Helen Anderson #12 'It wasn't me'
To the tune of that Shaggy song
To the tune of that Shaggy song
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Watched her most recent vlog (first time I've sat through a full one in aaaages) ... She looks so unhealthy... I'm really really shocked just how bloated she is. I also can't help but notice how bleeping odd she is around FIWL. I usually never make it past 5/10 minutes or skip my way through then read luna's updates instead. But jeeze her resting witch face when she asks him stuff and he just grumbles...and when they are in the car together.. Its like she wants to be anywhere but at home.. So uncanny I can't explain it.
.
.
i can’t even watch any of her videos anymore
I also noticed a correlation between her talking in a baby voice when she's cooking food or around her partners, I recall her doing this loads and it jumped out at me again.
Is it a coping mechanism or 'summit, it's freaky whatever it is
Is it a coping mechanism or 'summit, it's freaky whatever it is
When she’s making her dinner in the new video, the slow cooker is filthy on the outside, its got old food caked on it and she’s putting in a closeup 
Give it a wipe down babes it’ll take 2 seconds
I also can’t fathom why she has important files and paperwork in the utility, if anything happened to the washing machine it could all be ruined. Wouldn’t a filing cabinet be one of the first things you buy for a home office
Give it a wipe down babes it’ll take 2 secondsI also can’t fathom why she has important files and paperwork in the utility, if anything happened to the washing machine it could all be ruined. Wouldn’t a filing cabinet be one of the first things you buy for a home office
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Also now that she's told us that, and most of us know her address....When she’s making her dinner in the new video, the slow cooker is filthy on the outside, its got old food caked on it and she’s putting in a closeup
I also can’t fathom why she has important files and paperwork in the utility, if anything happened to the washing machine it could all be ruined. Wouldn’t a filing cabinet be one of the first things you buy for a home office
4 minutes in and I feel so sorry for her accountant. I know she films somewhat in advance, but the self-assessment deadline is in like a week.When she’s making her dinner in the new video, the slow cooker is filthy on the outside, its got old food caked on it and she’s putting in a closeup
I also can’t fathom why she has important files and paperwork in the utility, if anything happened to the washing machine it could all be ruined. Wouldn’t a filing cabinet be one of the first things you buy for a home office
THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW4 minutes in and I feel so sorry for her accountant. I know she films somewhat in advance, but the self-assessment deadline is in like a week.
The absolute pain of trying to turn around people's tax returns within the space of two weeks and they've had MONTHS to give you everything.
If I needed more excuse to think Helen is a knob.
Helen Anderson: deserves all her treats, air fries meats, ASOS #aff, not over Maff.
Hang in there!
VLOG SUMMARY: Setting things straigh & THE AIR FRYER | Weekly vlog #2
[Description: I got deep in organising my adult life. How did i get so bad? Then I got an air frier, best day of my life. ]
Helga's just been out for a run, now she's back panting into her chin mic... and now she's going BACK OUT to take the dogs for a walk. Seriously - why can't she do a jog with them and only go out ONCE ffs.
Back home again and Helga waddles down her garden path to her office, talking to herself, leaving the camera waiting. (I bleeping hate HelgaVision, it's so unsettling)
She's going to reshoot her 2020 favs video because she thought it was so shambolic and disorganized. She's waddling back now with a tripod. She says she wants to shoot another organisational video.
Cut to a butt view.
She says she's spent a lot of time trying to plan a schedule but has come to the conclusion that she's tit "I'm tit, I'm just tit, I'm tit at adulting"
She says she needs to sort out how she files things.
She says she wants to do even MORE planning and brainstorming.... (uhm...because that whole week of solidly planning went so well?)
She purchased a bunch of stationary and filing things on Amazon
Cut to later and her lunch is still frozen, she's now cooking a chili. (THE SLOW COOKER CHILI IS BACK FOLKS!!!)
More butt views as she's getting ready to organise her 'office tit'
Cut to her shutting the camera indoors as she waddles back down to her office, chatting more tit about what she needs to get to organise
She's annoyed every single time her dogs bark.
"the reasoning behind all of today is just out of.... a herh herh, disappointment in myself for being such a tit grown up"
She had her accountant asking for things from her over the last couple of weeks, and her 'mortgage lady' asking her for things "and I'm just like.... 'I dunno where any of that is, I can't find it'
Says she's terrible at keeping receipts for accounting
Says she's been self employed 'for a few years' and she's still tit at it
"I just want to clean up my act and stop being so tit at it!" So naturally she bought a bunch of tit of Amazon
"I got a hole puncher..... LOL!"
In the very dark lighting she shows us her 'adulting folder' it's so full it doesn't even close (just like the zips of her size 14 jeans)
She's got a plastic wallet for her receipts and also has a "rubbery one"
The idea is that when she drives to get petrol she can wack a receipt into a folder and say it was a work expense.
Cut to later and Filwhip is contributing to tonight's dinner by cooking rice. Helga wants to put a bunch of cheese on it
She asks Fil which cheese he wants, he wants both so they're having both. Helen says she might as well finish the packet up as there's only a little bit left
Dinner's done, Fil's off listening to TuPac (?) I think that's what she said in her chin mic, sounded more like "two pah", either way it made me bleeping laugh out loud.
Fil says something about MSN and she pisses herself laughing? I have no bleeping idea what he's mumbling and what she's screeching about
"I TALK TO BOOOOOYS ON MSN!!!" She squawks
"I talk to GIRLS on MSN" Fil replies
What a fun pair of idiots.
NEXT DAY
She thoroughly enjoyed yesterday's life admin organisation and then she did some of Fil's stuff (but not his personal tit cos 'he can sort that out')
Today she's got some BAND stuff she needs to do and she wants to reset up her blog as she's been really enjoying writing really long Instagram captions (on Fil's page
), and on Instagram there's only a limit to how much you can write, so she wants to just put it on a blog post
She wants to spend some time tidying her office and making sure everything is ready and that she has content ideas so she can just get it done.... (wasn't this why she took that time off? To get ready for the new year?)
Cut to.... another day? and she's saying that yesterday's life admin and organisation took WAYYYY longer than expected.
She says part of that was because she's switching banks and had to sort out all of the DDs and standing orders blah blah blah
She digs out a bit of ear gold and waves it around to fly off into the air
"I spent the evening finishing Bridgerton MY GOD THAT IS RAUNCHY!!!!" (thought you didn't watch things that are trendy, Helga?)
"SOOOO RAUNCHY!!!! LIKE I WAS TEXTING THE GIRLS, 'LIKE GIRLS I'M GETTIN' A LITTLE TURNED ON BY THIS!!!!!!'"
And now she's off out to take dogs for a walk
Cut to her after she did her reel which took her soooo long "I know why this is a thing of the past, this trend. COS ITS 'ARD!!!!!"
Off out again to Asda "out in the real world... what is this?" (don't act like you ain't been no where biatch)
Shopping done. She bloody loves scan and go, she can't believe that she's late to the party (she probably didn't use it at first because it was sooooooo popular)
Cut to her dealing with the state of her room with clothing all on the floor.
Now cut to her making burgers at home. Fil asks her what she's doing, she's eating a chip whilst she's trying to figure out how to cook the burgers (wait.... why is she eating chips before even putting the burgers on.... hold on.... is that a frozen chip she's munching on?)
She's talking food with Fil and we can hear her mouth salivating and smacking as she speaks
More lingering butt views as she sticks her whole head into the fridge
Laughs to Fil at the fact she has soooo many jars of gherkins... Fil doesn't care
She's cracked open the jar of gherkins and is munching away. No progress has been made on the burger yet, Helga's too busy sampling everything.
She has alcohol on the go. Standard.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS witch SOME KITCHEN UTENSILS?!?! She's manhandling the food, rolling it over and over in the hot frying pan with her ham fists. So bleeping gross.
"I boiled the chips for too long. I WANNA GET AN AIR FRYER. THEY SOUND GREAT" she says randomly.
Cut to a close up of her now eating the burger.
"I'VE NOT HAD A BURGER IN SOOOO LONG!"
"Oh yeah, you hardly ever have a beef burger"
"I HARDLY EVER HAVE A BEEF BURGER!"
....You went to bleeping McDonald's after getting your hair done in the middle of December. Remember? It was when Fil called you Jelly Belly.
NEXT DAY
Another butt shot.
Cut to in the car, she's at Curry's getting her air fryer and SHE OPENS THE DOOR TO YELL TO THE GUY "DO YOU WANT TO OPEN THE BOOT OR SHALL I DO IT?" bleeping close your door and let the guy dump off your air fryer, stop trying to breathe on him Helga - You're not even wearing a bleeping mask.
The sales guy says he can't because of contamination "OH CAN YOU NOT?!" yells Helga, as she rushes out the car to be near to the man
She's back in the car after breathing her covid breath everywhere, and she's sooooooo excited about this purchase that she has to confirm it again with Fil:
"WASN'T I SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS PURCHASE, FIL?"
"you were, yeah"
"I've been talking about air fryers for a while" (WHEN? WHERE?) "I fink that all of my conversations wiv Danni this week has been about air fryers..... because she's got one"
She screamed the house down this morning when she finally bought it
"Didn't I?" she checks again with Fil,
"Yeah."
"Where are we gonna go now?" HOME YOU bleeping IDIOT
"dunno" shrugs Fil "where do you wanna go?"
"He's 'avin a sandwich" Helga is distracted by food, "errrrr"
"no where to go" Says Fil, remembering that there's a bleeping PANDEMIC AND WE SHOULD ALL BE STAYING THE duck INDOORS
"no where to go" Sulks Helen, "dunno wot to do.... You wanna go home?"
"yeah."
Finally back home and she's set up the air fryer and says she needs to read the instructions.
She's rearranged her kitchen and then says she doesn't know how much she'll use the air fryer, if she doesn't use it a lot then it will go in a cupboard. Never to see the light of day again.
Cut to them now having "Dirty coffees" and by dirty coffee she means "it's got Bailey's in it ahahahahahaa!" ah yeah alcoholism IS amusing isn't it, Helga.
Cut to her making her homemade KFC. Watching her grab everything with her grubby little mitts honestly makes me feel ill
Says that Diane follows her around and is "such a greedy girl..... LIKE HER MUM!"
She's cracking open the beers now.
And that's the end!
[Description: I got deep in organising my adult life. How did i get so bad? Then I got an air frier, best day of my life. ]
Helga's just been out for a run, now she's back panting into her chin mic... and now she's going BACK OUT to take the dogs for a walk. Seriously - why can't she do a jog with them and only go out ONCE ffs.
Back home again and Helga waddles down her garden path to her office, talking to herself, leaving the camera waiting. (I bleeping hate HelgaVision, it's so unsettling)
She's going to reshoot her 2020 favs video because she thought it was so shambolic and disorganized. She's waddling back now with a tripod. She says she wants to shoot another organisational video.
Cut to a butt view.
She says she's spent a lot of time trying to plan a schedule but has come to the conclusion that she's tit "I'm tit, I'm just tit, I'm tit at adulting"
She says she needs to sort out how she files things.
She says she wants to do even MORE planning and brainstorming.... (uhm...because that whole week of solidly planning went so well?)
She purchased a bunch of stationary and filing things on Amazon
Cut to later and her lunch is still frozen, she's now cooking a chili. (THE SLOW COOKER CHILI IS BACK FOLKS!!!)
More butt views as she's getting ready to organise her 'office tit'
Cut to her shutting the camera indoors as she waddles back down to her office, chatting more tit about what she needs to get to organise
She's annoyed every single time her dogs bark.
"the reasoning behind all of today is just out of.... a herh herh, disappointment in myself for being such a tit grown up"
She had her accountant asking for things from her over the last couple of weeks, and her 'mortgage lady' asking her for things "and I'm just like.... 'I dunno where any of that is, I can't find it'
Says she's terrible at keeping receipts for accounting
Says she's been self employed 'for a few years' and she's still tit at it
"I just want to clean up my act and stop being so tit at it!" So naturally she bought a bunch of tit of Amazon
"I got a hole puncher..... LOL!"
In the very dark lighting she shows us her 'adulting folder' it's so full it doesn't even close (just like the zips of her size 14 jeans)
She's got a plastic wallet for her receipts and also has a "rubbery one"
The idea is that when she drives to get petrol she can wack a receipt into a folder and say it was a work expense.
Cut to later and Filwhip is contributing to tonight's dinner by cooking rice. Helga wants to put a bunch of cheese on it
She asks Fil which cheese he wants, he wants both so they're having both. Helen says she might as well finish the packet up as there's only a little bit left
Dinner's done, Fil's off listening to TuPac (?) I think that's what she said in her chin mic, sounded more like "two pah", either way it made me bleeping laugh out loud.
Fil says something about MSN and she pisses herself laughing? I have no bleeping idea what he's mumbling and what she's screeching about
"I TALK TO BOOOOOYS ON MSN!!!" She squawks
"I talk to GIRLS on MSN" Fil replies
What a fun pair of idiots.
NEXT DAY
She thoroughly enjoyed yesterday's life admin organisation and then she did some of Fil's stuff (but not his personal tit cos 'he can sort that out')
Today she's got some BAND stuff she needs to do and she wants to reset up her blog as she's been really enjoying writing really long Instagram captions (on Fil's page
), and on Instagram there's only a limit to how much you can write, so she wants to just put it on a blog post She wants to spend some time tidying her office and making sure everything is ready and that she has content ideas so she can just get it done.... (wasn't this why she took that time off? To get ready for the new year?)
Cut to.... another day? and she's saying that yesterday's life admin and organisation took WAYYYY longer than expected.
She says part of that was because she's switching banks and had to sort out all of the DDs and standing orders blah blah blah
She digs out a bit of ear gold and waves it around to fly off into the air
"I spent the evening finishing Bridgerton MY GOD THAT IS RAUNCHY!!!!" (thought you didn't watch things that are trendy, Helga?)
"SOOOO RAUNCHY!!!! LIKE I WAS TEXTING THE GIRLS, 'LIKE GIRLS I'M GETTIN' A LITTLE TURNED ON BY THIS!!!!!!'"
And now she's off out to take dogs for a walk
Cut to her after she did her reel which took her soooo long "I know why this is a thing of the past, this trend. COS ITS 'ARD!!!!!"
Off out again to Asda "out in the real world... what is this?" (don't act like you ain't been no where biatch)
Shopping done. She bloody loves scan and go, she can't believe that she's late to the party (she probably didn't use it at first because it was sooooooo popular)
Cut to her dealing with the state of her room with clothing all on the floor.
Now cut to her making burgers at home. Fil asks her what she's doing, she's eating a chip whilst she's trying to figure out how to cook the burgers (wait.... why is she eating chips before even putting the burgers on.... hold on.... is that a frozen chip she's munching on?)
She's talking food with Fil and we can hear her mouth salivating and smacking as she speaks
More lingering butt views as she sticks her whole head into the fridge
Laughs to Fil at the fact she has soooo many jars of gherkins... Fil doesn't care
She's cracked open the jar of gherkins and is munching away. No progress has been made on the burger yet, Helga's too busy sampling everything.
She has alcohol on the go. Standard.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS witch SOME KITCHEN UTENSILS?!?! She's manhandling the food, rolling it over and over in the hot frying pan with her ham fists. So bleeping gross.
"I boiled the chips for too long. I WANNA GET AN AIR FRYER. THEY SOUND GREAT" she says randomly.
Cut to a close up of her now eating the burger.
"I'VE NOT HAD A BURGER IN SOOOO LONG!"
"Oh yeah, you hardly ever have a beef burger"
"I HARDLY EVER HAVE A BEEF BURGER!"
....You went to bleeping McDonald's after getting your hair done in the middle of December. Remember? It was when Fil called you Jelly Belly.
NEXT DAY
Another butt shot.
Cut to in the car, she's at Curry's getting her air fryer and SHE OPENS THE DOOR TO YELL TO THE GUY "DO YOU WANT TO OPEN THE BOOT OR SHALL I DO IT?" bleeping close your door and let the guy dump off your air fryer, stop trying to breathe on him Helga - You're not even wearing a bleeping mask.
The sales guy says he can't because of contamination "OH CAN YOU NOT?!" yells Helga, as she rushes out the car to be near to the man
She's back in the car after breathing her covid breath everywhere, and she's sooooooo excited about this purchase that she has to confirm it again with Fil:
"WASN'T I SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS PURCHASE, FIL?"
"you were, yeah"
"I've been talking about air fryers for a while" (WHEN? WHERE?) "I fink that all of my conversations wiv Danni this week has been about air fryers..... because she's got one"
She screamed the house down this morning when she finally bought it
"Didn't I?" she checks again with Fil,
"Yeah."
"Where are we gonna go now?" HOME YOU bleeping IDIOT
"dunno" shrugs Fil "where do you wanna go?"
"He's 'avin a sandwich" Helga is distracted by food, "errrrr"
"no where to go" Says Fil, remembering that there's a bleeping PANDEMIC AND WE SHOULD ALL BE STAYING THE duck INDOORS
"no where to go" Sulks Helen, "dunno wot to do.... You wanna go home?"
"yeah."
Finally back home and she's set up the air fryer and says she needs to read the instructions.
She's rearranged her kitchen and then says she doesn't know how much she'll use the air fryer, if she doesn't use it a lot then it will go in a cupboard. Never to see the light of day again.
Cut to them now having "Dirty coffees" and by dirty coffee she means "it's got Bailey's in it ahahahahahaa!" ah yeah alcoholism IS amusing isn't it, Helga.
Cut to her making her homemade KFC. Watching her grab everything with her grubby little mitts honestly makes me feel ill
Says that Diane follows her around and is "such a greedy girl..... LIKE HER MUM!"
She's cracking open the beers now.
And that's the end!
When she’s sitting in the car after buying the air fryer and asks Fil where they can go next 
I have no words
I have no wordsThank you!Hang in there!
Haven't had as much time to keep up with this thread lately because of work but so proud that you've all raced through it and we're nearly onto the next one! Keeping her accountable
Right?! She honestly has no bleeping idea what lockdown and covid rules actually mean. Absolute bleeping idiot.When she’s sitting in the car after buying the air fryer and asks Fil where they can go next
What I want to know is who are all those butt shots for that she always has in her videos? Who does she think is enjoying them?
After she ate the pickle she wiped it* on her trousers I know we can all be a bit rank at times, but how can she leave this tit in?! Someone posted in The Ick about people picking their nose etc when they think you can't see - is that it? Does she think people don't notice?
* pickle juice fingers
I know we can all be a bit rank at times, but how can she leave this tit in?! Someone posted in The Ick about people picking their nose etc when they think you can't see - is that it? Does she think people don't notice?* pickle juice fingers
What stuff is she setting straight then? Bit click baity that title.
all she did was look for paperwork, eat meat in bread and buy an air fryer lol
ps her living room wallpaper looks like a cats hole.
all she did was look for paperwork, eat meat in bread and buy an air fryer lol
ps her living room wallpaper looks like a cats hole.
OKAY TATTLE... REALLY?????
We're talking about Helen's arse and it gives me THIS bleeping ADVERT
All I can think of is that "non-social distancing hippo" comment someone made
What a troll of an advert
We're talking about Helen's arse and it gives me THIS bleeping ADVERT
All I can think of is that "non-social distancing hippo" comment someone made
What a troll of an advert
Definitely clickbait after the whole Prada bag shebang on her home account I reckon.
She clearly has some sort of an ass thing going on...maybe Maff complimented her on it a lot or something.
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