In the last thread there were some posters uncomfortable with some of us 'diagnosing' AE, which I totally get, just my two cents worth.
It's not done out of a sense of knowing it all, more that there are a lot of us here who have personal experiences & we can't ignore certain behavioural traits which are intimately recognised. Altho' my experiences, whilst traumatic & scarring, are nowhere near as bad as most of the brave souls here who have shared their stories of survival.
I have personal experience of a Narc, (thankfully relatively short lived) being able to work out who this person was (after the fact) was illuminating. It didn't take away the huge damage/pain caused to me, but it was like finding the missing jigsaw piece. All boxes ticked. As it is with AE. Which is why I personally have no qualms about calling her a Narc. Altho' seeing the quotes from other posters about HPD/ASPD symptoms, AE certainly ticks a lot of boxes there too, but I assume someone is capable of having several PD's? (I don't think she's a psycho or a malignant Narc but IMO she
is a Narc.)
I experienced childhood emotional abuse (albeit unlike AE, it wasn't done deliberately) this created a co-dependency & my having to grow up way too fast in a loving but very dysfunctional unhealthy relationship which went on for way more years than I care to divulge. It's why I have such huge sympathy/empathy for the girls & the potential future problems they could face & big E in particular, as I know how very hard it can be to break away but what makes their situation a million times worse than mine is their 'mother' is a Narc who only ever truly cares about herself.
Because of my personal experiences I also have a lot of sympathy/empathy for IG as I know how it feels to keep trying for years, all while being abused, (mine wasn't in a nasty way but it was abuse & took me many years to come to terms with) & I understand about keep hanging in day after day while total despair takes you over, you're emotionally/mentally exhausted, until one day you realise you have nothing left to give, you're running on empty & you are done. When you reach that hellish point a very difficult & painful decision has to be made. You or them? Like me, IG chose to save himself. He had to for his sake & for the girls. I also understand about going NC. Never an easy decision especially with family, but I went NC with my only sibling years ago as I finally realised after too many years of shit & being hurt over & over again that they would never change because they didn't see anything wrong with their behaviour.
So apologies to those who get tired of seeing some of us label AE a Narc. I do totally get why but it's more that having experienced X or Y or Z, it's kind of hard to not speak out!