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The Tipsy Titian

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DORIA WAS STAYING with us, waiting for the baby to come.
Neither she nor Meg ever strayed far. None of us did. We all just sat around waiting, going for the occasional walk, looking at the cows.
When Meg was a week past her due date, the comms team and the Palace began pressuring me. When’s the baby coming? The press can’t wait forever, you know. Oh. The press is getting frustrated? Heaven forbid! Meg’s doctor had tried several homeopathic ways to get things moving, but our little visitor was just intent on staying put.
We got into a nondescript people-carrier and crept away from Frogmore without alerting any of the journalists stationed at the gates. It was the last sort of vehicle they suspected we’d be riding in. A short time later we arrived at the Portland Hospital and were spirited into a secret lift, then into a private room.
Our doctor walked in, talked it through with us, and said it was time to induce.
Meg was so calm. I was calm too.
But I saw two ways of enhancing my calm. One: Nando’s chicken. (Brought by our bodyguards.) Two: A canister of laughing gas beside Meg’s bed. I took several slow, penetrating hits. Meg, bouncing on a giant purple ball, a proven way of giving Nature a push, laughed and rolled her eyes. I took several more hits and now I was bouncing too.
When her contractions began to quicken, and deepen, a nurse came and tried to give some laughing gas to Meg. There was none left. The nurse looked at the tank, looked at me, and I could see the thought slowly dawning: Gracious, the husband’s had it all.
Sorry, I said meekly.
Meg laughed, the nurse had to laugh, and quickly changed the canister.
Meg climbed into a bath, I turned on soothing music.
In our overnight bag we had the same electric candles I’d arranged in the garden the night I proposed. Now I placed them around the hospital room. I also set a framed photo of my mother on a little table. Meg’s idea.
Time passed. Hour melted into hour. Minimal dilation. Meg was doing a lot of deep breathing for pain.
Then the deep breathing stopped working.
She was in so much pain that she needed an epidural. The anesthetist hurried in.
Off went the music, on went the lights. Whoa. Vibe change. He gave her an injection at the base of her spine. Still the pain didn’t let up. The medicine apparently wasn’t getting where it needed to go. He came back, did it again. Now things both quietened and accelerated.
Her doctor came back two hours later, slipped both hands into a pair of rubber gloves.
This is it, everybody. I stationed myself at the head of the bed, holding Meg’s hand, encouraging her.
Push, my love. Breathe.
The doctor gave Meg a small hand mirror.

I tried not to look, but I had to.
I glanced, saw a reflection of the baby’s head emerging. Stuck. Tangled. Oh, no, please, no.
The doctor looked up, her mouth set in a particular way. Things were getting serious.
I said to Meg: My love, I need you to push. I didn’t tell her why. I didn’t tell her about the cord, didn’t tell her about the likelihood of an emergency C-section.
I just said: Give me everything you’ve got. And she did.
I saw the little face, the tiny neck and chest and arms, wriggling, writhing. Life, life—amazing! I thought, Wow, it really all begins with a struggle for freedom. A nurse swept the baby into a towel and placed him on Meg’s chest and we both cried to see him, meet him. A healthy little boy, and he was here. Our ayurvedic doctor had advised us that, in the first minute of life, a baby absorbs everything said to them. So whisper to the baby, tell the baby your wish for him, your love. Tell. We told.
I don’t remember phoning anyone, texting them. I remember watching the nurses run tests on my hour-old son, and then we were out of there. Into the lift, into the underground car park, into the people-carrier, and gone.
Within two hours of our son being born we were back at Frogmore.
After a few hours I was standing outside the stables at Windsor, telling the world: It’s a boy.
Days later we announced the name to the world. Archie.
The papers were incensed. They said we’d pulled a fast one on them. Indeed we had. They felt that, in doing so, we’d been…bad partners?
Astonishing. Did they still think of us as partners? Did they really expect special consideration, preferential treatment—given how they’d treated us these last three years? And then they showed the world what kind of “partners” they really were. A BBC radio presenter posted a photo on his social media—a man and a woman holding hands with a chimpanzee. The caption read: Royal baby leaves hospital.


Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.
"our little visitor" ????? Who describes a baby like that? Is he saying the baby was only visiting and then went, back to his real family?
 
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Meemew

VIP Member
God I’m so sick of hearing about these two, can they pleeeease just FUCK OFF NOW!!!!!!
 
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Ndrangheta

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When are these lying, cheating, hateful arseholes going to get their just deserts? If it doesn't happen what's the point of any of us living an honest life? Caring about people? Working hard? Honestly, whats the point? We may as well just become back-stabbing grifters and shaft everyone we come into contact with in order to feather our own nests. Why not just become liars, hypocrites and use people? They are proving that it's the best way to get rich and famous. When is there going to be some major push back? Why are some people actually giving them sympathy and a free-pass? It's sickening and making me question my own views on life and how a person should act and live. If by the end of the year these two are still around, getting rich and appearing on TV I'm going to change the way I live and become a complete bastard of a man.
 
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wibble

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Giles Coren is trending...

" Giles Coren on the radio: “Harry is a barely-functioning man with an IQ in the middle 90s, who wouldn’t be able to get a job in the real world.” "

Oh...
 
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The Wicked Lady

VIP Member
We must ask @Anna2020 if she is ok!
That much sugar is not healthy for anyone and when the sugar is used to disguise the taste of poison it is even worse.

Thank you for taking one for the team, you deserve a mushy :m
 
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Kezzle1

Chatty Member
He seems to make extremely wild assumptions of what people really mean, particularly William, when they try to offer advice! For example

"Among all the different, riotous emotions coursing through my brother that afternoon, one really jumped out at me. He seemed aggrieved. He seemed put upon that I wasn’t meekly obeying him, that I was being so impertinent as to deny him, or defy him, to refute his knowledge, which came from his trusted aides."

His mind is definitely not right.

He seems quite bouncy in the Colbert interview after the seriousness of the other 3 interviews!
 
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monicalewinsky

Well-known member
If Megatron could afford a first class ticket from
Mexico to the UK, she could afford to pay for a full price sofa from sofa.com 😂
 
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wisebutwild

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I’m still shaking my head in disbelief at what I have heard and read. If life is so good and the RF and the UK so bad why does he want any part of it? But yet here he is still gripping on to the Titles, willing to help with the Commonwealth, wanting his Pa and his brother back, reconciliation …… if I had been treated like ‘his truth’ tells us I would have turned my back on all of it and walked off into the sunset.
If he has been taking drugs for 25 years then I fear there will be no way back and it will all end in tragedy. He appears to not want help, or is being prevented from getting the right help he needs, and is on the slippery slope. Seeing him like this and having to just stand and watch must be heartbreaking for his family.
 
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Diagnosis123

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He got one hell of an applause as he bounded onto the Colbert stage, with screams from the crowd as they chanted "Harry, Harry, Harry!"
new1.gif
 
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LadyMuck

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MEG AND I MOVED our office into Buckingham Palace. We also moved into a new home. Frogmore was ready. We loved that place. From the first minute. It felt as if we were destined to live there.
We couldn’t wait to wake up in the morning, go for a long walk in the gardens, check in with the swans. Especially grumpy Steve. We met the Queen’s gardeners, got to know their names and the names of all the flowers. They thrilled at how much we appreciated, and praised, their artistry.
Towards the end of April 2019, days before Meg was due to give birth, Willy rang.
Something had happened between him and Pa and Camilla. I couldn’t get the whole story, he was talking too fast, and was way too upset.
He was seething actually. I gathered that Pa and Camilla’s people had planted a story or stories about him and Kate, and the kids, and he wasn’t going to take it anymore. Give Pa and Camilla an inch, he said, they take a mile.
They’ve done this to me for the last time.
I got it. They’d done the same to me and Meg as well.
But it wasn’t them, technically, it was the most gung-ho member of Pa’s comms team, a true believer who’d devised and launched a new campaign of getting good press for Pa and Camilla at the expense of bad press for us. For some time this person had been peddling unflattering stories, fake stories, about the Heir and Spare, to all the papers
I suspected that this person had been the lone source for stories about a hunting trip I’d made to Germany in 2017, stories that made me out
to be some fat-bottomed seventeenth-century baron who craved blood and trophies,
when in reality I was working with German farmers to cull wild boar and save their crops.
I believed the story had been offered as a straight swap, in exchange for greater access to Pa, and also as a reward for the suppression of stories about Camilla’s son, who’d been gadding around London, generating tawdry rumors. I was displeased about being used like this, and livid about it being done to Meg, but I had to admit it was happening much more often lately to Willy.
And he was justifiably incandescent. He’d already confronted Pa once about this woman, face-to-face. I’d gone along for moral support. The scene took place at Clarence House, in Pa’s study. I remember the windows being wide open, the white curtains blowing in and out, so it must’ve been a warm night.
Willy put it to Pa: How can you be letting a stranger do this to your sons?
Pa instantly got upset.
He began shouting that Willy was paranoid. We both were. Just because we were getting bad press, and he was getting good, that didn’t mean his staff was behind it.
But we had proof. Reporters, inside actual newsrooms, assuring us that this woman was selling us out.
Pa refused to listen. His response was churlish, pathetic. Granny has her person, why can’t I have mine? By Granny’s person he meant Angela. Among the many services she performed for Granny, she was said to be skilled at planting stories.
What a rubbish comparison, Willy said. Why would anyone in their right mind, let alone a grown man, want their own Angela?
But Pa just kept saying it. Granny had her person, Granny had her person. High time he had a person too.
I was glad that Willy felt he could still come to me about Pa and Camilla, even after all we’d been through recently. Seeing an opportunity to address our recent tensions, I tried to connect what Pa and Camilla had done to him with what the press had done to Meg.
Willy snapped: I’ve got different issues with you two!
In a blink he shifted all his rage onto me. I can’t recall his exact words, because I was beyond tired from all our fighting, to say nothing of the recent move into Frogmore, and into new offices—and I was focused on the imminent birth of our first child. But I recall every physical detail of the scene. The daffodils out, the new grass sprouting, a jet taking off from Heathrow, heading west, unusually low, its engines making my chest vibrate. I remember thinking how remarkable that I could still hear Willy above that jet.
I couldn’t imagine how he had that much anger left after the confrontation in Nott Cott. He was going on and on and I lost the thread. I couldn’t understand and I stopped trying. I fell silent, waiting for him to subside.
Then I looked back. Meg was coming from the house, directly towards me. I quickly took the phone off speaker, but she’d already heard. And Willy was being so loud, even with the speaker off, she could still hear. The tears in her eyes glistened in the spring sunshine. I started to say something, but she stopped, shook her head. Holding her stomach, she turned and walked back to the house.


Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.
So Camilla 's son also gets slated.
 
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ChastityDingle

VIP Member
'The tears in her eyes glistened in the spring sunshine'
What the actual fuck is this pish? An autobiography or a chick-lit book..im beginning to think she has been in his ear with this book, no way would a man think that


Jesus fucking wept.
BIB - In his ear? She wrote the damn thing, imo. 🤣
All those descriptions of her absolute beauty for starters, and the likes of this piece of drivel 🤣

'She reminded me in a whisper, as if someone might be listening, that she’d taken a handwriting class in high school, and as a result she’d always had excellent penmanship. People complimented her. She’d even used this skill at university to earn spare money. Nights, weekends, she’d inscribed wedding and birthday-party invitations, to pay the rent. Now people were trying to say that this was some kind of window into her soul? And the window was dirty?'
 
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Harry is saying that he and William were never as close as the public believed yet in the next breath he was hurt that they didn’t have him over for dinner every night?
He goes on to say that since their mothers death they have lead completely separate lives yet there is untold footage available of the many, many engagements they carried out as a trio where they all looked to be very close and having fun together?
I don’t doubt that he hasn’t harboured jealously towards William but I think Meghan has twisted this in his head. I believe he is a very damaged individual but my sympathy is for TRF who IMO have tried their very best.
 
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LadyMuck

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Where the hell is social services? All this drug-taking with small children around ... makes no fucking sense to me. Someone in the Montecito area needs to make a phone-call and report him. Presumably Dorito is around the kids too ... a convicted drug dealer? Allegedly.
And remember when noone could get hold of them to inform them that PP had died. I bet they were coked out
 
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She asked if I wanted to see Granny.
Yes…I do.
She led me upstairs, to Granny’s bedroom.
I braced myself, went in. The room was dimly lit, unfamiliar—I’d been inside it only once in my life.
I moved ahead uncertainly, and there she was.
I stood, frozen, staring. I stared and stared. It was difficult, but I kept on, thinking how I’d regretted not seeing my mother at the end.
Years of lamenting that lack of proof, postponing my grief for want of proof.
Now I thought: Proof. Careful what you wish for.
I whispered to her that I hoped she was happy, that I hoped she was with Grandpa. I said that I was in awe of her carrying out her duties to the last. The Jubilee, the welcoming of a new prime minister.
On her ninetieth birthday my father had given a touching tribute, quoting Shakespeare on Elizabeth I: …no day without a deed to crown it. Ever true.
I left the room, went back along the corridor, across the tartan carpet, past the statue of Queen Victoria. Your Majesty.
I rang Meg, told her I’d made it, that I was OK, then walked into the sitting room and ate dinner with most of my family, though still no Pa, Willy, or Camilla.
Towards the end of the meal, I braced myself for the bagpipes. But out of respect for Granny there was nothing. An eerie silence. The hour getting late, everyone drifted off to their rooms, except me. I went on a wander, up and down the stairs, the halls, ending up at the nursery. The old-fashioned basins, the tub, everything the same as it had been twenty-five years ago.
I passed most of the night time-traveling in my thoughts while trying to make actual travel arrangements on my phone.
The quickest way back would’ve been a lift with Pa or Willy…
Barring that, it was British Airways, departing Balmoral at daybreak.
I bought a seat and was among the first to board.
Soon after settling into a front row, I sensed a presence on my right. Deepest sympathies, said a fellow passenger before heading down the aisle. Thank you. Moments later, another presence. Condolences, Harry. Thanks…very much. Most passengers stopped to offer a kind word, and I felt a deep kinship with them all.
Our country, I thought.
Our Queen.


Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.
Shame he hadn't seen fit to go and see TQ while she was still alive despite numerous invites :mad:
 
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Kezzle1

Chatty Member
Also this part

The anesthetist hurried in.
Off went the music, on went the lights. Whoa. Vibe change. He gave her an injection at the base of her spine. Still the pain didn’t let up. The medicine apparently wasn’t getting where it needed to go. He came back, did it again. Now things both quietened and accelerated.


They were reluctant to give me an epidural as they said it actually slows the process down?
 
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