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Maisie842
VIP Member
I'm really sorry, this must be so difficult for you.
He has been open and honest about it with you, and I think the only way to figure this out will be to have a serious conversation with him about it.
It sounds like from him opening up, that he might have wanted a conversation about it, and although I can imagine it's a really difficult one to have, it's one you need to have, for him and for you x
He has been open and honest about it with you, and I think the only way to figure this out will be to have a serious conversation with him about it.
It sounds like from him opening up, that he might have wanted a conversation about it, and although I can imagine it's a really difficult one to have, it's one you need to have, for him and for you x
If he doesn’t want you involved then I think that says it all really? He’s clearly not straight, maybe bisexual maybe gay, either way he’s asking to sleep with other people ? Sorry you are going through this but I think the answer is clear really I would say the relationship is over if he’s wanting sex without you involved. Also do not blame yourself for not wanting anal! Even if you’d done it I doubt the outcome would be any different as he seems to want that intimacy with a man anyway and you should never feel like you have to do anything just to please a partner! I hope you can find a way to be happy yourself as this is a horrible situation
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SkinkaareFan
VIP Member
I have a weird situation and I don't know what to do or say.
So my husband and I have been together 10 years, never been with anyone else and I thought he was 100% straight. A few nights ago we were talking and he said he wants to have a threesome with 2 of my swinger friends boyfriends? Not the women. Men.
I have no problem with anyone being gay or anything like that but it's come out of nowhere and now I don't know if he's gay or what?
I guess I'm just after some advice?
Also sorry if this is too sexual for Tattle, if that's the case then I'm sorry and admin please delete it. Thanks!
So my husband and I have been together 10 years, never been with anyone else and I thought he was 100% straight. A few nights ago we were talking and he said he wants to have a threesome with 2 of my swinger friends boyfriends? Not the women. Men.
I have no problem with anyone being gay or anything like that but it's come out of nowhere and now I don't know if he's gay or what?
I guess I'm just after some advice?
Also sorry if this is too sexual for Tattle, if that's the case then I'm sorry and admin please delete it. Thanks!
Suzesnooze
VIP Member
Do the swinger friends boyfriends have sex with men? Does he know them personally?
theghosttown
VIP Member
If I could be involved / watch then yes, 100000000%.
For it to go on behind closed doors, categorically no. I think I’m fairly open minded but they would be a bridge too far. The fact his friends are swingers is irrelevant, it’s essentially asking your permission to cheat.
One thing I will say is, you sound like you have a fantastic, communicative relationship. I don’t think many men would ask permission, whilst I don’t agree with it, I would appreciate the sentiment.
For it to go on behind closed doors, categorically no. I think I’m fairly open minded but they would be a bridge too far. The fact his friends are swingers is irrelevant, it’s essentially asking your permission to cheat.
One thing I will say is, you sound like you have a fantastic, communicative relationship. I don’t think many men would ask permission, whilst I don’t agree with it, I would appreciate the sentiment.
SkinkaareFan
VIP Member
I have no idea how he'd feel if it was the other way around. He makes jokes about me and other women so I think he'd want some part of it?
We were both each others first everything. Ive been thinking I made him marry me when he didn't want to? What if he went along with it to not hurt me?
I don't want to give up on us but at the same time I don't want to stop him doing what he wants just not cheating. It's confusing and frustrating all in one. If he's gay or wants to explore that then i absolutely don't want to stop that as its not fair for someone not able to be themselves but I don't want to accept cheating and don't think I should have to but at the same time I don't feel strong enough to let go.
Thank you for all you replies. I think in th next few days I will have to have a conversation with him and see where we're at and what he wants going forward but I dread to think this is the end of our marriage.
We were both each others first everything. Ive been thinking I made him marry me when he didn't want to? What if he went along with it to not hurt me?
I don't want to give up on us but at the same time I don't want to stop him doing what he wants just not cheating. It's confusing and frustrating all in one. If he's gay or wants to explore that then i absolutely don't want to stop that as its not fair for someone not able to be themselves but I don't want to accept cheating and don't think I should have to but at the same time I don't feel strong enough to let go.
Thank you for all you replies. I think in th next few days I will have to have a conversation with him and see where we're at and what he wants going forward but I dread to think this is the end of our marriage.
I'm sorry to hear this. I know that threesomones can cause problems in some cases and it's not something I've ever wanted or thought about. You're amazing because I don't think I'd cope with it all in any way!Slightly different but, thought I’d add this anyways. My ex partner always had a fantasy of having a threesome with him, me and another guy. I made this fantasy a reality for him as a birthday gift one year (whatever happened to socks and pants for your birthday) Anyways, it all went smoothly etc and I did enjoy it (other guy was hot) However, it opened a can of worms. He wanted it more and more and any time we had sex, all he fantasised about was me and other guys. It ruined our sex life. I got so bored of the same talk over and over, despite telling him to stop.
Fudgecakes
Well-known member
Would be want you to be there as well? Or just him and the two other men?