That’s what I’m dealing with the lack of closure. How could he have loved me to end it so easy.
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This is a good idea! Give someone your phone and get them to delete his number, and all contact ways that you have with him. I’ve done it in the past and it’s killed me at the time but I’m so glad I did. It’s normal to feel crap and this covid situation isn’t helping, but things WILL get better, I promise you. They will . Big hugs fellow Truff hunter...Block them , this is what I did . The thought of a picture of him popping up with a new girl made me feel physically sick. I also made a new Facebook as I had so many of his family on my old account I just wanted to start a fresh . It’s my new Facebook which I hardly went on that he messaged me on . But just block to stop yourself looking , you’ll only hurt yourself checking on him . I blocked his Instagram & Facebook & deleted his phone number immediately so I wasn’t tempted to message him . My kind of way of coping is deleting everything , pictures the lot to kind of pretend they don’t exist or the memory doesn’t exist . But I get this doesn’t work for everyone . I absolutely hated my ex once he’d left so I didn’t want to cry over pictures anyway
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Gigi I don’t have any advice but I just want to say I’m so sorry you’re going through this
I often have wondered how you were getting on with your long distance situation as I hadn’t seen you on the covid thread in a long time, I had been hoping you had found a way to get to Florida.
You’re a strong person, you’ve got through the last year and you can get through this. Sending you lots of positivity x
I truly believe a break up is comparable to someone dying, as that person disappears from your life, in fact in your case I would say it is even worse as there is no closure and you can see him carry on his life. So its almost like the him you knew has died and a new one has lived on?
I think this a way of him running away from his own issues as others have said, just remember you did nothing wrong and you deserve to find true and lasting love. I know it's so cliche but life does get better and I'm sure he will regret his decision as time goes on. When that happens, he may try to get back into contact. But just think, does someone who really loves someone do anything to hurt them on purpose? Of course not!
My close friend is in such a bad relationship, her partner is not caring or loving at all and she keeps saying "its lockdown". At first I believed it but then he had his friends over to his house, so was totally okay with breaking lockdown, which begs the question, if he loved her why wouldn't he have her over if he is totally okay with his friends being over? One day she will realise, and I know it's going to be very hard for her when she realises.
You will be okay, I promise
I think this a way of him running away from his own issues as others have said, just remember you did nothing wrong and you deserve to find true and lasting love. I know it's so cliche but life does get better and I'm sure he will regret his decision as time goes on. When that happens, he may try to get back into contact. But just think, does someone who really loves someone do anything to hurt them on purpose? Of course not!
My close friend is in such a bad relationship, her partner is not caring or loving at all and she keeps saying "its lockdown". At first I believed it but then he had his friends over to his house, so was totally okay with breaking lockdown, which begs the question, if he loved her why wouldn't he have her over if he is totally okay with his friends being over? One day she will realise, and I know it's going to be very hard for her when she realises.
You will be okay, I promise
Thank youGigi I don’t have any advice but I just want to say I’m so sorry you’re going through this
I often have wondered how you were getting on with your long distance situation as I hadn’t seen you on the covid thread in a long time, I had been hoping you had found a way to get to Florida.
You’re a strong person, you’ve got through the last year and you can get through this. Sending you lots of positivity x
It’s sweet that you remember me from posting on that thread. I stopped posting there a while back because a few people had been quite cruel and it upset me, although the majority were kind including you. Looking back on my posts there, I truly never thought I’d be in this situation. I hate the saying life comes at you fast but it really doesIt really is grief, I remember reading a psychologist say that it triggers the same emotions in your brain as a bereavement. I didn’t understand then but I really do now. I would love him to get back in touch, if only to provide me with some closure, but I don’t think he will and that’s hard to come to terms with.I truly believe a break up is comparable to someone dying, as that person disappears from your life, in fact in your case I would say it is even worse as there is no closure and you can see him carry on his life. So its almost like the him you knew has died and a new one has lived on?
I think this a way of him running away from his own issues as others have said, just remember you did nothing wrong and you deserve to find true and lasting love. I know it's so cliche but life does get better and I'm sure he will regret his decision as time goes on. When that happens, he may try to get back into contact. But just think, does someone who really loves someone do anything to hurt them on purpose? Of course not!
My close friend is in such a bad relationship, her partner is not caring or loving at all and she keeps saying "its lockdown". At first I believed it but then he had his friends over to his house, so was totally okay with breaking lockdown, which begs the question, if he loved her why wouldn't he have her over if he is totally okay with his friends being over? One day she will realise, and I know it's going to be very hard for her when she realises.
You will be okay, I promise
Thank you for the support
and I hope your friend sees sense! It’s hard watching a friend go through that. 
Wont go into detail as I’ve posted my situation on other threads but in a nutshell; I got dumped out of the blue during 1st lockdown from a 4 year relationship.
Time does heal let me tell you. I feel like I’m getting back to my old ways and I even feel my more authentic self than I was in the relationship. It hurts like hell and 100% is a grieving process; to go from 100 to 0 is painful. I did miss him and the odd days I still do but I’m bound to because I spent a good part of my life with him, we discussed buying a house/marriage/having kids, what we’d called them. It sucks!
I wouldn’t go looking for answers because it will just break your heart even more. Now is a time to focus on you in the present. It will get better x
Time does heal let me tell you. I feel like I’m getting back to my old ways and I even feel my more authentic self than I was in the relationship. It hurts like hell and 100% is a grieving process; to go from 100 to 0 is painful. I did miss him and the odd days I still do but I’m bound to because I spent a good part of my life with him, we discussed buying a house/marriage/having kids, what we’d called them. It sucks!
I wouldn’t go looking for answers because it will just break your heart even more. Now is a time to focus on you in the present. It will get better x
It’s looking to me like there’s a 4 year common theme! 
I also was also dumped after a 4 year relationship! It was honestly like I experienced a death. Couldn’t eat, couldn’t think, would wake up in the morning and for a tiny second I’d forget and then I’d remember my new life without him and would cry and cry. It’s honestly the worst but it really does get better, you’ve just got to take it day by day.
Also definitely delete his number. I once got black out pissed (about 6 months later) and woke up, checked my messages and all I’d sent him was the gun emoji
- we legit hadn’t spoken since the day we broke up lol (and still haven’t since) not my finest hour...
Also definitely delete his number. I once got black out pissed (about 6 months later) and woke up, checked my messages and all I’d sent him was the gun emoji
- we legit hadn’t spoken since the day we broke up lol (and still haven’t since) not my finest hour...Exactly. Endless promises and declarations of love just to be dumped overnight. It’s so much to get your head around isn’t it? Sorry you’re dealing with it too.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Did he blame the lockdown? Going from constant contact to zero is SO hard. I’m annoying myself by automatically picking up my phone to look for messages from him, only to see his contact photo gone from WhatsApp because he blocked me.
What is it with the 4 year thing?! I am firmly in the can’t eat or sleep phase. It’s so good to hear similar situations where people have got over it because right now it feels like I never will. I had to laugh at the gun emoji thing!I’m sorryI also was also dumped after a 4 year relationship! It was honestly like I experienced a death. Couldn’t eat, couldn’t think, would wake up in the morning and for a tiny second I’d forget and then I’d remember my new life without him and would cry and cry. It’s honestly the worst but it really does get better, you’ve just got to take it day by day.
Also definitely delete his number. I once got black out pissed (about 6 months later) and woke up, checked my messages and all I’d sent him was the gun emoji
I can see myself doing the same thing if I don’t suck it up and delete his number
I got cheated on after a 3 year relationship. Looking back it was a bad relationship, we fought constantly but it was all I knew. He went out for the day with the girl he was seeing literally the day after he dumped me and put it on fb. He knew my parents (they didn’t like him 
) I was quite close to his mum and he was just really cruel to do it how he did. Went back and forth for about a year after he came crawling back and I was stupid enough to go back there. He ruined me for a good couple of years, I lost my confidence and just felt so sad.
I look back now and think wtf was I doing with him? I’ve seen him out and about and I just think what a loser I’m in a happy relationship now, about to get married but I was also happy on my own for a year and focused on myself first.
What I’m trying to say is time is a great healer and whenever you go to them dark places, just remind yourself that you will eventually be in a better place and you will find someone worth being with in the end. Thinking of you cos heartbreak is truly awful
) I was quite close to his mum and he was just really cruel to do it how he did. Went back and forth for about a year after he came crawling back and I was stupid enough to go back there. He ruined me for a good couple of years, I lost my confidence and just felt so sad. I look back now and think wtf was I doing with him? I’ve seen him out and about and I just think what a loser
I’m in a happy relationship now, about to get married but I was also happy on my own for a year and focused on myself first. What I’m trying to say is time is a great healer and whenever you go to them dark places, just remind yourself that you will eventually be in a better place and you will find someone worth being with in the end. Thinking of you cos heartbreak is truly awful
My heartbreak was about 11 years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday! I was very young my first love infact we had been together about 3 or 4 years he got a new job and all of a sudden it was like I didnt exist, not answering my calls hardly seeing me and when he did it was half arsed this was going on for a good few weeks, I was celebrating a big birthday and I heard nothing at all from him on the day untill about 7:30 he started calling me, I tit you not I ran to the phone in excitement only to be met with the sounds of him having sex with someone else. I was devastated, he had no idea she had called me on purpose so I would hear that, after that i cut all contact and never spoke or seen him again it was like my whole world had ended. Everywhere I went I was in fear I would bump into him, turned out they ended up getting together and staying together for a good few years untill she cheated on him with a co worker oh the karma.
Every single thing in our lives happen for a reason we dont know why at the time but trust what your journey is meant to be as much as it hurts now, had I stayed with that person I would never have my beautiful children or married to my now husband. You will move on you will be happy again I promise, for now cry your heart out as much as you can but dont ever cry over him again once your done that's the best advice I ever got. Xx
Every single thing in our lives happen for a reason we dont know why at the time but trust what your journey is meant to be as much as it hurts now, had I stayed with that person I would never have my beautiful children or married to my now husband. You will move on you will be happy again I promise, for now cry your heart out as much as you can but dont ever cry over him again once your done that's the best advice I ever got. Xx
When I was with my ex I must have had my heart broken a million times. We were on and off for 6 years. We were 15 when we first met. He was older than me and I lost my virginity to him. After a couple months he left me to get back with his ex. Then when I turned 16 he wanted me back and we got more serious. Then he cheated on me. I kept taking him back. I was under his spell for so long then he just kept hurting me, I'd go on a tangent and get my own back when we'd split up. He'd be hurt by the things I'd done when we'd split. We ended up being so toxic to one another.
I ended things finally with him 4 years ago. At the time it felt right but God I began to miss him. We always got back in contact with one another when we were down. If I was upset about something he'd be my go to person. We'd ring each other on our birthdays cos it felt right. Then one day I met my current boyfriend and all the achey feeling I had for my ex just went... I remember telling him id met someone and he begged me to come and meet him. I did and he asked for me back and I said no. Then that was it. We never spoke again.
4 years later I've got a new boyfriend and a baby. I've been with my current bf for nearly 3 years. I love him to bits. He's not my first love but I feel stronger for him than I did for my ex. I was heartbroken and ached for my ex for so long. It's weird how that feeling can just disappear when you meet the right person for you. Ill always have a special place for my ex in my heart, I still think about him, wonder if he's okay, will always care for him but I'd never go back. Wonder if he thinks the same about me
God it was weird to type that out
I ended things finally with him 4 years ago. At the time it felt right but God I began to miss him. We always got back in contact with one another when we were down. If I was upset about something he'd be my go to person. We'd ring each other on our birthdays cos it felt right. Then one day I met my current boyfriend and all the achey feeling I had for my ex just went... I remember telling him id met someone and he begged me to come and meet him. I did and he asked for me back and I said no. Then that was it. We never spoke again.
4 years later I've got a new boyfriend and a baby. I've been with my current bf for nearly 3 years. I love him to bits. He's not my first love but I feel stronger for him than I did for my ex. I was heartbroken and ached for my ex for so long. It's weird how that feeling can just disappear when you meet the right person for you. Ill always have a special place for my ex in my heart, I still think about him, wonder if he's okay, will always care for him but I'd never go back. Wonder if he thinks the same about me
God it was weird to type that out
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I was heartbroken at the end of 2019 and into 2020. It was only when lockdown hit that I started to feel better but it taught me so much.
I’ve been a lurker on many threads for a while now but never felt the need to post until I came across this. Most likely I will regret this but here goes...
I broke up with my ex of 6 years around 4 years ago. I was the one to end it and I got with someone new (admittedly) far too soon and although I’m still with said person, in my mind I’ve always compared the two even though I know it’s terrible of me to do so as they are both completely different men/relationships. I often think about my ex and have the urge to get in to touch (I haven’t). I recently found out he has moved on and it’s cut me deep to my core. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps deep down I always thought we’d end up back together, somehow? Or maybe I’m just bitter he has someone new. Weirdly when we broke up it didn’t bother me at all, I didn’t miss him, got annoyed when he tried to contact me etc. And yet now I’m utterly broken. Can’t eat, can’t sleep and when I do sleep I dream of him. It almost feels like these past few years have been one big blur and I’ve suddenly opened my eyes to what I done by ending things and getting with someone new too soon.
Don’t get me wrong we had our ups and downs when we were together but all I seem to think of is the good times we had. My current partner is lovely and I feel awful for even thinking this inside my head, let alone typing it out on the internet for all to see but I felt like I needed to get it off my chest.
I hope everyone with a broken heart will be on the mend soon
I broke up with my ex of 6 years around 4 years ago. I was the one to end it and I got with someone new (admittedly) far too soon and although I’m still with said person, in my mind I’ve always compared the two even though I know it’s terrible of me to do so as they are both completely different men/relationships. I often think about my ex and have the urge to get in to touch (I haven’t). I recently found out he has moved on and it’s cut me deep to my core. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps deep down I always thought we’d end up back together, somehow? Or maybe I’m just bitter he has someone new. Weirdly when we broke up it didn’t bother me at all, I didn’t miss him, got annoyed when he tried to contact me etc. And yet now I’m utterly broken. Can’t eat, can’t sleep and when I do sleep I dream of him. It almost feels like these past few years have been one big blur and I’ve suddenly opened my eyes to what I done by ending things and getting with someone new too soon.
Don’t get me wrong we had our ups and downs when we were together but all I seem to think of is the good times we had. My current partner is lovely and I feel awful for even thinking this inside my head, let alone typing it out on the internet for all to see but I felt like I needed to get it off my chest.
I hope everyone with a broken heart will be on the mend soon
oh darling! I bet that is such a head f*! I’m in two minds on what to say, I’ve been in a similar situation in the past & on one hand I was like I made my bed I need to lie in it, but the heart wants what it wants. But, you weren’t happy with ur ex to be able to move on so easily but now you’re thinking about your ex maybe you’re not happy deep down with your current partner? I’m sorry if it comes across as harsh I really don’t mean it too, just offering advice from a lady who’s been there(ish.)I’ve been a lurker on many threads for a while now but never felt the need to post until I came across this. Most likely I will regret this but here goes...
I broke up with my ex of 6 years around 4 years ago. I was the one to end it and I got with someone new (admittedly) far too soon and although I’m still with said person, in my mind I’ve always compared the two even though I know it’s terrible of me to do so as they are both completely different men/relationships. I often think about my ex and have the urge to get in to touch (I haven’t). I recently found out he has moved on and it’s cut me deep to my core. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps deep down I always thought we’d end up back together, somehow? Or maybe I’m just bitter he has someone new. Weirdly when we broke up it didn’t bother me at all, I didn’t miss him, got annoyed when he tried to contact me etc. And yet now I’m utterly broken. Can’t eat, can’t sleep and when I do sleep I dream of him. It almost feels like these past few years have been one big blur and I’ve suddenly opened my eyes to what I done by ending things and getting with someone new too soon.
Don’t get me wrong we had our ups and downs when we were together but all I seem to think of is the good times we had. My current partner is lovely and I feel awful for even thinking this inside my head, let alone typing it out on the internet for all to see but I felt like I needed to get it off my chest.
I hope everyone with a broken heart will be on the mend soon
Been reading all your stories and having a good cry 
it helps to see the insight of others. I’m having a particularly crappy day today, trying to keep busy but he’s all I can think about. It’s only been 3 days since he blocked me but that’s the longest we’ve gone no contact since the day we met and my god am I feeling it
it helps to see the insight of others. I’m having a particularly crappy day today, trying to keep busy but he’s all I can think about. It’s only been 3 days since he blocked me but that’s the longest we’ve gone no contact since the day we met and my god am I feeling itDon’t apologise, not harsh at all as I know this myself and agree. I have made my bed and feel I have no right to be upset he’s moved on and yet my heart still hurts. I feel like I don’t know what I want in life. My current partner is amazing and we are doing great, I love him but don’t think I’m in love with him if that makes sense? I can’t help but feel like something is missing so perhaps I’m not as happy as I wish. I feel cruel on him writing this
I think (personally) it’s better to cut things right off, (I concede men are better than women at this) none of you need a boyfriend pissing around with your emotions for weeks / months on end.
I also know it feels like a bereavement but be bloody thankful that it’s not, as losing your partner/ husband/wife is not something I would wish on anyone
I also know it feels like a bereavement but be bloody thankful that it’s not, as losing your partner/ husband/wife is not something I would wish on anyone
I know entirely what you mean I really do. My last ex ( the one who left me recently ) I forgave so much and made do with my feelings just because I knew he was a decent guy - deep down (mine wasn’t tho) but I let the feeling of content mean more about the feeling of me being happy. I wasn’t crazy in love with him but I was kinda happy if I stayed with him forever just purely because I thought I’d rather be ok with someone than ok on my own. I don’t think it makes any sense but as you say, it’s therapeutic sometimes just writing it out.
Don’t feel cruel, it helps to voice things out loud/write them down. I’ve been in a relationship in the past where I loved him but I wasn’t IN love, and I think a lot more people are in that situation than you’d think. Most are just afraid to admit it. I’ve only actually been IN love once in my 30+ years :/
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