Jack Monroe #129 Jack, could we have a quick chat?

[Sideboard Bob]

She‘s “liked“ this tweet. I’m saying nothing

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

What the actual fuck is wrong with her? She’s clearly eluding to some sort of rough upbringing doing road / cunch with that knife story? With a scalpel lol.

It seriously pisses me off, knife crime is such a huge youth issue and there will be thousands of young boys (and girls) with actual PTSD & passing trauma between generations as a result of how bad the gov has allowed it to get. And add in the highly racialised portrayal of it in media too. And add in the expulsion to prison pipeline that disproportionately affects young black boys. But for her it’s a quirky little tale about what a little cheeky maverick she is? Is there a single lived experience this beast won’t co opt? Horrific

This is actually quite triggering as I used to live in a deprived area where this was a real issue (my choice, to save for our forever home) so saw a lot of horrible stuff I won’t detail. I have no fucking idea as a mere bystander so she certainly doesn’t. Daddy probably drove them through Dagenham once to collect rent arrears from his peasants?

ETA - I didn’t live in Dag if she’s adding that to my triangulation file but I think she’s mentioned it when remembering her super WC childhood, think uncle has a wimpy there?

 

[BlendedSlop]

Going back to a topic from a few pages ago (I do so love Jack time), if the vacation of the shitty bungalow is indeed on the horizon she will 100% seek to blame Tattle for her having to move for the 20th/22nd/83rd time. She won't actually name the site because she'll be shit-scared of more of her followers coming here for a nose and having their eyes opened. I remember before I came here to see what all the fuss was about she'd been claiming that people here were reporting her to social services, trying to get DKL cancelled, sending abuse to her employers, accusing her of being on heroin and all sorts of other vile stuff. And having followed her for quite a while but not closely enough to see what she was really like (I'd always known she could be a bit of a tit but still thought her heart was in the right place and that she was "on the side of good" after the Hopkins trial), I thought "These people sound terrible, who would want to pick on someone who's essentially harmless like Jack?" When you're not seeing everything she tweets/deletes, all the inconsistencies, the constant drama, the need to centre herself in everything, and simply take what she says at face value (because why wouldn't you, when you think someone's fundamentally an honest person), it's so easy to buy into her narrative that she's just a poor little urchin being picked apart by jealous bullies for wanting to help people.

When I made it here to see for myself what was being said (alarm bells had been ringing when I cast my mind back to things she'd claimed in the past that didn't quite add up) I saw that nobody here was doing what she'd been accusing them of - they were just keeping receipts and holding her to account for her own words. And she doesn't like that one bit, but while she'll always use this place as a convenient scapegoat for whatever ill fortune befalls her, she can't risk people actually coming here and making up their own minds, because that would mean losing control over the narrative.

 

[Emmapism]

Jack: Posts an ad for huge veggie brand Linda McCartney

Also Jack: 'I'M nOT eNTitLEd tO SEiSs, wHEre'S mY SupPoRT #ExCLudEDUk'

 

[colouredlines]

I love Forensic Political Analyst Jack (who lives in a world in which the only countries are the UK and USA). Le Pen Sr reached the 2nd round of the French presidential election 19 years ago, the rise of the far right is not that recent, and should be viewed in a bigger context.

THANKYOUGOD that we never had to deal with "I'm Jack Monroe, and I would have been top of the Nazis' hitlist for being a tattooed vegan non-binary single mum accidental conqueror of my own fears and hashtag founder. Now I'm the first tourist ever to come to Auschwitz, and I'm here to ask the question...where's MY support, Rishi Sunak?"

Because we all know that her Holocaust fact-finding trip would put Jack Monroe front and centre. It would be even worse than Tanzania.

 

[LavaFlake]

Guys I always breathe in and out of my lungs. Is that an ADHD thing? Just checking x

 

[queenfeline]

Fascinating comment, have wondered if this might be the case for monroe - that she just doesn't know anymore. Is it okay to ask; what did it feel like at the time, mid-lie? what would you say if you were caught telling a lie/did it come as a shock seeing as you believed it to be true? Does it feel weird now looking back on it? and how did you break the habit? Thanks...

Fine to ask, but it's honestly hard to remember concrete thought processes from back then. I used to watch a lot of soaps as a teen and also generally had an overactive imagination so I felt things so deeply, I sort of embodied whatever story I wanted to spin/narrative I wanted to tell. Sometimes being caught in an outright lie was a shock to the system but mostly I'd just deflect or double down. I still do it sometimes, where I retell a lie that I've told myself/others for years and only realise later that it was constructed/not the truth. I think the important thing was that a lot of my lies were always based in half-truths which is why I wonder if monroe bases some of their lies off of things happening to kids their parents fostered (like maybe a foster was expelled). Also, tons and tons of therapy went into this, but honestly, I had SO much trouble locating good ones because so many did not want to deal with an outright lying patient/didn't know how to handle it. And it took me realising I didn't remember the truth about anything in my life to want to figure out what was wrong. I am sure there are people who never come to that realisation because it involves self-awareness on the scale they literally may be incapable of.

Sorry for the long response!

 

[Oofadoofa]

keep thinking about the fact that she used 'ceremoniously' when she meant to say 'unceremoniously', and that she considers herself a writer and a wordsmith and just find it hilarious. - when she does make such a mistake whilst going off on these evening fantasy trips though, (expelled, teaching and nazi dinner all in one night) you do have to wonder if she's hit the bottle or has gotten carried away with the happy pills again..

 

[Sentient mirror]

Hey Jack! This is how you should sock account on twitter

 

[I’MBUSY!]

With this, she has actually excelled herself. Because the rules around expelling someone from school and removing a President in a democratic country are roughly equivalent, right?

Amazing amazing amazing how much of the world she can only see through the prism of Jack Bloody Monroe.

Edit: and “you all”? Are you cosplaying being a Southern Belle, in addition to being Irish/Greek Cypriot/or even actually poor? Get to absolute fuck, you grifting great bellend.

 

[Hollaaa]

Making up for not going to sixth form by having sixth former takes on everything for ever.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Cor, that was quite the grunk to start my day!
I’m only up to breakfast which is cornflakes with soya milk. Stay tuned for more

congratulations to @Ladderedtights on baby tights with smol toes and feets

So, she’s invented a hashtag. I used to work for an organisation which lobbied and campaigned (told you-) so when there is an issue to change and campaign for, there is a load of boring old planning and researching that goes into it. Key individuals, supporters, grass roots supporters, fundraising, press packs, MP briefing packs. The social media campaign is the easy bit when you launch.
I’m sure the organizations she has piggybacked have already done some of this background (I really hope so) but let’s face it, what is the “ask” of the #ThunderingIdiotHashtag?
- Could the ask be written up as a change.org petition to seek debate in parliament?
- Could the ask be costed?
- MP replied to tweet/email and asks what you are proposing, how do you reply?

What Jack has done is the equivalent of invented a hilarious name for a shop and she thinks she’s Theo Paphitis.
She’s opening a hair salon called British Hairways except she’s not a hairdresser, she hasn’t rented a shop and she’s never ran a business.
Virtue signaling on a grand scale. And just look at how happy it’s made her.

 

[Captainmouse]

Oct 2020

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How do you have hot buttery toast, with no butter?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

She stole a scalpel?

What happens there is that the teacher absolutely freaks out. They count and recount. They go through the class list. They check the locked risk items procedure. They try to stop their heart bursting from terror and panic. And then they have to tell their line manager/SLT, knowing that this is very possibly the end of their teaching career. Every child who is known to be a little explosive is looked at in terms of whether they had access to them. The teacher probably goes home and doesn't sleep, tortured by what is going to happen to them and what might happen to another child or a member of staff. Everybody's on edge, any disagreements on site are jumped on because nobody knows if they're going to end up with a kid or colleague having her face or neck slashed or stabbed in the heart/leg/brachial artery; a scalpel is easily long enough to murder somebody - and without realising the seriousness of the wound until they collapse and die. Whoever is responsible for detention or isolation has to consider the possibility that one of the children is carrying an absolutely brutal weapon. Because there is one out there somewhere. The teacher has to contact their union to say what has happened and the union will say that if something happens, it's very possible that this will end up in their dismissal unless they can prove it wasn't their fault - which is very hard to do if they were not counted out and counted back in. The Art/Science/DT teacher probably lost their entire career for it, as no other school will take them on after that - and what teacher can walk into a job outside a classroom after 30 years, saying 'I was fired for failing safeguarding procedures'?


I've had colleagues - friends - fired for exactly this. In both cases, the kids concerned were permanently expelled and didn't get to take any exams. An innocent child on the receiving end of one also left school and didn't take any exams because of the danger/trauma/aftermath of it happening. Every single child ever found with a weapon on site in my career has been removed permanently from school. Even back in the dark ages when I was a teenager and got stabbed in school, the girl who did it was permanently removed.


No wonder they fucking banned her from the site (they didn't expel her, or she wouldn't have been able to go back in and take any exams). She should count herself lucky that they let her do that - they could have called the police, who would have taken it utterly seriously as she was in possession of an offensive weapon and even all these years later, it would still result in permanent removal from school without the slightest bit of recourse to the Governors. As it was, they probably said that in view of the risk carrying a weapon involves, nobody was prepared to teach her and it was best that she stay at home. Rather than getting the girl from the Good Family a criminal record. Shame, really - this meant that somebody not psychologically equipped to take fire service emergency calls was employed when they should have instantly failed all checks.



When her child goes to secondary school next year, will she be happy to think that he could be in a class where somebody has stolen a scalpel? 'Oh, they must have been dared to do it, just a joke, or it must be for SH, nothing to worry about'? That kid sitting behind him, the one that knows all about his mother and for various reasons, such as horrible parents, trauma, MH issues, doesn't like SB? He's sitting behind SB thinking how much he dislikes the poor kid. Guess what, Jack - he's stolen a scalpel. It's in his pocket and there's only a short time until the end of class when they're all crammed up against one another in the corridor. Still OK with it?




She is a cunt now and, it would appear if this story is true, an absolute danger to everybody else in school as a kid. But hey, funny story, right?

As a former teacher who this could have happened to () and who taught in a subject where accidents regularly could have occurred, your post is bang on.

If anything happens like this in schools, when I mentioned the safeguarding procedures, EVERYTHING would be covered.... teachers, parents, peers, and teachers again as to why this scalpel was stolen and what allowed it to be stolen.

Even now I am getting stressed about all the near misses that occurred in my career.

She is dangerous.

ETA and fuck off to teaching being your fucking plan b. I gave it my all and it has ruined me .

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

I'm still on a mini-grunk so forgive me if someone else has already mentioned it, but:

"Thank you for contacting us with your complaint about Del Monte Europe Ltd in association with Jack Monroe’s advertising.

We’ve assessed the ad you highlighted and, from the information we have, we think it likely to have breached the Advertising Codes (“the Codes”) that we administer. We are writing to let you know that we have taken steps to address this."

And if that wasn’t enough...

 

[Vanilla Sorbet]

I have a theory that Jack steals stories from people she knows and attributes them to her life. We have a family friend that does this. Well, she's the wife of a family friend. She is an illness collector/munchie and just lies about everything and anything.

We once told her a story about when my uncle met Michael Jackson in the 80s and I shit you not about 2 years later she told this same story back to us but said it was her and her sister! We were all speechless that she just hit out with it so candidly.

I believe Jack may do the same thing, she will be told a story and then change bits to suit her so she always has a quirky, interesting story to tell or a justification for her actions.

 

[waffle maker]

Does she even know what she sounds like? It’s absolutely fucking terrible when a kid gets caught with a knife or weapon in a school. It is very frightening for teachers and very low paid support staff, even if it turns out the kid has a stupid butter knife, Swiss army effort, pellet gun etc etc. (all have happened at schools I’ve worked at )

Why is she acting like the scalpel stealing is a hilarious jape dare? 911 highjackers used box cutters which are very like scalpels.

 

[Emlo]

Oops guys. Just checked my payslips and I actually haven’t been charged for parking at my NHS trust since March of last year! I knew they had suspended charges in the first lockdown but didn’t realise it had continued throughout. Didn’t even need a Twitter campaign.

Sorry back to Jack, just didn’t want my misinformation to stand! 🤍

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

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Oh my god, is she actually doing an Oscars acceptance speech for a hashtag?

I know we sometimes say that we moan when she's not doing anything so it's not fair to moan when she is, but I find 'doing stuff' Monroe absolutely insufferable.

 

[MancBee]

Another deletion but who can be arsed with it all.

Her suggestion that the rise of the far right had passed these people by, people that work in the news and journalism, is laughable. It has been reported on since the late 80's.

Her chip on her shoulder about her lack of educational achievement is so big, she must have to stand at an angle to balance it out. Why does she not do anything about it, if it bothers her so much? I know of many, many, people, that chose to return to education after their children went to school.

My best friend left school at 16 to be a hairdresser, left her job when she had kids in her 30s. She left school with no qualifications at all, not a one, not even a single GCSE. She returned to education after her kids started school and finally finished university with a degree last year at the age of 50. I am so proud of her, as are her children. She did this while working to support her family. Then Jack gets an honourary doctorate without any work, and actually calls herself doctor! It is an insult.

Education doesn't have to end because you flunk a few GCSEs, lifelong learning is a thing. She just doesn't have the drive or determination to actually do the work needed to obtain qualifications. It is why her idea of becoming a teacher and working in a PRU is just all pie in the sky talk. Jack is just so lazy.