How do I tell my friend that her house is disgusting?

[DigiDuino]

(I hope this is ok to post with the images?)

My best friend of 15 years has always been a bit messy, but she moved out with her boyfriend a year ago and it's gotten WAY worse.

Due to me living far away now/COVID I'd never been to her new house properly, but I had went to visit her a couple of weeks ago since it's been so long. I'd even agreed to stay the night since her new place is a decent drive even from where I am at my parents.

I really cannot express how bad it was in words, the place stank. I don't normally wear shoes in any house but I had to because there was just bits of cat litter all over the floor! I'm not the cleanest person in the world but if someones coming to my house I do make sure it's tidy.

Forgive me for the bathroom picture but I feel like it says it all...





I don't want to just say something for no reason, but she's trying to organise the next time I'll go up I keep trying to say we can meet elsewhere for lunch or something but she is not having it. I really keep having to stop myself from saying it, what can I do? There's no way that I can go in that house again without it being power cleaned!

 

[DigiDuino]

I would just be honest. She obviously has shared the fact that she doesn’t like to be away from the house with you, you need to explain that you have anxiety about being in a house like that. At the end of the day if it’s affecting you that much that you feel like you need to come here and ask, even if she takes it badly it’s not really a loss. I’d just be completely honest if it were me. She’ll either take it badly or be understanding, I don’t see any other way around it

The away from the house thing has been an issue for a long time, she doesn't like being away from home at all with anyone unless it's for work. It's something we discuss often and not something we've had issues over, it never was a problem until she moved really.

True and the kind of person she is. I’m an extremely private person so wouldn’t take kindly to it.
I still think getting to the root of why the house is a mess is the way to go, rather than directly saying your house is a state. There’s obviously a reason things have got this bad.

I think you're right and I should just talk to her about it, feels like an in-person sort of subject?