petitspois
VIP Member
Let's remember that men do a worse job at chores so they don't do them again!
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Twinkle485
Well-known member
My oh does sod all.
He may cook now and again. He wouldn’t know how to wipe his own arse if I didn’t pass him the loo roll.
I’ve made my boys start doing their own washing recently obviously I supervise but they can load and unload a washer and tumble, they can hoover and clean a loo which they hate but they have to learn
Whatever my mil taught my oh was ridiculous he has no idea.
He may cook now and again. He wouldn’t know how to wipe his own arse if I didn’t pass him the loo roll.
I’ve made my boys start doing their own washing recently obviously I supervise but they can load and unload a washer and tumble, they can hoover and clean a loo which they hate but they have to learn
Whatever my mil taught my oh was ridiculous he has no idea.
Noname12345
Chatty Member
Yeah, he says that I should relax and chill, while the house is upside down. I know I've got high standards, but I'm raging when he games and I am working on growing a third arm, because two isn't enough!I hear ya, except I do all the cooking too. To be fair I am a chef and don't let him in the kitchenso it's entirely my fault. I do get annoyed picking up after him and the children. He just doesn't see the clutter. Also I like a clean house. It settles my mind. He doesn't so I suppose it's my fault entirely. Doesn't stop the rage though
Interestingbitsnbats
VIP Member
My OH does fuck all getting to the point he doesn't even flush the toilet fully after a shit so when in come home from work the entire house smell of it. Drops chocolate bar wrappers where ever hes finishes then all round kitchen and living room. He works long hours but I'm doing 50plus hours this week. he left me a note and a key to his car to please Hoover it because he wont have time to before his fucking ex borrows it to take their child somewhere
theghosttown
VIP Member
I really, really feel for you. His behaviour is totally an utterly acceptable. He would be out on his arse if he was my husband... BUT I know that is WAY easier said than done. The problem is you'll just end up resenting him, I find resentment easily then manifests into hate. He has to want to change though. You should tell him just how bad he makes you feel when he does this. Try and talk to him when hes not expecting it. I find that when I am angry with my husband I end up ranting and he just doesnt take me seriously.
I do the majority, but as some others have said it’s because I have high standards! Plus, he works 50 hours a week and I work 25 so he’s not around as much as me anyway. However, if I asked him to put a load of washing on, bleach the loo and hoover the front room he would do it. It just works for us.
Sometimes I get annoyed and think ‘well you don’t have to do all the housework that I do!’ (Cause he definitely underestimates how much there actually is to do!) but then I realise that if we split it 50/50 I’d still be annoyed at him for not doing it ‘right’ so bless him he could never win 
The only thing I HATE is clearing up after him e.g leaving a bowl on the side or leaving his socks on the floor etc. I remind him he’s not a teenager, I’m not his mother and he needs to tidy up after himself. I just leave those things until he finally does them! I’ve even picked his clothes up off the floor, hoovered and then put the clothes back on many occasions
Sometimes I get annoyed and think ‘well you don’t have to do all the housework that I do!’ (Cause he definitely underestimates how much there actually is to do!) but then I realise that if we split it 50/50 I’d still be annoyed at him for not doing it ‘right’
so bless him he could never win The only thing I HATE is clearing up after him e.g leaving a bowl on the side or leaving his socks on the floor etc. I remind him he’s not a teenager, I’m not his mother and he needs to tidy up after himself. I just leave those things until he finally does them! I’ve even picked his clothes up off the floor, hoovered and then put the clothes back on many occasions
DCICassieStuart
VIP Member
Probably about 60/40 here, but I work part time (3 days a week) and he works full time, so I think it's fair enough.
I do the grocery shopping which I don't mind. On the rare occasion he does it, it works out more expensive because he keeps picking up stuff we don't need!
We both iron as little as possible. He irons his work shirts and does the bed linen. I have a couple of tops that need to be ironed, but otherwise we rarely iron anything else.
It's the picking up after him though that drives me bloody insane! I like the house to be tidy, but he constantly just dumps stuff everywhere or takes things out, but never puts them away.
The dishwasher is the one thing that really pees me off. He throws stuff into it any old way and tells me I'm OCD about it, but I'm not. I've tried telling him that you have to put stuff in a certain way in order for it to clean properly and so that stuff doesn't break.
Most of the time though he just leaves the dirty stuff on the table or lying around the kitchen!
On the once in a blue moon occasion that he empties it, he just shoves everything back in the cupboard any old way too
I do the grocery shopping which I don't mind. On the rare occasion he does it, it works out more expensive because he keeps picking up stuff we don't need!
We both iron as little as possible. He irons his work shirts and does the bed linen. I have a couple of tops that need to be ironed, but otherwise we rarely iron anything else.
It's the picking up after him though that drives me bloody insane! I like the house to be tidy, but he constantly just dumps stuff everywhere or takes things out, but never puts them away.
The dishwasher is the one thing that really pees me off. He throws stuff into it any old way and tells me I'm OCD about it, but I'm not. I've tried telling him that you have to put stuff in a certain way in order for it to clean properly and so that stuff doesn't break.
Most of the time though he just leaves the dirty stuff on the table or lying around the kitchen!
On the once in a blue moon occasion that he empties it, he just shoves everything back in the cupboard any old way too
Greed-Futures
Active member
We split 50/50 when we both worked FT legal jobs.
Now that I'm a SAHM I do all the "inside" work (cook, clean, bills, etc.) and he does the "outside" work (mowing, car maintenance, handiwork, etc.). On the daily though, I make dinner every evening and he does the washing up after dinner. And we parent together, of course.
Now that I'm a SAHM I do all the "inside" work (cook, clean, bills, etc.) and he does the "outside" work (mowing, car maintenance, handiwork, etc.). On the daily though, I make dinner every evening and he does the washing up after dinner. And we parent together, of course.
We have a cleaner - it’s £30 a week in London and that gets our two bedroom flat spotless and all of our ironing. It takes me 5-10 mins a day absolute maximum to keep on top of it. I figure I earn more than that per hour and don’t want to spend time at the weekend doing it so it’s worth it to me. There are a lot of luxuries I would go without before not having a cleaner. Appreciate I am fortunate enough to be able to afford it but I do think it’s worth every penny.
My husband does the finances / bills etc (pays for much more than me too, his choice), I do all of the shopping and all of the cooking. He can’t cook and I can and don’t mind it. He’s also happy with beans on toast or a ready meal so I don’t have too much pressure if I’ve had a busy week or don’t fancy cooking from scratch. I do a monthly online shop and then get fresh bits during the week as we go, although we are doing Hello Fresh at the minute so that’s actually got easier for me. We have a cleaner once per week but I’ll do most of the “keeping on top” cleaning in between, although he will wipe down the sides etc after using them of course. He takes the bins out. He works from home so does 70% of the laundry in terms of putting it in, hanging out to dry etc. I will do more if I’m working from home or he will put it on during the day and I might fold in the evening. Our cleaner does the ironing and I’ll do the odd bit if needed between her visits. Neither of us feel hard done by and we both chip in if extra stuff is needed and both keep the place tidy. I am generally better at seeing little odd jobs that need doing. DIY is neither of our fortes - he will do small tasks but decorating is something we generally get people in for. We don’t have a garden but he will probably do the mowing if we did.
I make sure we’ve got everything we need, I do all of the organising for our social life and other admin / calendar keeping. I also make sure everyone has birthday cards and gifts, do pretty much everything for Christmas. He always says I “make us have a nice life” which I like - he is very generous and pays for a majority but we bring equal value to the relationship with the distribution of workload.
I make sure we’ve got everything we need, I do all of the organising for our social life and other admin / calendar keeping. I also make sure everyone has birthday cards and gifts, do pretty much everything for Christmas. He always says I “make us have a nice life” which I like - he is very generous and pays for a majority but we bring equal value to the relationship with the distribution of workload.
Noname12345
Chatty Member
Omg, this is so wrong. You need to talk to him. You'll build up resentment and eventually leave.
This was exactly the issue with my ex - he'd never been expected to lift a finger (my ex MiL still says this now) so it was like living with a huge, messy, annoying, untrained third child. He never made a bed in all the time we were together, he never cleaned a toilet, put the hoover round, put a wash on. When we first met I had to explain to him how and why he needed to rinse the basin after he'd had a shave!My oh does sod all.
He may cook now and again. He wouldn’t know how to wipe his own arse if I didn’t pass him the loo roll.
I’ve made my boys start doing their own washing recently obviously I supervise but they can load and unload a washer and tumble, they can hoover and clean a loo which they hate but they have to learn
Whatever my mil taught my oh was ridiculous he has no idea.
Influenced
Chatty Member
I hear ya, except I do all the cooking too. To be fair I am a chef and don't let him in the kitchen so it's entirely my fault. I do get annoyed picking up after him and the children. He just doesn't see the clutter. Also I like a clean house. It settles my mind. He doesn't so I suppose it's my fault entirely. Doesn't stop the rage though
so it's entirely my fault. I do get annoyed picking up after him and the children. He just doesn't see the clutter. Also I like a clean house. It settles my mind. He doesn't so I suppose it's my fault entirely. Doesn't stop the rage though
Delia Smith
VIP Member
I do 90% of it. I work from home mostly. OH earns far more than me and the way we work it is he pays for most things but I cook, clean, run errands, look after the pets, sort out the essentials and I pay for and maintain our car and also other critical non essentials. When he comes home from work he has very little to do around the house. He might put the bin out or load the dishwasher but thats it.
carebear123
Active member
I do it all theres only me and 3 kids.i bribe the older two to help sometimes 
oldest is 16 this year so she does need to start pulling her weight.
she can cook so sometimes cooks for us.
older two have to keep there bedrooms tidy I do go in every few days and give the rooms a good clean.
my 3 year old helps by playing a game at end of day where we both tidy toys away on a timer.(we have to beat the clock).
I do the washing and main cleaning stuff as if I ask older ones they tend to take days and nothing would get done.
oldest is 16 this year so she does need to start pulling her weight.she can cook so sometimes cooks for us.
older two have to keep there bedrooms tidy I do go in every few days and give the rooms a good clean.
my 3 year old helps by playing a game at end of day where we both tidy toys away on a timer.(we have to beat the clock
).I do the washing and main cleaning stuff as if I ask older ones they tend to take days and nothing would get done.
bubbletea123
VIP Member
My fiance works full-time, I am not working after being let go. I have applied for jobs but it is a tough market.
We typically go grocery shopping together at the weekend, if we don't manage, I will go on Monday. I will do the meal-planning but check with him that he fancies those meals that week too.
For general weekly cleaning, I do that.
Vacuum, mop, dust, bed sheets, bathrooms, laundry, etc. Sometimes if my fiance is off, he will mop as he enjoys it.
Depending on when he gets home, we will often cook together. Sometimes I will prep stuff like chopping or make the side dish so we just have to do the main part. Whoever does the cooking (frying, etc), the other person washes up. If he won't be home until later, I will make dinner and he will clean up.
My fiance does a lot around the house such as DIY, whether painting, yard work, building stuff for us.
In the spring, we do a huge deep clean that we do together over a weekend.
We typically go grocery shopping together at the weekend, if we don't manage, I will go on Monday. I will do the meal-planning but check with him that he fancies those meals that week too.
For general weekly cleaning, I do that.
Vacuum, mop, dust, bed sheets, bathrooms, laundry, etc. Sometimes if my fiance is off, he will mop as he enjoys it.
Depending on when he gets home, we will often cook together. Sometimes I will prep stuff like chopping or make the side dish so we just have to do the main part. Whoever does the cooking (frying, etc), the other person washes up. If he won't be home until later, I will make dinner and he will clean up.
My fiance does a lot around the house such as DIY, whether painting, yard work, building stuff for us.
In the spring, we do a huge deep clean that we do together over a weekend.
judsmum
Chatty Member
We both work ‘full time’ although he is in the construction/maintenance sector and so is often out of the house at 5am and home at 6pm.
I do ALL the housework and cooking. Everything. And that is how I intend it to stay. It’s not like if I asked him to do something he wouldn’t do it, he would, it’s just that I prefer to do it my way! I just ask him not to and we’re both happy with that.
I do ALL the housework and cooking. Everything. And that is how I intend it to stay. It’s not like if I asked him to do something he wouldn’t do it, he would, it’s just that I prefer to do it my way! I just ask him not to and we’re both happy with that.
bubbletea123
VIP Member
Omg. I don't know how you deal with that. If my fiance was like that, I would have left him and it would drive me MAD.
You know that is not normal right? He needs a kick up the arse. That is disgusting. There is zero excuse to not flush the damn toilet. I am mad for you.
Sparks
Chatty Member
I have asked my husband if he half asses stuff on purpose so I wouldn't ask him to do it again. He swears no but I am not buying it