feels they can't pursue it.

I think that is what has happened with Del Monte.
Only 3 posts, very few likes. Latest pic doesn't even mention Jack.

I was poking about Linda McCarney's socials and I noticed there seems to be a lot of love for her duck substitute, even from meat eaters. I haven't tried it or actual duck so I can't comment on that but I do think that if Jack sloppifies it, there will be real world consequences from enraged faux duck fans. I am therefore praying that Jack tackles duck next and calls it something abysmal like Softy Softy No Quacko Tacos but it's just a big bowl of brown slop.

I can absolutely verify the loveliness of the LM fake duck!!! Her hoisin pancake kit is a favourite in our house of carnivores!

 

[Mustard]

Washing machine operator?!?

And, emotional labourer? What is one of those?

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Roadside Mum is a 'New Age Traveller', isn't she?
Not a Traveller, traveller.

 

[Emmapism]

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Putting floofle aside, and how this absolutely did not happen, why tf is she downstairs again?!

 

[Eurgh]

I bet she was pleased to get an MBE even if it was by mistake.

She can wear it for the Queen’s speech at Christmas this year.

 

[Adayinthelife]

The private school meals thing is a faux class war distraction anyway. Kids at private schools shouldn’t get shit meals because the FSM meals are inadequate, all kids should get proper food. Having worked at at one fancy school and several bog standard comprehensives, I can report that primary kids will mostly eat a nice hot meal if you provide it and secondary kids will mostly pick the closet thing to pizza and chips, whatever nutritionalist designed banquet is offered. I started teaching when turkey twizlers were on the menu and the kids devoured them!

edit to correct spelling of turkey twizlers!

Agree. Reminds me of when the tabloids were up in arms about kids in secure custody getting a ‘better’ education...

 

[Lanie]

Between fish, eggs and excess lactose whilst having an intolerance her bathroom must be a fun place to visit

 

[Captainmouse]

I hope someday the cabal can have a meetup, whether on an assigned bench by the sea, in our second home of Edinburgh, picking lemons in a Cypriot grove, or in the Groucho craning our necks at Redcar. Someday!

Surely sarfend! Our spiritual home

 

[sioc]

Don't worry Jack, I wrote the recipe for you, now you can get back to saving the children!

Chicken, Veg and Potatoes: A Recipe

First, place your chicken tenderly into a pan. It can be frozen or not - the chicken, not the pan, haha! What am I like?! Some so-called "chefs" have strict rules that they insist you follow. But personally I like to throw caution to the wind and do what feels good. So defrost your chicken, leave it...life's too short.

Add a smear of lard to the pan with the chicken. Other fats are available, but I live on a very strict budget and can't afford them. In fact, I added the merest sliver of lard, so as not to waste a penny of precious ingredients. This means that someday, my son and I may have our Forever Home. If you are fortunate enough to already own a home, rather than living in precarious rented accommodation, you may use more.

Turn on the heat and let the lard melt, caressing the chicken with its winsome porky touch. While this is going on, chop your vegetables. If you have problems with knives, why not try this handy vegetable chopper, available here from Amazon? Yes, I'll get a few p tossed my way if you buy it, but I really believe in and heartily endorse this product!

Add your vegetables to the pan and stir firmly. I find this is best achieved with a spoon, although if you have sold all your kitchenware in a Yard Sale, a rare Mary Poppins replica umbrella makes a good substitute.

Meanwhile, carefully peel your potatoes. This is a simple task, so easy that the average 44-year-old can manage it with minimal supervision. Keep the potato peelings - if you have a vegan in the family, they can mix them with some Del Monte pineapple chunks for a delicious vegan alternative.

Add the potatoes to the pan and cook everything for three hours, or until softy softy soft soft.

This serves four - if you don't guzzle it greedily straight from the pan, like I did! This site, with its millions of delicious recipes, will always be free to use but does incur running costs. To help offset them, you can always chuck a pound or two my way. As a former foodbank user, your donations are much appreciated. Thankyou.

Catching up so posting from the past but bravo! Can I suggest you do a kickstarter for these maverick recipes, should only take you multiple years.

The del monte pineapple chunks reminds me though, have we seen a single other recipe from them? Or Linda McCartney for that matter?

Our favourite semi vegan pescatarian bodybuilder is of course having chicken and bistro gravy for dinner I note with absolutely zero surprise.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

I got this after the feral bit:

Regarding your other concerns about the interviewee, that is not something the readers' editor's office deals with - our job is to consider corrections and clarifications. If there are particular things in the article that you believe to be incorrect, please provide further detail and we can look into them.

The bit that says she doesn't look after herself? As far as I can tell, most all she does is look after herself through her massive grift.

(no, I know that's not what they meant).

 

[Lanie]

Ooh shark eyes, youre doomed CL, quick send dogs and cats or a pic of you pretending to sleep( that of course you have set up yourself) that will divert it.

 

[Blurp]

This current drama feels very much like season 8 of a US political series where there’s too many characters and not enough plot.

Us old timers may remember Soap.

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Her descriptions are shocking

 

[Flash123]

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Of course she over cooked it

 

[KindaWeird]

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Grifty McGrift would be a good name!

Oh I was wondering, where does the "bird in traaaazers" thing come from?! I can't have been paying enough attention to Jack at the time!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Gildinwen-TKB]

*How* is it 6 minutes?! Did she not steam the rice first? Is this possible? Disclaimer: back in my student days, I tried to make fried rice with raw rice. It was ... extremely crunchy. In my defence, there was no internet then and thus no way to yell TWITTER HOW DO YOU FRY RICE PLEASE RT FOR WIDER REACH THANKYOU. I had only my own resources, which were apparently lacking.

The only way it could be "6 mins" is if she had made the rice in advance. A cursory google shows me that most Curry rice recipes take 20-30 mins

The only way it could be "6 mins" is if she had made the rice in advance. A cursory google shows me that most Curry rice recipes take 20-30 mins

Quoting myself here but case in point, the curry rice recipe *says* it only takes 12 mins, but when you get to the ingrediants, it says "stale, already cooked rice from the fridge" Curry Fried Rice Recipe (Japanese-style Curry Chahan) (norecipes.com)

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Themaninblack]

Lactose intolerant

Fortunately (since you can never have too much cheese on your quesadilla) Asda do sell lactose free cheese. Unfortunately it isn't part of the Smart Price range.

ETA: Another Hendo's fan with Long Sheffield here.