Oooh, what's happened? baby has arrived?
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No no. I just didn’t realise she was pregnant.
Honestly for me. First three months first baby was utterly exhausting, but doable. And I had given birth and had to recover from the physical trauma. 18 months to three, especially with more than one, that’s when you need a hand, or twelve. These men want to farm out their kid from the get go. Doesn’t bode well for the poor child.Mothers are criticised and judged for absolutely everything from the minute you get pregnant and it never stops. When you have a baby the world thinks it’s their business to have an opinion on how you raise your child. Interesting that you don’t comment on this Ensay, but then how could you possibly know? You feel sorry for these two men and you’re looking for evidence of straight couples using nannies being criticised but you don’t realise the very harsh judgement every mother encounters for every single decision she makes, even seemingly innocuous ones like how she holds the baby/feeds the baby/wraps the baby/whether she goes back to work too early/or not at all/whether she looks at her phone while she’s pushing the pram, on and on and on and it doesn’t stop as they get older although it’s certainly not as bad as the baby and toddler days.
As others have said, most new parents do not have anyone to guide them, they are thrown into it and it’s the hardest learning curve on earth. I couldn’t help thinking that these two guys clearly don’t have a clue about parenthood because in the first few weeks babies sleep the majority of the daytime, it’s the nights you could do with some help, but even then, how much help do you need making bottles and changing nappies? The real challenge for mums is the relentless breastfeeding and how your body is not your own for weeks/months. And for that there is no help.
Pick another subject to get offended at Ensay cos this ain’t it! You’ve riled me on Mother’s Day of all days
Why are they even bothering getting a child? After the newborn IG post letting the world know they’ve arrived. It doesn’t sound like they’ll be getting looked near by their dads. Why does the nursery theme matter?View attachment 2806136View attachment 2806137
I'd never really given much thought to surrogacy until recently, I think I always (naively)thought it was a selfless thing to do for couples who were desperate for a child. The more I read about it the more you can see how little esteem mothers are held in by some. Then you have this pair who want one as an accessory
Yes this, and the celebrities are often seen out within a week.
It'd be rare for a new Mum to to that.
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I went out for a family meal when my daughter was 5 days old, it was to celebrate my Mum's birthday and she'd died a few weeks earlier so important.
I had breast pads in for my leaky boobs, a giant mattress maternity pad and hated it, plus my daughter just wanted to be held, and fed so it was difficult to eat and in the early days of breastfeeding, I wasn't comfortable doing that.
The parents with a surrogate can prance around as it nothing has happened, they don't have a clue.
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Um can someone point out to India that the Daily Mail have been covering it and are not 'ducking it'
India doesn't come out of it looking good and that makes me laugh.
Don't feel bad. Every so often they slither on in and try to argue about whatever it is that we're discussing at the time. Just click ignore.... or get a glass of wine and eye drops for all the eye rolling and just sit back and watch the attempts to rile us all.
But you're a Quokka, nobody ever has a problem with a Quokka.
Nobody ever seems to think Quokka has a problem with others, though. Nah, it's all "oh look they're so cute! Happiest animal on the planet!" The pressure, mate. I tell ya, it's too much sometimes.
*said with my best Aussie accent*
FWIW, I’m sure those questions were asked in good faith. I think several of us were a bit confused about the issues.
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Patsy Stevenson is a vile piece of work. After everything that happened to Sarah Everard, she has the audacity to silence a woman (and how eloquent was that councillor
) who expresses concern about women who’ve suffered sexual violence and who want to maintain their dignity in illness and disability. I would love a news outlet to pick this up and expose Stevenson for the grifter she is.
I'm not close to 50 yet so retirement is a long way off for me, but thank you very much for this information, I appreciate it.Ensay, if you're over 50 I'd recommend booking an appointment with Pension Wise, which is the government advice service.
Pension Wise: free pension guidance | MoneyHelper
Pension Wise is a free and impartial government service that helps you understand the options for your pension pot. Get free pension guidance today.www.moneyhelper.org.uk
It sounds like you have a defined contribution pension and you're thinking about buying a joint life annuity. There are still a few joint life annuities that will only pay out to a spouse or civil partner, so triple check with the provider you choose that they will pay out to your partner.
I work on a defined benefit scheme and the rules are very clear, if you're not married or in a civil partnership you don't get the spouse's pension if your partner dies after coming into payment. We have to have a difficult conversation about it with a recently bereaved persion about once a month. The worst one was someone who'd been with their partner for over 30 years - they got nothing.
And everybody make sure that your pension beneficiary nomination forms are up to date, especially if you've been through a relationship break-up. If a member of our scheme dies before taking their pension, a lump sum goes to whoever is named on the nomination form and occasionally we've had to pay out to ex-partners from decades ago while the current partner of 10+ years gets zip. Legally your pension isn't part of your estate, so isn't covered by your will (in most cases).
I had a look at the terms and conditions and it doesn't mention a spouse, just a dependant. It says you name the dependant at the time you take the annuity - which made me think I could name a partner rather than a spouse if I wasn't married at that point. But that said, my partner earns as much as I do, so if we're still together then I think I'd be inclined to take a single life annuity and he can do the same!
Lots to think about, but lots of time to decide haha. Again, I appreciate the info!
Yes, she's done very well out of the vicious murder of a young woman.
They honestly were in good faith. Some people have a problem with me because in the past I've sometimes had a different opinion to them and have respectfully given it. I've always struggled to sit on my hands when I read something I disagree with. Many stay silent to keep the peace and I sometimes do, but I can't always. Besides, it's a discussion board where disagreement is allowed.
And anyway I've been here for years, if I behaved the way some people make out I'd have been out on my ear a long time ago. As with every story, there are two sides...
Im not totally anti just very very strict circumstances and it has to be consensual not commercial. And not rich gay blokes renting a womb
the TRAs know what a woman is when they need a Handmaid
Oh, just duck the duck off. Can we just get to a point where the police force are there to police *actual* crimes?! Couldn’t give a monkey what race/creed/religion you are - if you commit a crime the police should be able to do their job.
We absolutely need to stamp out the horrendous misogyny within the force along with all discriminatory behaviour, but we also need to stop pandering to and apologising for this utter bleeping rubbish.
BIB That'll be the "elephant in the room"...the birth mother absent from the baby's first days and life.
“Obviously, we’re the easiest scapegoat in the world because we are widely misunderstood due to several thousand years of accumulated prejudice against the idea.”
‘Several thousand years of accumulated prejudice’. He literally just made that up.
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