Still waiting for a response to my question below:
Its women like us who are fighting to protect women like you from further trauma! The trans lobby have vilified lesbians and argued that they are inhumane for not sleeping with trans women. You say you wouldn't be able to sleep with a teams woman, surely you can understand the anger from lesbians who are being told they are homophobic for rejecting pen? And just like you don't want to sleep with a trans woman due to previous trauma, I don't want to share toilet with a trans woman due to previous trauma. Why is your trauma valid and mine bigotry?
Please do not say it's women like you who are "fighting to protect" women like me. That is insulting and such an odd thing to say to someone with trauma. I stood up and fought against my abusers, thank you.
As for your own experience - I am sorry you went through what you went through. That is your own personal experience and if you do not feel comfortable sharing a bathroom with someone who has a
pen, that is completely understandable! You have to do what's right for your own comfort. To be honest, I am comfortable enough to admit that I do not know the solution around circumstances like this where past trauma makes other women fearful of this. However, my problem is the idea that trans women, generally, are a threat or a harm for entering public bathrooms. I have never seen another person's genitals while using a public bathroom, which would mean that I could have been peeing in a cubicle right next to someone with a
pen, and I would never know. And I see no issue with that. They did their business and they left. We don't know the genitals of every person entering a bathroom, and quite frankly, I don't care as long as everyone is minding their own business and going in there to do what a bathroom is intended for.
If someone wants to
grape a woman, they are going to do so almost always regardless of the setting or context. Allowing trans women to use the bathroom which matches their gender is not going to make men think differently or make them dress up in order to "trick" people. One person's doings do not speak for the entire community, especially given that anyone who would take advantage of a situation like that more likely than not is not in fact trans.
grape does not discriminate; it does not care where you are, as I've sadly realised, but using that as your main reason for why trans women should not be allowed in women's bathrooms is harmful, assumptious, and is no better than the stigma that all gay men are predators. I can absolutely see your dilemma in regards to your trauma; I empathise with it a lot, and I wish I had a solution because my ideal scenario is that everyone is comfortable - which I know is too fantastical. But my problem lies with people who are using their bigotry towards trans people in general (bigotry that goes beyond just the bathroom discourse) to paint them as being inherently predatory or lesser because of their genitalia or transness.
My trauma does not stop me from having trans women friends. I have been approached by trans women and if I do not like them, I simply say thank you but I'm not interested, as I would with any other woman - trans or cis - who approach me, or any man for that matter. I don't doubt people have faced issues with rejecting someone, but that still isn't a reason to spew hatred at an entire community, when that is a problem that occurs in all walks of life.
Hasn't been easy at all. Holy 
