I love that she had prosecco listed separately, as if she doesn't count that as booze
I love that she had prosecco listed separately, as if she doesn't count that as boozeI love the "Booze - OF COURSE" in the shopping list - I can just hear her saying it now
Oh to have the luxury of just taking any day as an organisation one when ur boredOh, to be able to take Monday as an “organisation day”
Well, poor thing had a full on week of solid hard work with decorating a tree, making a wreath from a DIY kit, writing her name on a bit of wood, going to the gym, tidying the house a bit, having naps on the sofa everyday, then having the weekend off from work and making another wreath from a DIY kit, then going for a walk. Oh, and don't forget getting her nails done and taking a few selfies.Oh, to be able to take Monday as an “organisation day”
Make up or not, all l know is, Helen looks haggardI genuinely don’t even think they’re that bad without makeup and I had the same issue (when I was like 12 and just trying out foundation tho lol) but the way she applies makeup is terrible and Casey and not doing her any favours
She sure does seem to drink it like waterI love that she had prosecco listed separately, as if she doesn't count that as booze
I feel like Helen uses the word ‘treat’ so often now that it’s lost all meaning.She probably thinks she really does only go to M&S and Waitrose as an occasional treat.
I can't believe how much she's drinking. Alcohol with breakfast for Christmas Day and Boxing Day? I've given up drinking. It's been 9 days (yes it was that bad I'm counting days and not weeks/months!). It was seeing that I was getting a beer belly like Helens that really made me take a hard look at myself and pack it in.VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 6
The Christmas Spreadsheet
Helga seems to have fallen off the schedule train already, does she upload at 9pm? 6pm? Who the fuck knows anymore. Maybe the element of surprise is supposed to be fun?
Judging by the title of this vlog WE ARE IN FOR A TREAAAAAT
Starting off with her gulping down her cup of tea (or mug of wine) "Oh god... I drank sooo much tea taday... it's jast bin sa coald that all I want is just 'ot liquid runnin' through ma body"
It's a new week.... she's telling us yet again that she's only uploading Monday to Friday (because she's a lazy fook) and will be filming stuff over the weekend to upload on Monday. Bitch needs her weekends off from pressing a button, and she doesn't want to "worry about the upload". She just wants to enjoy the weekend a bit more. And to just "have a bit of a break" she laughs.
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She had a really nice weekend, she had a chilled Saturday morning watching some trash TV, had a "barf" (bath), did her virtual borefest (wreath making... again). Now she's telling us... again... how she "normally" would be going to the work shop together.
"But obviously because of URGHMMM" She can't even say pandemic or corona, she just has to pathetically make a noise, roll her eyes and pull weird facial expressions:
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Tells people to go watch the video, judging by the piss poor view count - no one fucking wants to, Helga.
After her wreath making she watched a bunch of Christmas films. Sunday she met up with her sister and GEORGE and did a coastal walk, and now we get a flash back in slow motion, yay.
Oh god... she even placed the camera down and ran off just to do her walking back while talking bit. She's so fucking lame. Here she comes waddling towards us, telling us how she reached the summit and that they're going to have some cake. Waddle waddle.
Now she interviews her sister and George... Hayley says the walk has been good... George sarcastically says he's having the time of his life. This interview goes on for a bit. They've all had some cake and now they're going off to get some fish and chips.
"There's a boat there, which for a moment I thought was a whale" Says Hayley, "Maybe it was a whale... there!" as Helga comes into shot and now it's the whale's... I mean her turn for an interview with the camera to announce that they're going back now
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"FILWHIP have yer ad a nice tyme?"
Fil finally enunciates today "It's been lovely, yes"
Helen is proud that Fil used his words properly. "Yes, lovely time darling"
More slow mo montage as they head into town for their fish and chips. Now we get to watch them all stuff their faces while talking "FIRTEEN PAOWNDS FOR ALL DIS!" Helga loves bargain food.
Back to present day Helga, telling us that when she got back they watched a reaaallly cool movie called Host which was filmed during lockdown on Zoom, and she tells us that when she was editing her wreath making vlog with her zoom call she got the heebie jeebies that there was a ghost in her footage.
Getting on with today, Monday's are usually her "setting up" day where she plans the week ahead, so we cut to footage of her tidying up her house.. again... she might even do a bit of laundry too (ooh!).
Monday's she likes to straighten up the office too - because she does sooooo much work in there obvs. She does a bit of a hoover and a bit of a clean so she can have a nice working environment again.
She also does "life stuff" like "life admin" (eg bill paying) and plan the rest of the week so she gets her diary up... we can see she's super busy... look how chockablock that calendar is!
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She's figuring out what she's doing for the rest of the week and what she's uploading... which is nothing by the looks of her diary... I thought she was well proud of her spreadsheet before December hit?
"Monday's are also FOOD DAY!" says Helga, with a twinkle in her eye and a big smile on her face, she's got the dog's food and gusto delivered.
She's sitting her now, already planned her week and already edited her vlog. She's feeling content and on top of the world.
So other than the update, she wants to share with us THE SACRED CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET! (Probably to prove herself to Tattle)
"WOAH THERE! I know wot yer finking, 'WOAH THERE! WOT? A CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET?!'" No Helen, no one is thinking that... we are all sitting here thinking why the fuck this is classed as content.
She's a huge fan of spreadsheets.... (except when she complained about having to use them when doing her taxes....)
"I FORT 'YER KNOW WOT? I'M GUNNA SHARE THE CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET TODAY!' THAT'S IN THE VEIN OF THE VLOG RIGHT? YEAH? COOL! OKAY! ORGANIZING! CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET" Helen clearly has run out of ideas for vlogmas already....
Right... hold on folks... I need to pause and get myself ready for this shit.
Jesus Christ. Okay. Here we go.
She created this shit at the end of October, beginning of November because she was excited for Christmas and wanted something to look forward to, and she wanted to feel like she was in control more this year. Last year she was unorganised and disappointed in herself and she said to herself that this year she has GOT to raise the bar "AND I HAVE" she says....
She wanted to make sure that by making the spreadsheet she wasn't buying anything she didn't need and that she "wasn't gunna waste ANY FOOD!" (That sounds like Filwhip talking)
Now here we go... we're going to see the spreadsheet! I'm so excited I might wee myself!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god Helen, STOP SAYING HOW MUCH YOU LOVE A SPREADSHEET, WE GET IT YOU LOVE IT, YOU WANT TO MARRY IT. GET ON WITH IT FFS.
"I'm getting... I'm getting, I'm learning how to used spreadsheets, like formulas and stuff like that" and now she lists when she uses spreadsheets..... like writing lists for holidays, money stuff, itineraries... you name it... and because Christmas is spread out over a period of time... she started making.... y'know... A FUCKING SPREADSHEET, WE GET IT.
First on the sheet is food. Obvs.
"It's really not that impressive, BUT PEOPLE KEEP ASKING" No, fucking stop right there Missy... NO ONE asked for this shit. Not a single fucking soul. Don't you blame this shit on us.
She loves getting her Christmas food from M&S and this year she's also done a Waitrose shop "Now every now and then I'll shop at these places, but these are generally deemed as "TREAT SHOPS"
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"A little bit of EXTRAAAAA" she flaps.
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"Granted" she always buys more than she needs, so this year she was a bit more cautious, a little bit more reserved (lol) and reeeeeally thought about it as there's only two of them and now SAVAGE is coming along too so that makes three...
So now she's made a Christmas menu and has put everything she's bought so far (so far being the key words there), so everything is accounted for and nothing gets wasted.
And here it is!
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Christmas eve is FIL's birthday so it's mystery, mystery on the menu. Xmas day is.... OH MY GOD NO ONE CARES.
Skipping through all this... I can hear her drooling already. Basically she's drinking all day everyday... what's new there?
Boxing day she's doing a new tradition of having a BBQ - she's well quirky
She's on to the next tab which is presents.... and it's blank because she doesn't want any spoilers.... so we're looking at a BLANK spreadsheet.....
Here's the main people she's buying for
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and now she explains how a list works... (basically you type what you need to buy in the need to buy bit and when you bought it you move it to the bought cell! MAGIC!)
She would make another spreadsheet, called the "Plan of Christmas" but she knows having a Christmas day itinerary would stress her out because she's a control freak who has to have everything her way. Reminder... there's only THREE people there... THREE.
oh, now she changes her mind "Oh no I do need to make an itinerary... I NEED TO MAKE A CHRISTMAS PLAN"
Fuck, she's doing this for content.....
She makes a list and says that she's taking FIL away for the night on his birthday.... seeing his parents on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...
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She feels better writing all this down because her brain gets overwhelmed.
"If there's any other people wiv plans... let me know" she says to her spreadsheet.
She has to write it all the details down because she forgets things all the time... (like how to make interesting content)
That's all.
I can’t recommend a specific Youtube channel or website in general but just watch lots of tutorials. Figure out the very basics at first - merging cells, conditional formatting, adding filters to lists and just basic formulas like adding up multiple cells once. Once you’ve got the basics and are comfortable making your way around excel you can start to learn all the different formulas using tutorials online, and experiment using the different graphs, charts and tables. Make sure you have a little bit of data to practice with - you can download data examples online. From there just practice - if there’s a specific thing you want to do like find out the largest number in a set of a data, just look it up and do a bit of research. Even now I still have to quickly google how to do certain formulas, Excel can sometimes have a mind of its own!Kind of off topic question, but as everyone was talking about excel, how do I learn to use it properly? I’ve only ever used templates that are all set up. Does anyone know good websites or youtube channels for learning?
I think if your only reason to quit alcohol is your appearance you can drink occasionally/ in moderationI can't believe how much she's drinking. Alcohol with breakfast for Christmas Day and Boxing Day? I've given up drinking. It's been 9 days (yes it was that bad I'm counting days and not weeks/months!). It was seeing that I was getting a beer belly like Helens that really made me take a hard look at myself and pack it in.
I'm planning one glass of baileys on New Years eve and then that's it forever.
She's sooooo wide
Thank you!! I get so overwhelmed with the information every time I google it, this gives me a better idea of where to start.I can’t recommend a specific Youtube channel or website in general but just watch lots of tutorials. Figure out the very basics at first - merging cells, conditional formatting, adding filters to lists and just basic formulas like adding up multiple cells once. Once you’ve got the basics and are comfortable making your way around excel you can start to learn all the different formulas using tutorials online, and experiment using the different graphs, charts and tables. Make sure you have a little bit of data to practice with - you can download data examples online. From there just practice - if there’s a specific thing you want to do like find out the largest number in a set of a data, just look it up and do a bit of research. Even now I still have to quickly google how to do certain formulas, Excel can sometimes have a mind of its own!
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