Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false

[FlorenceFlutterbucket]

I always have lard in for fry-ups and, bizarrely, pancakes.

Ooo I used to love an egg fried in lard. Haven’t had it for years. Maybe tomorrow just to get me through the last home school day .......

 

[Captainmouse]

Finally I am getting into the festive mood!
What are we all doing at Christmas? Locking ourselves in the bathroom, possibly at the in-laws, to sing Pie Jesu in a Coven zoom conference? Only that we would not be able to sing bc of...laughter.

If only, funnily enough singing is one thing I have missed this year and no carol concerts

 

[Sentient mirror]

I've got a few pages to catch up, but I wanted the share this photo of the angel from the top of our tree. She fell off the tree today and both her arms broke off in bits. I've glued/sellotaped them back on, but instead of praying, she now looks like she's doing a slow, sarcastic handclap and she is totally a Frau! OMG, she's lost a bit of eye too
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It's Sallie Axl! Whoops wrong thread...

 

[Boyo]

The Veganuary people will not be happy that she is doing Veganuary.
They have pretty much erased her from history...

There’s no issue cos we all know she won’t be.

 

[Oofadoofa]

Has the interview with Marcus Rashford's Mum been mentioned already? - interesting..

 

[Pocahontas]

sorry am only an occasional visitor to this thread now - is she back with louisa??

Louise is/was her bubble buddy.

 

[Marj24]

so true. Every single part of the meal is ruined.


Her cake is missing so many things that would make it nice.
See also yucky fingers, and her boasting that she burned it and covered the burns in sugar. This is her job!

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Jack's veiny claws look like they belong to a septuaginarian

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I love to mop gravy up with bread, it's my guilty pleasure. When I visit my partner's (upper) middle class parents, it's all I can do to stop myself nipping to the kitchen mid meal for a slice. I could just imagine their faces.

It's the bread or licking the plate!

 

[Schnorbitz]

Chinese wholesaler style shops do pretty good prawns!

True, I get them from a place online called Wai Yee Hong which is in Bristol I think, I’ve used them loads over lockdown and they’re great, they even come in little prawny shapes and you can use them in paella etc. too.

 

[Squandaaaaa]

Only veggie rather than vegan but I will marry/shag/worship/whatever they want the person who comes up a decent faux prawn cocktail. There's not really much other meat I miss but that does cause me to have impure thoughts.

Chinese wholesaler style shops do pretty good prawns!

 

[Bwidge]

I use lard for pastry and for my Yorkshire pudding tin. Always have. Couldn’t smother it on everything and anything though

I always have lard in for fry-ups and, bizarrely, pancakes.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Captainmouse]

Many pages behind, but surely this is rice pudding? After Southend constabulary have cracked our case of the century they’re gonna have to look for the missing person in this dish - where the fuck are the prawns?!

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Looool someone beat me to it! X

What’s the green stuff? Veg peelings?

 

[Narc ahoy]

Cabal, what does lard actually taste like? I have never consumed it, and only heard of it used in reference to bad things. I didn't know anyone seriously ate it this century.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Why does she always say "canned" instead of "tinned" ? I've never known anyone call products "canned" weird.

Think our American Fraus might do.

 

[Narc ahoy]

This made me laugh out loud!!



And this made me run for the bathroom



Does anyone else think the way Louisa worded her tweet was strange? She didn't say she tested positive or that she had corona. She simply said "a positive corona test result".

Maybe Louisa isn't positive. Jack may or may not be. Maybe it's SB since the story started with him/his teacher. So Louisa is just saying "oh great, sharing a house with corona. Happy Birthday to me", kinda..

Yes, I get the impression that Louisa has had a positive test but does not have symptoms, at least not currently. Lots of people are asymptomatic. Also, some tests are false positives.

 

[maytoseptember]

Sorry to be a Jack apologist (again) but there was a very brief period in the 90s when they brought Lucky Charms out in the UK. They weren’t cheap but it wasn’t like, £8 a box like you see in American Candy shops etc.

I know this because I pestered my mum to buy some for about three solid months after the tv adverts (I even still remember the song) and when she finally relented they were absolutely mingin and I didn’t eat more than half a bowl. She was FEWMIN.

I’m a year older than Jack so it’s probably stuck in the minds of 5-7 year olds who were slightly fixated on Americana.

Regardless, she’s still middle class and still a cunt.

Yes! I remember the advert and the jingle too!

 

[Eurgh]

Under no circumstances buy the Sophie’s Kitchen vegan prawns. They were reduced to 50p a bag in Sainsbury’s so I bought four. They resemble a less edible elastic band.

The Fry’s tempura prawns are dirty and delicious. Don’t remember the taste of actual prawns though so I can’t vouch for their accuracy!

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

The joke implies that her relatives can't possibly be British, as you can't deport British people. I have no clue about Priti Patel's family situation, but I suspect, like her, they are British.

It's def BNP playbook to suggest that anyone who doesn't look like Hugh Grant or Lily Cole can't be British.

I'd have made that joke about Teresa May when she was Home Secretary - or David Blunkett.

 

[ScamSandwich]

I disagree, Harry. I think British people wield their famed sense of humour like a shield and we (yes) absolutely need calling out when we’re being unfunny, offensive arseholes.

ich liebe dich.

ETA - In case it wasn’t clear I meant I disagree you should keep quiet!

but but but ultimately we, non-Brits like Harry and I, are here for the British humour.

Dared to make an assumption that this statement is true for @Harrybosch , hence the "we".