Harry Baron & Melissa Tattam

[bwaldorf]

Currently watching her most recent vlog (*insert Cersei shame gif here*) and marvelling at how shit her style is.

She called this..... item unique:

She said it wasn't fitted enough for her. I don't think she will be satisfied until all her clothes are tight enough that she has to be cut out of them.

This is apparently not cowgirl cosplay but according to Melissa, very cute:

My screenshots aren't truly capturing the ruffly monstrosity which is the top of the dress.

And for those of you waiting with bated breath for an update on Melissa's one woman mission to clutter her flat with expensive crap:

 

[Very traditional]

She's ridiculous honestly. In her home update vlog she said that a vintage Fendi case/trunk is affordable because it doesn't cost as much as a Louis Vuitton trunk. Spending upwards of £1k (she didn't say what she paid but I saw a similar one on eBay) on decor is insane and not affordable for 99.9% of people. She also bought a huge Diptyque candle with the intention of never burning it because it's 'toxic'. Spending 200 quid on a candle you'll never burn is just... madness.

She's dull, ignorant and a snob but I can't stop hate watching her for some reason

Sort of off topic sorry, but in her newest vlog she's broken the lockdown rules as her and Harry stayed the night at her parent's house!

In one of her previous videos she talked about lockdown being over (why does no one understand the difference between it being eased and it being over??) and how she could go and see her family now because of the new support bubble guidance and when someone rightly commented that it didn't apply to her because she's not a single person she just replied 'interesting'!

That person who corrected her on the support bubbles said this on the newest vlog:

View attachment 163209

I'm just astounded at how thick she is?! Either thick or she doesn't give a shit. I'm sure this comment will be deleted even though the person was overly polite, and she'll probably just delete the video rather than admit she was wrong.

I'm so sick of all these influencers thinking they're above the rules and being stupid enough to record themselves doing so.

I really do think they think the rules don’t apply to them - from the MIC lot this is the rule breaking that I’m aware of, I’m sure there’s plenty more:

Jamie and Habbs isolated in a rented holiday home in the cotswolds but went back and for to Jamie’s mums house then to London where they had a party wi emily, Lottie Moss, that girl who was dating miles last season who was Emily’s friend plus various other

verity and Amelia were at house parties with that Freddie & Angus who was in it a few seasons ago (not fit viking Fred, the other one),

miles attended parties with his friends

Toff went to parties

Tiff was spotted with random people

Sam and Louise claimed that they live in the same housw which they don’t really do theyX they’re next door neighbours

it’s how blatant they are that annoys me, like they’re rubbing it in our faces that they’re above the law while we all stick to the rules!

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

She actually makes Louise Thompson look interesting.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Well that suitcase is LV so it can't go in a cupboard, people wouldn't see it then!!

And the books are definitely for show and won't have been opened, Melissa said last week she's dyslexic and has never read a book before and Harry said that he struggles with reading but was attempting audio books.

Really sad that their home is all for Instagram!!

It’s not even LV, it’s Fendi and fucking ghastly. It’s something I’d expect in one of those awful MLM claiming to be FX trader’s short term leased office.

That flat wants 80% of its contents clearing out

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

They contacted the agent and they said there is no clause stating the post had to remain- you would think it’s a given but not for no morals Melissa. It’s so much money and they didn’t even get any sales or followers so she must spend her fees on buying hers can’t believe she’s done it before, how are brands still using her??? Infuriating

hun If your friend wants a guide of what to ask agents / influencers for in the future to measure the effectiveness of her spend let me know, I would write it up now but trapped under a baby I’m trying to get back down to bed.

It winds me up how influencers really do sell snake oil. At 130k followers let’s call her fee £1,800 let’s assume your mate’s avg basket value is £20 with a margin of 40% so £8 profit per order Mel would need to convert 225 of her audience for ur mate to even break even? That’s a conversion rate of 0.17% which is pretty low for influencer marketing especially with a relatively small following the fact she couldn’t manage it is weak. If your mate has actual numbers she wants help figuring out happy to help x

 

[lilamay]

Just realised who he reminded me of

 

[Toffgoner2020]

Her parents brought her and her sister a flat in that building, she mentioned it on one of her vlogs a while ago. So both her and Harry don’t pay rent, but still, she buys so much!

And also quote Jaimie Laing about Harry on MIC “he mooches off Melissa and hasn’t made any money of his own”

 

[lilamay]

Harry has a similar jacket

 

[lilamay]

Harry is King of Sleaze. He really gives me the ick.

Also, look at his new haircut

ETA - I wonder if Melissa watches The Mating Game (or saw it through Gogglebox) - it had albatross on it last week!

 

[holden9]

The new bf does nothing for me

 

[Musings30]

It's been a while since anyone posted, but I thought I'd dip into this thread out of curiosity about Melissa and how the hell someone so thick has bought/is renovating her own home. She really is testament to the myth of meritocracy. Okay so obviously I know her parents are funding the house, but I didn't realise JUST how stinking rich they were. Turns out her dad is the CEO of a storage solutions company. I bet she also made a pretty penny from the sale of her Battersea Power Station flat.

Her bikini company has also been dissolved (as of January this year) so I guess her only income streams now are that terrible podcast, the sponsored Insta posts she quickly deletes after uploading (lol) and the Bank of Mummy and Daddy.

I sometimes try to imagine a universe where the likes of Melissa and Yas would have to cope in the real world of real jobs. How on earth would they function?!!

 

[bwaldorf]

I love your recap of these vlogs so much, I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube cos of night feeds with a newborn, I might add her to my roster again!

That candle was gifted to a lot of “luxe” influencers so that’s an undeclared freebie. Fuck knows where she’ll put it in that tiny flat, she wants to be careful it doesn’t set the balcony wardrobe alight

Ty Maybe not the best videos to watch if you need to stay awake to feed your little one! If anyone has trouble falling asleep though, Melissa's your gal.

Every vlog is basically Melissa:

• Telling us her and Harry went for a morning walk but not showing it
• Making egg white porridge for breakfast (and throwing the yolks in the bin, wtf)
• Eating ginger biscuits as a snack and treating us to a lovely view inside her mouth while she chews with her mouth open (surely an actual posh person wouldn't do this?!)
• Trying on clothes with her hideous cowboy boots and complaining everything is too big for her (in her most recent vlog a pair of jeans were too tight and she exlaimed that never normally happens, like ever )
• Showing us her hair after she's curled it (even though she had a perm done recently... what was the point??)
• Saying she's going out for food or for a drink with mates but not showing any of it

and so on...

And interesting about the candle being free... I wasn't paying full attention but I'm sure she made it seem like she bought it. That's shady if she didn't. Freebie or not, I don't understand the appeal of a wax snatch in your living room.

 

[Cockleshell Bay]

There is something about him which is very smarmy. I think she dumped him which is why he is putting on this act of rolling in money and putting on pictures of him ‘enjoying’ himself. He is a total player.

 

[lilamay]

She must hate the fact that her most liked pics by far are the ones with Zara!

Oh look, she's on holiday. Look how happy smug she is.

Tried listening to her and Sophie's podcast but my god it's painful. And she came across as racist when she was talking about how one of Harry's ex's accents shocked her: 'She came up to me once - I've never met the girl in my life - thought she was English - so she had this like weird accent for a start, and I was like golly! - that took me back!'"

 

[Clover123]

Ambience vibes. The name alone is a harbinger of doom. No wonder they broke up. Who will get all the bland off white hoodies now?!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

That video was quite hilarious..”sometimes I come out here and get inspired and take pictures of the view” of building work

I got those awkward David Brent vibes off them both all the way through this video lol

Although I have to commend them, having lived in London years ago they really have made the most out of the little space in the flat. The decors a little bland but it’s still nice. The fire I hate though, I think those contraptions are on the way out.

They take themselves far too seriously, I used to run in the same circles as Harry circa 2009 and he hasn’t changed one bit. I did always assume he batted for the other team despite his womanising ways

I’ve lived in a tiny studio flat, which was bigger than this (I don’t think I’ve ever seen a flat this small and I’ve been in London my whole life minus uni), but you have to cut your cloth... They’re ramming it full of clothes it’s just not sustainable.

The fire is just ghastly but they speak to it like it’s art. The whole flat looks like a Hollyoaks set tbh like the new bad boy who owns the club would live here.

Is he a lot older than her?

 

[Cockleshell Bay]

Anyone else find Harry on Instagram really sleazy, he is like a bad 80s banker.

 

[lilamay]

Guess it figures that someone who wears fur (that neck collar is fox fur, the bloody Tory), has tons of leather, consumes a lot of meat, etc, isn't very aware of animals.

 

[Clover123]

The new bf does nothing for me

To be fair, anyone would be preferable to slimy Harry

Whyyyy would you walk into your new boyfriend's family bathroom fully naked?! She has to be an exhibitionist

 

[lilamay]

She started a swimwear line and the sizes were something like size 0 to a 8/10
Had no interest in normal sizes as it wasn’t inclusive

Exclusive not inclusive (she’s fat from inclusive)

Assuming you meant 'far' but it's a fitting typo