House chores

[MissP]

Probably about 70:30 in our house. I do all of the cooking, laundry, ironing, bed changing, floor cleaning, food shopping and bathroom cleaning and my husband does the washing up, dusting and hoovering. We’re renovating an entire house and both have full time demanding jobs so my husband spends about 12 hours every Saturday doing home improvements so I don’t mind doing extra chores. Plus I do them better

 

[Orange Creme]

I do everything in the week and husband helps at the weekend. I have a little business which take up only an hour a day and he he works full time, long hours. We have children and I like it how it is to be honest I would just like the kids to do more but that's my own fault.

 

[Itsallaboutmememe]

Ours is roughly 50/50 even tho he works full time and I’m part time
i do all our washing hoovering cleaning the bathroom etc
he does the bins recycling dusting etc
we both cook depending on what time the other walks in from work
the problem is getting his daughter to do anything
she seems to think we are here to serve her in her house that we are lucky to be allowed to live in and pay the bills
im working on this but it’s slowly as she’s been raised all her life as a true snowflake
mine just pitch in as needed and clean up after themselves-it’s really hard trying to get her to pull her weight like mine do but I won’t give up-it’s not fair to mine

 

[EyeSpy88]

I’d say it’s 99% to 1% me doing everything
I work part time and he works quite long hours, so I don’t mind.
Every now and again I have a resentful moment when I’m moaning I do everything around the place, but also then remember I have high standards and he does not meet them cleaning wise
The only thing that does make me crazy is when he spills sugar making a cup of tea and just leaves it no thought in his head to wipe it up

 

[Horatio]

I really, really feel for you. His behaviour is totally an utterly acceptable. He would be out on his arse if he was my husband... BUT I know that is WAY easier said than done. The problem is you'll just end up resenting him, I find resentment easily then manifests into hate. He has to want to change though. You should tell him just how bad he makes you feel when he does this. Try and talk to him when hes not expecting it. I find that when I am angry with my husband I end up ranting and he just doesnt take me seriously.

Absolutely, resentment is a killer in a relationship. I think the thing about chores and living with someone is nobody wants to feel taken for granted. Sure, you may have more free time or higher standards, but your partner should recognise what you do and be grateful for it. Leaving washing up because you know the other person will do it is not ok, stacking it neatly by the sink and saying I’m sorry I didn’t have time to do that this morning is better. And if you’re out all day at work and you know they’ll have cleaned the house, maybe bring back something for them as a sign of appreciation- what’s nicer than coming home to a clean place after all ?

 

[petra23]

I used to do absolutely everything when I lived with my ex partner and his daughter. I would spend hours every evening trying to keep up with the cleaning, cooking, prepping lunches etc. After I left my ex and he moved out it was total bliss! I really miss his daughter as she was a big part of my life but I do not miss finding his sandwich crusts down the side of the sofa... Yes, the side. of. the. sofa.

 

[petitspois]

Mine does absolutely af until I lose my absolute shit. He does work long hours and in currently on mat leave. However when I was at work full time it was the same. And I'm guessing it will be the same when I go back (again full time).
Hes never cooked a meal, done a big shop, washed clothes or cleaned the bathroom.
He will give the hoover a quick run around, empty dish washer or make the bed if I lose my shit.
Most annoying thing he does is leaves his pile or dirty clothes, dirty pits and any snack wrappers next to him side of the bed in the morning. WHY?! Your going downstairs ffs, take them down!

My ex was like this. I did absolutely everything. He was a nice guy, he just let me do it. It bred huge resentment in me as he felt like another child

 

[Supercurious]

In my opinion having your dinner cooked and the groceries bought is the best thing ever and I’d do anything for that. The thing is, house work can be done anytime, and if you can’t be arsed one day and put it off until the next day, no one will notice. Whereas the food shop HAS to be bought, dinner, lunch etc HAS to be made or you’ll not eat. Everyone notices that. Also, one person cooking dinner every night means they have to come up with different meals constantly which can be a total pain in the arse or else you’d get bored eating the same stuff week in week out whereas if there were 2 people sharing that job, it naturally would be mixed up a wee bit.

 

[Laur91]

so you wash your clothes separate to him washing his? doesn't that mean you do double the washings? would it not be better doing a dark load, light load, towels ect.

no hate just curious

oh the man has SO many clothes, he can easily fill a wash with just his own stuff like he collects socks so will sometimes just do a sock wash and there just be like 30 pairs crammed in there

if he’s running low on whites one day I’ll add a few of mine in but we both usually fill the washing machine with our own stuff easily without having to split it all! He’s also super fussy about his stuff so he puts extra bits and bobs in to soften his T-shirt’s etc so this way just works for us!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I absolutely detest cooking and food shop. Much rather iron sequinned jeans then do either.

Complete opposite! I love food shopping and don’t mind cooking. But I refuse to iron or mop

 

[Noname12345]

We have it split 50/50 but I’m not going to lie, we do have a cleaner who does a deep clean once a month, other than that we share all the cooking, cleaning and child care.

I'm considering getting a cleaner when we get a bigger house, because I'll drive myself crazy.

 

[Titntat]

Mine does absolutely af until I lose my absolute shit. He does work long hours and in currently on mat leave. However when I was at work full time it was the same. And I'm guessing it will be the same when I go back (again full time).
Hes never cooked a meal, done a big shop, washed clothes or cleaned the bathroom.
He will give the hoover a quick run around, empty dish washer or make the bed if I lose my shit.
Most annoying thing he does is leaves his pile or dirty clothes, dirty pits and any snack wrappers next to him side of the bed in the morning. WHY?! Your going downstairs ffs, take them down!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

My OH works long hours so I don’t mind doing the cleaning etc. There is just a few thing I refuse to do which has become his jobs and those are mopping, putting out the rubbish and ironing. Lucky for him we don’t iron apart from the occasional item.

In terms of feeling annoyed that your partners don’t help, I agree with the person who said that even if they did more you’d still get annoyed. Especially if you are like meas I like stuff done a certain way (which is the right way!)

If it continue pissing you off then you need to talk to him about it and agree what his jobs would be.

 

[Keepitw0nky]

I think the difference is whether he picks up after himself or not? It’s fine having certain jobs each but it’s not an excuse for the one who doesn’t do daily cleaning/tidying to drop their shit everywhere and expect it to be picked up or put away.

 

[theghosttown]

Its pretty much 80/20. My husband pretty much does all of the house hold chores. We split washing and cooking. I earn significantly more than him so I pay for all of our holidays including spending money (pretty pricey holidays like disney, Vegas etc). I pay into a joint savings account for us, pay for us to have a nice, social lifestyle. Bills and food shopping are split evenly though. This is just something that works well for us. In the beginning he really hated it and I think felt slightly emasculate by it but he knows my job is high stress and without it we wouldnt have our lifestyle.

 

[Mustard]

I'm considering getting a cleaner when we get a bigger house, because I'll drive myself crazy.

I had a cleaner when I moved to my first house, after selling my flat. I 'inherited' her from previous owner. She took the piss. I used to come back from work to find things like the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room and the cat's pooper scooper for the litter tray on the kitchen counter. Then she started leaving me £1 coin for a phone call with a note. When I checked my phone bill she was using my landline to make a call of almost an hour. I presume it was so her husband couldn't check her phone and realise she was calling another man as it was a man when I called the number and checked. She'd also argue with me about what things she wanted to clean. I sacked her and would like another but would want to be there to supervise.

 

[CrazyCatLady101]

we both work full time, I take care of all the bills (he transfers money into my account from his wage and I pay them all/have the DD or SO set up for them) I do the food shop on my lunch from work as Tesco is right behind my office. I get up at 6.30 and he gets up at 7..by that time the cats are fed, watered and litter trays cleaned out. he is usually in before me so will have a shower and if I have prepped dinner he will msg and ask what time and temp to pop it in the oven. he also leaves before me in the morning for work so after I am dressed, hair & make up done I try and clean a room a day in the morning before work. If I don't manage that then its all done on a Friday night after work whilst hes on the Xbox or if he sometimes does OT on a sat morning I will get up the same time as him and have the whole house done by 12/1pm when he gets home, he will pop on a washing if I have loaded it up or transfer it to the tumble dryer for me and at the weekend he will sometimes make dinner or lunch. we tried doing the food shop together but he gets really annoyed at ppl and ends up going and waiting in the car, I also spend a lot less when hes not there dumping in random rubbish. I unpack the shopping to and tidy up after him, yes its annoying but at least its tidy and I know where everything is... then he has to ask where this or that is as hes left it at his arse as usual. I don't think I could have it any other way tho as I am super organised with everything and like to stay on top of things. I have been referred to hosp for something and I may need a operation, the recovery period is 6 to 8 weeks and when I reminded him of this and he will need to pitch in more he simply said well stuff wont be getting done then. he was half joking but I also know it wont be done or will be done half heartedly. I am praying I don't need this op as it will drive me mad being bed bound in a messy house xx

 

[lipsticktaser]

It’s about 80/20 here. I don’t work so I do a mini clean every day and Hoover. I do the food shop (online) and make all the meals.
He cleans up after tea, hoovers at the weekend, takes down washings etc. Basically anything he can see to do when he’s home.

He cleans all the shower cubicles. I used vykal in the shower one year and put myself in the hospital and it killed my chest. Since then he’s just done it.

 

[Laur91]

different things work for different people hun, not gonna lie I am a tad jealous haha. my bf saves his clothes up in a pile next tot he bed. every morning I lift them, fold them and put them back on the bed as a hint....they get threw on the floor again that night and the same happens the next day until he decides that they all need washing and he DESPERATLY needs the pair of jeans that's been in that very pile for over a week haha. sounds like you have a good man there x

Hahaha dont worry, mine might do the washing but ask him to find his wallet or keys before he leaves for work and there is zero hope/they’ve disappeared off the face of the earth/he’s lost them forever then I get up, look in one location and find them all. So they all have their flaws in different places!!

 

[Sp20191]

I work one day a week, so I do the majority of the house/kid stuff!
I cook, he washes up, he does the washing, the bins, the garden etc but if I ask him to help he will, he just doesn’t seem to see the things that need doing like I do c