Jack Monroe #133 Neither a celebrity or a chef

[Alansbigplate]

If only his name was Dan

 

[colouredlines]

Abel and Cole?! Piss off! Who on earth simultaneously needs to do a weekly shop on a £5 budget, and has an Abel and Cole delivery?! Just piss off

It's full of these discrepancies. A week after The Sale, she's baking a cake in a silicon dish (but she sold everything! And she never turns the oven on!). She moves to a cheaper flat and immediately rushes out to buy aubergine and orange paint (mmm tasteful...) while living on 10£ a week. Even then her bloody cheap trips to the shop are supplemented by finding entire heads of broccoli in the fridge. She had 2 cats at the time, who are mentioned in passing and never in a poverty context... (cat food, litter etc magically appears I guess)

One thing stands out: she was DESPERATE for fame. She was constantly gloating about her letters being published in the Southend Echo. In one early entry she met Ed Miliband and creamed her pants all over the shop. And of course random men shake her hand in the supermarket for her inspirational blogging etc.

The story is also full of holes. Apparently the debts etc started after she briefly got a job in a pub in March 2012, which caused a problem with her benefits. But she turned her heating off in November 2011, after quitting the fire service? Nothing makes sense. Not then, not now, never.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Another genuine Twitter account in response to Laura's, "How do you say... butter?" comment last night

 

[Incywincy]

I am still a couple of threads behind. A few points

- LOL at Mary Poppins
- the ghost in the mirror is 100% a photo next to a reed diffuser (thought it was of Louisa at first but perhaps not)
- how hypocritical of JM to ask Marina to pull some chains and demand that media speak to HER for ££££ hours after furiously questioning who was making money out of all of this!
- what is wrong with her
- why is she like this
- LOL at Mary Poppins

Spoiler: Open for a surprise

Spoiler: Miss you guys xoxox

 

[Flumps]

Her new clown emoji habit can fuck off as quickly as it arrived please and thank(space)you. How can someone be so annoying even in their emoji use?

 

[HarderFaster]

 

[Emmapism]

Well, if she can have all of those jobs in one year and still only scrape her rent each month, something must be going on. I wouldn't speculate though.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Nottonightbabe]

View attachment 387978

September 2012 - 10 months into The Poverty.

Those Abel and Cole vegetables must have an epic shelf life.

Abel and Cole?! Piss off! Who on earth simultaneously needs to do a weekly shop on a £5 budget, and has an Abel and Cole delivery?! Just piss off

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Snigger.....

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Firstly strongly suspect roadside mum is savvy enough to have the measure of her and it’s a case of keeping your enemies close. Jack is clearly shooketh at the idea of an actual marginalised person getting HER media work so RM ought to be careful with any guidance / mentorship (lol) offered by Jack. Also v interesting that none of Jack’s big money corporate sponsors do repeat work with her, it’s as if they’re measuring results? Or just have eyes and ears?

Also re rent bounce, remember when they stormed Gadaffi’s mansion and found all that opulence? Jack’s landlady on eviction day with the 2 door £3k Smeg:

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

One of the recent former Mr Jacks was a city boy, and I didn’t quite fit into the Made In Chelsea circle of women that flitted about like glamorous bluebottles. I’ll always remember one particular occasion, when a woman asked me what I did for a living. ‘I’m currently unemployed’, I said, to a now-silent table. All the listing of my previous employment didn’t save me; in the little black dress and champagne cocktail set, I was scummy single mummy, feeling as though I was only there for the novelty value. “Ooh, it’s a real live benefit claimant!” I imagined the ripple of fascination shooting around the table, and definitely caught a few looks and raised eyebrows, as conversation suddenly turned to the fact that ‘only people who pay tax should actually be allowed to vote.’

Probably the original iteration of the Dinner Party of Shame anecdote.

I know these terms are subjective but city boys and MIC girls aren’t a natural pairing?

Also wasn’t she like 22 at this point? Who the fuck went to or hosted black dress / cocktail events at that age? This whole thing reads like teenage fanfic.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Not being included in that letter has to be a major embarrassment for her, surely?

It’s been a mortifying 24 hours tbh. I’m sure her signature was left off for the greater political good tho, no comrades allowed obvs

So far:

Cancelled on left Twitter (a lot of conversation has happened around her she’s not picked up on there, too so even worse than the ABUSE she thinks she got )
Journos, publishers, etc liking shady tweets
Still no follow from Marcus
Sharing an automated reply to prove a friendship with JC
Offending the Jewish community
Very obviously pushing RM to the sidelines (also not unnoticed on Twitter )
Becoming a dancing monkey to a troll and admitting she’s MC
This letter *chefs kiss*
??? Anything else

 

[Limey]

Jack seems to be missing from the signatories of this important letter, but she has been far too busy screaming LOOK AT MEEEEEEE on Twitter

 

[Limey]

Meanwhile, MR is encouraging people to read widely, and sharing things which have inspired him. Spot the difference - he has such dignity and class.

 

[SoulRebel]

I really hope she doesn't use the experiences of Travellers as her latest bandwagon. You know, digging out a distant relative as one. I wouldn't put it past her tbh.

But that's exactly what Jack is trying to do. She is positioning herself as the voice of poverty on the shoulders of a black 23 year old man from an impoverished background and a travelling community woman who needs food for her children. Why the fuck no one else is offended by this (looking at you, Good Morning TV) is beyond me

 

[hydeist]

It never ceases to confuse me why, when Jack spends so much time moaning about how she has no money and no fowever home uwu, that none of the squiggles would ever just think "get a job"? Literally GET A FUCKING JOB. If your "media career" has you working 42 hour days for so little pay you can't make rent and live on maize snacks, GET A FUCKING JOB.

Her "£23k" is more than I make working full time and I'm not behind on the rent (and also just ordered myself the new Xbox ) so even if that were truly her income, she isn't poor - she can't fucking manage her money. I have no idea why the squigs and blue-tickers can see someone moaning all fucking day about being skint and never question why when every other post is sponsored/full of luxury goods/her talking about having so many media opportunities/writing books 19+20+21+22.

If any other normal random person took to Twitter to moan about being skint on 23k they'd get told to manage their money better or get a better job or move to a cheaper area. When Jack does it she's the fucking people's povvo princess, surviving on scraps and championing the poor. Considering that her idea of poor people cooking involves 6 slow cookers and recipes that take hours, you can't half tell she's barely done a day's work in her life when she thinks people have the time for this shit.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Like a young Dot Cotton

(off topic, but will take any opportunity to share this, one of the best photos ever)

 

[jenny2603]

thats one of the more authentic posts from her. And I believe it as it is clear that her mum is from a unionist background from NI...quite possibly her parents may have met if he was stationed over here. I think she should own it and the reality that corbyn makes her uncomfortable because of his views on Northern Ireland (I don’t want to derail this as we are all coming from different viewpoints on what corbyn’s views are/aren’t on this)
However I think that coming from a similar background in NI (without any Mediterranean arse genes) I think this is probably more of what she actually believes.

I think now she is just latching on to whatever seems to be the “right side” and not what she actually believes.

Yes, I think she's quite strongly unionist and small c conservative. To me the way she talks up her tattoos, single mother status, sexual orientation and daft chaotic behaviour show how conservative she really is. Yes there are bigots and arseholes out there but she acts as if the average person is looking at her in horror "Tattoos on a LADY!", "a child OUT OF WEDLOCK!" "she goes with women- I've never heard the like". Tattoos haven't been remotely shocking for decades and I think it's only a minority of children that are born to married parents. As someone old enough to remember the 80s, things are far from perfect but they're better than they were. The fact is most people won't find those things even remotely daring. FFS Her nemesis David Cameron has a tattooed wife. She's quite obviously not at all comfortable with who she is- maybe that has it's roots in attitudes within the family. Politically speaking I don't think she really believes in much beyond her inherited viewpoints, it's more fashionable to be on the left so that's where she sits her problem is picking the most acceptable section of the left to sit with.

 

[Veronicaaa]

STOP FEELING SORRY FOR HER EVERYONE