Harry and Meghan #298 The half price Prince

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He's like a 14 year old love sick puppy. And still is
 
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Nope I’m off again…
 
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I'm behind, but I've taken to watching Upstairs, Downstairs as it's more true to life (Mrs Bridges has just stolen a baby, for those who care)

We don't have the emojis for this, so take note anytime I react to anything on this thread my face will almost certainly look like this:

https://giphy.com/JSueytO5O29yM
 
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Fastest selling book, blah blah....

I asked in WH Smith's how many books had been sold. 3!!!!! Tbf it is Wales and the royals aren't exactly popular, but bloody 3.

Am kind of proud of people locally shunning it
 
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With his she's perfect she's perfect and her heart going pump pump they are a regular rythm section aint they.
 
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even turning down a very dreamy bike trip through the lavender fields of southern France…

 
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I have never in my life read Mills & Boone but from what I have heard from those taking the piss, this ‘work’ is right down their street.
 
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I have a question what moron would go and queue up to buy the book at WH Smiths or Waterstones when you can order it from amazon?
 
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Did anyone ever see Kevin Bridges' "Did ye, aye?" routine, describing how he would, in his unmistakably no-bullshit Glaswegian way, listen to pampered celebrities if he were a chat show host, and utter that line when they droned on about finding themselves, etc. Harry and Meghan would be perfect candidates for this treatment. Would love to see it
 
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Reached the end of the last thread and need to come up for air. However, with a documented 20 year history of cannabis use, I am just leaving this here. i can’t believe that we’re 6 days down the line from the Markles leaking the dogbowlgate to the guardian and still things get more farcical and infuriating by the day.
 
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Then I looked at the Jet Ski. Floating on its side. Shit. My iPhone! With all my photos! And phone numbers! MEG! The Jet Ski came to rest on the sandbar. We flipped it right and I grabbed my phone from the console. Soaked. Ruined. All the photos Meg and I had taken! Plus all our texts! I’d known this lads’ trip would be wild, so I’d sent some photos to Meg and other mates before leaving, as a precaution. Still, the rest were surely lost. More, how was I going to be in touch with her? Adi said not to worry, we’d put the phone in rice, a surefire way to dry it out. Hours later, the moment we got back to camp, that was just what we did. We submerged the phone in a big bucket of uncooked white rice. I looked down, highly dubious. How long will this take? Day or two. No good. I need a solution now. Mike and I worked out a plan. I could write a letter to Meg, which he’d take home with him to Maun. Teej could then photograph the letter and text it to Meg. (She had Meg’s number on her phone: I’d given it to her when she first went to collect Meg from the airport.) Now I just had to write that letter. The first challenge was finding a pen among that bunch of muppets. Does anyone have a pen? A what? A pen. I’ve got an EpiPen! No! A pen. A biro! My kingdom for a biro! Oh. A biro. Wow. Somehow I found one. The next challenge was finding a place to compose. I went off under a tree. I thought. I stared into space. I wrote: Hey Beautiful. OK you got me—can’t stop thinking about you, missing you, LOTS. Phone went in river. Sad face…Apart from that, having an amazing time. Wish u were here. Mike left, letter in hand.

Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.
 
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With his she's perfect she's perfect and her heart going pump pump they are a regular rythm section aint they.

“The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang. The whole rhythm section was a purple gang”
 
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Can imagine all the comedians having fun with this. Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Carr, Norton etc. He's given them enough material for a year
 
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Amazing coincidence, just amazing. Hmm, just think, one day when the kids are off their hands, they can sling a phrase book, a Rick Steves Guidebook to Clichéd American Secret Not Secret at All Getaways and a change of sundresses in the saddlebags and pedal off through the lavender fields in homage to the beginning of their greatest love story. Ahhhh.
 
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She was aglow??? Definitely smegz writing
Someone saw that she was one of the wicked witches, water didn't work so they went the old-fashioned way.


New thread yay! And love the title!


Couldn't post in the last thread:

Oh so many jokes. My phone battery had to be low right now.

https://giphy.com/3o7qDQ4kcSD1PLM3BK
*cracks knuckles and warms up fingertips waiting for phone to charge*

What an intro. Give him a Pulitzer just for that. Did they get an AI to write it?

So he had a heart attack the first time they met? Leaving aside the hyperbole, what happened when he saw her without makeup the first time? And yeah, people say that, it's a common-ish expression, but it sounds sooo trite. (Just remembered that scene in We Bought a Zoo where the dad is telling his kids about the first time he saw their mom, and just stopped and stared before he built up the courage to go talk to her - that was beautiful! )

Who tries to unders ..you are meeting your date and .. I get feeling nervous or feeling butterflies, but who stands there trying to 'understand' it?

Couldn't understand more data. Yeah, here we get you Sparry. You and your tiny brain.

Left her luggage at Soho House...bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Way to our your wife as the Ho she is

Her many careers You forgot yachting, Sparry. But maybe she counts it as an extra-curricular? Wouldn't want to share those singles with the IRS, would she?

Argentina. *snorts*

All part of the plan. The plan to catch herself the richest idiot she could, play-act being a humanitarian and live a super-glam life off someone else's hard work and wealth forever.


Even the modern Mills and Boon's are better written. Can't say who's written this - not Sparry, but either TW or the ghostwriter or a staff member who were pissed off with her. It comes off as 'OMG Smegs is an angelllllll - so beautiful, so smart, so intelligent, the best at everything!!!' on the surface, but seems to lack any warmth or real affection.

It sounds like my ex in the lovebombing phase - he was definitely in lust and impressed by my credentials etc, but there was a definite lack of affection so I always doubted him and held back (with good reason, as it turned out), and the gold-digger went off with a bigger fish. Even sharing our deepest secrets, daily thoughts and feelings etc, we could never achieve real intimacy. And that is what this extract sounds like.

I can't listen to Sparry's voice, but it would be interesting to hear how he has read this part.

When William talks about Catherine, even if it is a short sentence or something generic like she sends her best wishes or she says hello, you can hear genuine warmth in his voice. Even in that address in the Scottish parliament.
 
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I have a question what moron would go and queue up to buy the book at WH Smiths or Waterstones when you can order it from amazon?
At least if you buy from Amazon you don’t risk anyone you know witnessing your recklessness
 
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