Great post and I fully agree. Your auntie was a wise woman.I‘ve been thinking about ”misgendering” and “deadnaming” this morning and about how het up people get about them, way way more than any other social faux pas you might commit.
I‘m a woman who gets misgendered a lot, as I’m tall, broad shouldered and have short hair. Once a week or so, I’ll get called sir, or mate, or someone will say something about the man over there, because people are busy and distracted and don’t look properly. And the effect of this heinous misgendering is…nothing. I roll my eyes and go on with my day. And it’s not like it doesn’t matter to me, people thinking I’m masculine or male- it does. It taps into insecurities. I’ve been told all my life that I’m not feminine enough, or I’m coming over as aggressive or women with muscles or my height just aren’t sexually attractive, and when I was younger and my self confidence was low, that tormented me.
So when I hear trans people wigging out over being sir-ed instead of ma’am-ed, or he-d instead of she-d, and people reacting as if a terrible wrong has been done to them, and there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I just think “you know you had another option available to you, which was not to react, right?“
Because what does it matter? It gets to the heart of one of my objections to trans ideology in that it places so much of a persons happiness and ability to thrive into the hands of others. It tells you that people not sharing your perception of yourself are doing you a terrible wrong, and there’s a recipe for psychological torment if ever I heard one. The healthy message is that other people‘s opinions aren’t always very important. My auntie said when I was younger “try not to worry too much what other people think of you, it’s really none of your business”.
likewise with ”deadnaming”. I didn’t take my husbands name on marriage, and that is important to me. I’m not chattel, and my family name has all but died out. It’s a big deal. But I get called “Mrs Mr-Soupy’s-Name” reasonably regularly, so people are casually over riding my strong preference. Do I take to social media to denounce them? No. I say “I kept my own name on marriage”, and move the fuck on.
Sorry- bit ranty this morning
I was once addressed as "sir" while breastfeeding. I'm now old enough to be invisible, but during my visible years was frequently misgendered (and I'm not even tall!) The only time it's bothered me was quite recently when I was on a general ward waiting for assessment - I'd recently lost all my hair following chemo and one of the other patients was an older lady who was very confused, upset and angry that she was sharing a ward with "a man" - no one could convince her that I was not a man, so I just tried to stay out of her line of sight.Great post and I fully agree. Your auntie was a wise woman.
I don't spend any time at all worrying about what other people think of me. Its very freeing. The truth is that most people are caught up in their own lives and don't give others much thought anyway.
I hope you're better nowI was once addressed as "sir" while breastfeeding. I'm now old enough to be invisible, but during my visible years was frequently misgendered (and I'm not even tall!) The only time it's bothered me was quite recently when I was on a general ward waiting for assessment - I'd recently lost all my hair following chemo and one of the other patients was an older lady who was very confused, upset and angry that she was sharing a ward with "a man" - no one could convince her that I was not a man, so I just tried to stay out of her line of sight.
I had the same a couple of years back, sharing a ward with a woman with dementia and she was dreadfully upset as she thought she was sharing a ward with a man (me). I was in the right place for my sex, but I felt just terrible for her, and I also tried my best to stay out of her sight so as not to further distress her. Contrast that with transactivists who don’t belong there on account of being men, and who don’t give a shit who they upset. ETA, I hope you are feeling better , sorry I didn’t mean to gloss right over thatI was once addressed as "sir" while breastfeeding. I'm now old enough to be invisible, but during my visible years was frequently misgendered (and I'm not even tall!) The only time it's bothered me was quite recently when I was on a general ward waiting for assessment - I'd recently lost all my hair following chemo and one of the other patients was an older lady who was very confused, upset and angry that she was sharing a ward with "a man" - no one could convince her that I was not a man, so I just tried to stay out of her line of sight.
I have a hobby that has a lot of, let’s say, gender diversity and this is very much my experience. These arent people who are thriving. You’re as likely to get a disquisition on their poor health and neurodiversity as you are to get anything related to the hobby out of them. It’s infuriating. I end up avoiding pronouns or just not talking to or about them. It makes it so hard to connect because they are absolute fun sponges. I have only met one exception to this…It's not part of my normal work but I ended up in a room with what turned out to be young trans people and TRAs for a few hours yesterday. They all seemed under 25. I know this is a cruel thing to say but every single one of them was one or more of the following:
-crushingly lacking in confidence
-obese
-in a wheelchair/using crutches/wearing a hidden disabilities badge
-had blue or other brightly coloured hair
-talked often about them 'being on the spectrum' or (most commonly) ADHD
None of them looked like they were enjoying life. During conversation, none of them seemed to be excited about their careers, their lives, travelling or getting out there and living in any way shape or form. It was like they had retreated for one reason or another and this gender/trans/hidden difference/labelling stuff gave them a cloak to hide behind. I came away feeling really sorry for them all and really concerned for our society as a whole.
Similar to Germany, then......Just seen
Aaaaaaaw,fuck!Saw this on FB earlier, it was an article about the contestants on Sewing Bee. I saw the job description and of course rolled my eyes but was not surprised to see that he is a they ffs...
I would say you couldn't make it up, but unfortunately we don't have to.Similar to Germany, then......
Yes, most aren't affected by any of this trans agenda- until they ARE affected by it. And that's how they are attempting to change things, legislation etc. By targeting the kids, so that in 9 or 10 years when they are adults of voting age, they are " used" to it.......Great post and I fully agree. Your auntie was a wise woman.
I don't spend any time at all worrying about what other people think of me. Its very freeing. The truth is that most people are caught up in their own lives and don't give others much thought anyway.
Sadly it seems a lot of young people aren't enjoying life. My daughters friend desperately wants a boyfriend. She's a lovely girl with a pretty face but on the spectrum and obese. It's all very well going on about body positivity but she'd definitely have more men interested if she dropped a couple of stone. You can’t tell her that though.It's not part of my normal work but I ended up in a room with what turned out to be young trans people and TRAs for a few hours yesterday. They all seemed under 25. I know this is a cruel thing to say but every single one of them was one or more of the following:
-crushingly lacking in confidence
-obese
-in a wheelchair/using crutches/wearing a hidden disabilities badge
-had blue or other brightly coloured hair
-talked often about them 'being on the spectrum' or (most commonly) ADHD
None of them looked like they were enjoying life. During conversation, none of them seemed to be excited about their careers, their lives, travelling or getting out there and living in any way shape or form. It was like they had retreated for one reason or another and this gender/trans/hidden difference/labelling stuff gave them a cloak to hide behind. I came away feeling really sorry for them all and really concerned for our society as a whole.
But it's not just a lanyard is it? TwatJust seen
View attachment 2937010
That is just sickening, wanting to have sex with kids legalised is bloody disgusting. It pisses me off that he is forever on the news shows whenever they want an LGB perspective on things.Yes, most aren't affected by any of this trans agenda- until they ARE affected by it. And that's how they are attempting to change things, legislation etc. By targeting the kids, so that in 9 or 10 years when they are adults of voting age, they are " used" to it.......
Skid-marks like tatchell are involved because he, and others like him , would like the age of consent for boys dropped down to 12 ( or younger).
Be under no illusions. This must be called out at every turn. Plenty are , as Authorities are starting to take action but it needs to be more. A lot more. This fucking nonsense is dangerous and needs stamping on.
What is their immigration protocol?But it's not just a lanyard is it? Twat
In other news Peru are not having it!
Trans people classified as 'mentally ill' in Peru
'Transsexualism, dual-role transvestism, gender identity disorder in childhood, other gender identity disorders and fetishistic transvestism' are now all recorded as mental illnesses under the decreewww.dailymail.co.uk
is bang on and is something that I think is at the heart of their unhappiness.it places so much of a persons happiness and ability to thrive into the hands of others
I am a sewist, and watch The Sewing Bee religiously. I groaned when I saw the profiles yesterday on Instagram, as soon as I saw 'DEI' I knew his pronouns would be they/them and that he'd be into drag. I scrolled down to read the rest of the caption and yes, I was right. So for the third year in a row there will be a contestant who makes every transformation challenge or made to measure round about drag in some way. There was a guy last year who added harnesses to most garments because that was his 'personality'Saw this on FB earlier, it was an article about the contestants on Sewing Bee. I saw the job description and of course rolled my eyes but was not surprised to see that he is a they ffs...
Luckily they’re all shit so never last long. But you wonder how many competent middle aged women they took a place from in the BBC’s endless fucking quest to shoehorn trans into EVERYTHING.I am a sewist, and watch The Sewing Bee religiously. I groaned when I saw the profiles yesterday on Instagram, as soon as I saw 'DEI' I knew his pronouns would be they/them and that he'd be into drag. I scrolled down to read the rest of the caption and yes, I was right. So for the third year in a row there will be a contestant who makes every transformation challenge or made to measure round about drag in some way. There was a guy last year who added harnesses to most garments because that was his 'personality'
It really is heartbreaking and maddening how becoming trans is being pushed onto vulnerable people as some sort of magical cure when in reality it’s opening them up to even more suffering. I genuinely don’t understand how we’ve gotten here.It's not part of my normal work but I ended up in a room with what turned out to be young trans people and TRAs for a few hours yesterday. They all seemed under 25. I know this is a cruel thing to say but every single one of them was one or more of the following:
-crushingly lacking in confidence
-obese
-in a wheelchair/using crutches/wearing a hidden disabilities badge
-had blue or other brightly coloured hair
-talked often about them 'being on the spectrum' or (most commonly) ADHD
None of them looked like they were enjoying life. During conversation, none of them seemed to be excited about their careers, their lives, travelling or getting out there and living in any way shape or form. It was like they had retreated for one reason or another and this gender/trans/hidden difference/labelling stuff gave them a cloak to hide behind. I came away feeling really sorry for them all and really concerned for our society as a whole.
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