Hen Do Horror Stories!

[Base2019]

Similar - I got asked to be bridesmaid from a girl at work . Went to wedding fayres with her , dress shopping with her , all sorts
I then got engaged her planning , I chose 2020 wedding , she went for 2021
Xmas time at work I found out that she had sent all the invites out and I hadn’t got mine - thought it was odd but I just assumed that she wasn’t sending the wedding party one . Few months after that I found out she has set up a private fb group for her hen party abroad which I wasn’t part of or knew nothing about . Started to realise I had been ghosted as a bridesmaid and dropped. Gave her a few months to see if she would mention it . She didn’t so I called her out on it big style . We only know have a work friendship if you wanna call her that

People really have no manners at times! It’s true what they say weddings really bring out the best and worst in people

 

[TheRealCarolDanvers]

Oh wow this thread is an eye-opener! my MOH is currently in the early stages of planning mine, we had talked about a trip abroad somewhere but I’m not so sure now! Don’t want to cause her too much stress.

I went on a hen do just before lockdown and 3 people dropped out at the last minute, meaning we had to pick up their costs. I didn’t mind personally, but I know some of the other girls were pissed. The bride and groom unfortunately had to postpone their wedding due to Covid, but now she’s demanding we throw her another hen weekend before the new date!

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I planned my best friend of 20+ years’ hen party for her and about 9 others and it resulted in me being demoted from Made of Honour to a ‘guest’ which I declined and I’ve never spoketo her again since.

basically the long weekend in a beach-side loft apartment with day shopping and eating, chocolate making workshop & dinner at an Italian restaurant I’d planned and booked around her ‘friends’ who had no money was not appreciated and she literally asked me ‘is this all there is?’ as we stood on the beach in the blazing sunshine with a drink in hand.

edit; just to say Bride doesn’t drink and didn’t want a boozy/party hen do so I did my best!

I was so gobsmacked and to add insult to injury she let her ‘friends’ (basically work colleagues and sister in law so maybe that says a lot) walk all over me and tell me how much better they could have planned it. Bearing in mind i spent 6 months planning hers and rounding up money (which I put in a LOT more than them) and she said ‘sorry I don’t see how you could have spent so long planning this’.

it sent me into a bit of an anxiety spiral and for about a year afterwards I had major issues with my self esteem and not feeling good enough, I’ll never forgive her for it.

Hello,
fellow demotee here. Ditched by a friend of over 30 years, via watsapp, would you believe! Was told I could still go to her main hen do and the wedding. I politely declined, removed everyone involved from social media and never spoke to her again.

There were multiple hen do's and get togethers. I was told I wasn't enthusiastic enough despite getting myself into debt to go to these things she wanted and giving up loads of my time, despite going through significant family difficulties at the time.

I was relieved in the end because any time we had got together (bride and bridesmaids) it was so obvious they were all slagging me off behind my back that it made me quite ill with anxiety. I literally couldn't have done any more to try and please her and it was never enough. I never did get the hundreds of pounds back from the hen do I didn't go on. Although they all had to share beds in some weird flat arrangement so for a positive spin I like to think of it as paying to get out of something I'd have hated.

My own hen do years prior was in total contrast. I organised it myself, although my bridesmaids did loads of thoughtful stuff to make it special. It was a meal with family and friends, followed by a trip to my favourite nightclub with those who wanted to join me, ending with popping in to a memorial night that was being held at a pub nearby, for someone close to me who had died suddenly the week before. The last bit might seem a bit weird but neither get together could be rearranged so that was how it was.

I'd be happy to never be invited on another hen do again!

 

[ZogTheDog]

A sad but true story. My neighbour had her hen party in a coastal village in Ireland. One of the girls at the hen party was alone that night, standing on a pier taking a photo of the coast, she slipped, fell into the water and died. The wedding after was a very sombre affair.

I remember this so well, I was only in that town visiting the week prior. Utterly tragic state of affairs.

On a lighter note, I'm MOH and currently attempting to plan my sisters hen party for later this year. It's my idea of hell as I'm a social recluse whereas she is polar opposite and life/soul of the party. Luckily its being organised between me and her two other bridesmaids who are usually pretty easy going so I've my fingers crossed it's relatively stress free!

 

[Blakelycakey]

One of my close friends is getting married and she wants an away hen. It annoys me how much she expects her friends to pay? I’d rather go on holiday with my husband thanks not fork out to stay in a run down hotel with a group of bitchy girls

This! It’s different when you’re younger and you don’t have financial commitments but most of my friends now work part time and have children. I wouldn’t expect someone to spend money they couldn’t afford on a hen do of all things. On mine we set a budget that everyone agreed to don’t get me wrong the hotel was a bit icky but it’s only to sleep
My sister spent £1500 on three days in Marbella for her friends and then paid another £1000 on things whilst she was there

 

[DanaScully]

I can't remember if I've already replied to this thread so replying again.

I've only been on one hen do and it was my first and will be my last. We went to Benidorm and started out drinking in the bride's kitchen at about 7.00am before our flight.

We carried on drinking all day, threw our bags in the hotel, freshened up and went straight out for the evening.

The next day I was sick in a bin next to the pool. There and then I vowed I'd never go on another hen do.

 

[cuttle90]

Haha sorry guys didn’t realise I had ended on such a cliffhanger haha.

It was pretty bad so for the rest of that day she was in a terrible state, umming and arring about what to do and what was right. The childhood friend stuck around but super sheepish and staying out of everything. We all gave our opinion on what to do but it was down to her at the end of the day

SO she gets back and admits to the husband to be. He is understandably gutted but apparently was ok about the situation. Wedding called off

This was about two years ago - my friend went travelling for about a year (presumably to get over everything / recover) I think a lot of people were mad at her. She’s now been back for a year, training as a midwife and is currently dating the childhood friend. Nice ending - we shall see!

Lets hope her and the childhood friend dont get married and the ex tags along on the hen do

 

[SavvyBee]

They are hard work! Even as the bride I found it difficult because I could see that trying to please everyone AND make it something I would love was really starting to stress out my MOH.
I did a trip away but only with my closest friends (all bridesmaids and one friendship group, so fairly easy to sort and it just replaced our girls holiday that year). I also did it 9 months ahead of my destination wedding because doing it too close meant so much more to pay for. They covered my costs but I made sure I snuck off and paid as many bar/restaurant bills as I could whilst there. I did do a night out in London to include everyone else too but I don’t “think” it was difficult and there was no pressure to attend, I made a point of telling everyone that and asked my MO to reiterate. I told her to decide and then it was just a yes/no, asking for opinions or suggestions or “what do people think of this” and costing out 57 different options just gets far too much.

It’s just the badly organised ones I dislike, or where people have forgotten the dead obvious elements such as transport. I did one a few years ago that had a cocktail class first thing, then a food class which really lowered the tempo, then we hung out at someone’s flat for ages and then went out to a set menu dinner in a really odd choice of restaurant. All different areas of London and nobody had thought about transport so one minute we’re getting a tube then people decided to get a taxi, then we lost people, it was just so unorganised and really killed the vibe. We’d also paid for “goodie bags” on top of the activities which I’m pretty sure only stocked the MOHs drinks cabinet, we got a miniature spirit and a straw each and that was it for £25!

 

[HowlOwl]

I went to my friends 'home' hen do about 3 weeks before lockdown. Her Mum and Sister had organised it. She told me that she asked them to keep it quite low key, she just wanted a nice afternoon tea style event that she could actually enjoy and spend time with her friends and family. Instead they got us a VIP table in a club, which we all had to pay for at the door. We couldn't chat to each other over the music and the bride left at 10.30 in floods of tears because her sister had called her an ungrateful spoiled bitch

I also went to one in Marbella, it was unbelievably expensive and I had my handbag stolen... it was a cross body bag and they literally snipped the straps whilst we were in a queue and ran off with all my money, phone and passport. Luckily they dumped my passport and it was handed into a local police station! I had to hide on the balcony to cry on the phone to my bf because I didn't want to spoil the weekend for the bride!

That‘s horrendous. A low-key do is what I had, a colleague cooked a meal for myself and a few workmates, very kindly! We had a few silly hats and toys. I was 40 so that probably made it much more appealing than going out.

 

[instagramloverinlondon]

I've organised about 5 hen dos and they've all but one been a breeze. The only one that was a problem was the brides sister who told me and my friend we were bad friends because we didnt want to pay (couldn't afford at the time) to go to marbella for the weekend. None of the friends could. My friends mum was gonna pay for the sister and my friend so she obviously just wanted a weekend away. Got very heated and my friend ended up saying she just wanted a day and night local (we're in london) and that's what we did. We had a great time. The bride loved!

My hen do was in October...my bridesmaids did INCREDIBLE...32 hens and it was the best weekend ever. Everyone said was the best hen they've ever been off. As far as I know it wasnt too stressful...just the most special weekend with all my favourite ladies!

I know it can be awkward asking for money but my advice is keep it simple. Dont plan too much...keep it fun and try and do things to keep everyone happy! It's a happy time after all. My memories from my hen will stay with me forever!

 

[Elmhart]

I will be making a polite excuse to not go if I ever get invited to one. Thankfully most of my friends are married and it wasnt a big thing to go on a holiday and have huge expensive nights out etc. I just cba with them to be honest.

I didn't have one for my wedding.

 

[Rose91]

So my friend had her hen do weekend on the August bank holiday. Her original hen do weekend was postponed then eventually cancelled and luckily I got a refund for what I had paid.

Her new hen do consisted of;

Friday - garden party at her parents
Saturday - afternoon out in London drinking
Sunday - Meal
Monday - Afternoon tea

Luckily we could choose what days we wanted to go to, so I just opted for the meal (although I ended up not going due to a stomach bug).

Anyway apparently it all kicked off on the Saturday. A group of the brides ‘friends’ (most are partners of the grooms friends so they kind of defaulted to being friends) decided to get the train into London instead of going with everyone else on the mini bus. When it was time to leave, the bride suggested they go back to her parents as there was still drinks/food left over from the night before. This group of women said they weren’t going to do that and we’re going to stay out in London instead. My friend then got upset as she felt they weren’t thinking of her and the reason they were out celebrating. When her bridesmaids tried to calm her down, she refused to speak to anyone and was still upset on the Sunday.

 

[judsmum]

I have never been on one and after reading these stories I am pretty glad about that. Do men go through the same stoopid shit with their stags, I wonder?

Probs not! All they want is to get shit faced not a load of superficial shite!

 

[Hastaggifted]

I had to go to a spice girls dance class as part of one hen do. It was being taught by a girl who didn't even know the song wannabee.

We then had to perform it at the wedding..

That sounds horrific.

 

[MrsWolf]

A bit late to this thread and this isn’t a horror story.. but I’m worried it could turn out to be one. Also, I’m unable to start a thread myself..

But I’ve been put in charge of planning my best friends hen do next year. I do not get on with any of her “new friends” (they’re all her fiancés best mates wives/gfs) and his family are literally my idea of hell company. I’m literally the odd one out but we’ve been friends for 20 years and I couldn't let her down and not do this for her. (She planned everything for mine and I’m grateful for that!)

Does anyone have any tips/advice to help me get through this as easily as possible?! She wants one abroad and all the works and I just don’t know where to start. We’ve already had the first drama of them only agreeing on one date so far.. my wedding anniversary.. so I’ve obviously said no. I am honestly dreading it.

 

[DietGossip]

The air bnb we booked (in Manchester, so it's not even like we were in another country) was completely different to the pictures we were shown. The door to get into the flat block was faulty and didn't work half the time so we had to prop it open, it was supposed to be an apartment for a possible 12 of us, but when we got there it was a 2 bed flat with 5 double beds shoved into the 2 rooms- no balcony that we were promised to be seen either.

We'd booked for a spa afternoon that came to us, so we somehow had to empty one of the rooms of the beds to fit one of the massage tables in. The hosts ignored all our messages while we were there, but I think we eventually got some money back- that I think went to the bride and groom as a present cause they announced they were pregnant at the wedding.

 

[no-no]

I can kind of see her point though!

Who would want to go back to someone’s parents’ house for an “after party” when you’ve been out drinking ? Just go back with your real mates if you want the leftovers.

Glad I’ve never been on one of these do’s, sounds like a lot of brides-to-be are testing how high you’ll jump.

 

[Sunflower91]

I’ve planned around 4 now - two of which are happening next year.
It’s honestly draining. The first one I planned I was far too nice and kept trying to please everyone. I knew the bride really wanted to do a cocktail making class so I booked one that was reasonably priced and basically had two people threaten to drop out (leaving everyone in the shit money wise) because they worked in a bar. In the end I had to tell them the hen do is for the bride. Now I take deposits upfront, and stagger payments so no one is left out of pocket.
By far the worst experience was as MOH- there was a group of us and one of the girls accepted a drink from a stranger (Her second drink of the night). It was spiked. I had to literally carry her up the stairs to get outside. She managed to trip me before projectile vomiting in the street. I decided to call her sister and take her to hospital to get check out. Once i got to the hospital I was carrying her through the hallway for her to collapse, taking me down with her, and I couldn’t get her to wake up. It was the scariest thing ever. A and E nurse took one look, said she was drunk and sent her home so I went home early too. Woke up covered in bruises

 

[The Devils Arse]

It was horrific. I dreaded it during the run up. Got there and me and two other girls were trying to work out if we could bail

The class itself was painful and we only learnt a routine to the first half of the song. At the wedding when it came on and the DJ said I understand the hens have a routine they want to show us I could have died

This is my absolute nightmare. I would have had a.migraine that day for sure. A well planned and prepared one.

 

[Clickbait]

My hen do was awful. My sister took over the organising, it may be worth noting that she’s 20 years older than me. so we had dinner at her boyfriends restaurant, which was very much a FAMILY place. Full of families. He put us in the basement, all alone, because she’d ordered a fucking stripper. She’d mentioned the stripper to my two other bridesmaids, and they’d said they didn’t think I’d like it. She said “oh but it will be so funny” and hired one anyway. He was practically teabagging one of my friends who was 9 months pregnant at the time and my sister ended up rolling around on the floor with him. Then we literally went to the pub over the road which was full of drunk people my sisters age doing karaoke.
I went home early.

I’m engaged again now, and if I have a hen I’m planning it myself.

Look on the bright side - it couldn’t be worse!

It is a strange phenomena that organisers or other guests suggest things that the bride would hate - often they organise something they’d enjoy doing. Or they want something cheap and easy.

One suggestion I had before was going along to a chain bar where they had groups of hen parties turn up around 3pm to all partake in some activities (like a kids party) fuelled by really cheap jugs of sugar-laden but watered down cocktails followed by a buffet meal, some strippers and then a disco.

I could not think of any way of making someone’s hen party less special. The person who suggested it said it was “well cheap and would be a laugh”