Jack Monroe #128 Just eat the custard

[Silver Linings]

So don’t mention her at all! Duh.

 

[Flash123]

She just told twitted that SB’s dad has a child in hospital. Who does she think she is

 

[Chocolate Buttons]

Hi all,

Well tonight's absolute bullshit has caused me to delurk. Just have to echo everyone's sentiments about JM working herself to the bone.

My sister is a Primary Head and she told me last night she's just done the hardest two days of her career. The new term has only just started and she's already at her absolute wits end trying to hold it all together for everyone. Everyone from all walks of life are struggling so much at the moment but of course JM has it worse. She is a vacuous nonentity chancer and I can't believe more people don't see it

 

[jenny2603]

Imagine if he got confused, panicked, then sent doggos.

He can't be anywhere near as confused as I am by things.

1. Jack has been turned down for financial support from the government. This is bad because she needs the money because she's somehow lost a fortune having her busiest year ever.
2. Jack does not need financial support but emotional, physical and mental support. Like some disturbed celeb stalker she's taken it into her head that Chancellor Rish Mate might be able to help. How is unclear, perhaps a government backed "Slop up to Stay In" scheme featuring Jack's recipes? We just don't know.
3. She will not be discussing her housemates finances with impertinent squiggles.
4. There is no housemate. There was but now there isn't. BB has vanished like a Brexit Tin in the night.
5. Jack grifted a squiggle then Jack got grifted by a squiggle and I have never felt so alive.
6. No glove pigeons today so that's something.

 

[colouredlines]

TBH all I want today is for Rishi Sunak to tweet complaining that he's been waiting 3 months for his first weekly set of beige recipe cards...

 

[discolisa]

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I'm sorry but if you're that upset you're not in the headspace to take a selfie, then upload it with a comment aaaaaaaa she's intolerable

 

[MancBee]

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"otherwise I would own my own house and not be killing myself working to my bones"
Don't most people work hard to pay their rent if they don't own their houses? It just shows the level of her understanding about owning a house, and what that entails. She really does come across as a bit thick.

Here's a tip that may make you realise your aim of home ownership quicker. Rent a smaller property that is more suitable for a single mum of one, rent and associated bills will be less expensive. Put the money aside that you have saved by renting a cheaper property. Get a mortgage like most people that buy a home.

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Who the fuck takes a pretend sad selfie like that then actually posts it?

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Mel Donte.
The Express.
GQ.

She’s not skint, she’s a fraud.

 

[Silver Linings]

I scare myself with how well I know her sometimes.

 

[Satisfying Click]

This is aspirational living, people! To pull oneself up by the bootstraps and go from this:

to this!

 

[Silver Linings]

Yeah, you tell them. Bloody plebs, not understanding book contracts.

 

[Boogs]

Has she really just put up a fake distressed photo on Twitter? YOU ARE A MUM IN YOUR 30S NOT A TEENAGER NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU MAY ACT LIKE ONE!!!

She is seriously boiling my piss tonight. The last year hasn’t been fantastic for me and I’ve struggled at times but I’m aware that many other people have had and are having a much harder time than me and I recognise the things that I need to be grateful for.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Need doggo pictures of this little shit. He sounds bloody gorgeous.

Brought three frozen turds in the house last night.
I kicked them.
We're not talking at the moment.

 

[Silver Linings]

More private info spaffed out into the world. I never thought i’d say it but I feel sorry for Rishi Sunak, trying to be a proper minister and being copied into this rubbish. Also THERE IS NO CHILDCARE BUBBLE.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I just wanted to celebrate the return of Bodybuilding Jack (show us your guns, Jack) but she's only gone and done another bloody chaos. I long for the simpler times of 4 hours and 45 minutes ago.

That crying selfie is excruciating, unprecedented levels of cringe. I cringed myself tighter and tighter into an ever smaller ball until I breeched the cringe singularity and now I am stuck somewhere around 2005. Send help.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[colouredlines]

Maybe she shouldn't have spent her last royalty cheque buying Lion bars for internet strangers? #JustAThought

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

The 'affect' is not quite right in the crying selfie is it?
This is a thing I do have a problem seeing in other people. So you'd be really helping me out here.
But it's not right here is it?

The way she’s looking at the camera reminds me of that moment when your toddler is at the beginning stage of a tantrum - when they start to cry then look at you to see if they’re getting the reaction they want.

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

Correct me if I am wrong, but has she posted a link to that photo so it is at the top of her feed again?

Why?
You cry?
I ask myself
I cry
I die

I reckon she's trying to go viral or get picked up in the press. "Jack Monroe's tearful plea to Rishi Sunak to help those on the edge"

In a way it would be nice if it did get picked up as a journalist could perhaps ask questions about the amount of work she got. Even better if an interview in the Express

"From her RENTED home in the refines of Thorpe Bay, Jack speaks to me from her Cotswolds sideboard laden office about how hard it is to keep having to look for luxury goods in puddles while also trying to grift on Twitter and mention Del Monte fruit regularly.
'Once lockdown happened again and I had longish Covid, going on walks to find scarves in puddles has been all but impossible. I used to shop twice on Sundays for reduced mushrooms but now my fungus dreams are just literal dust in the jar' she tearfully confides.