Gender Discussion #13

[AlanBanan]

Spoiler: childfree thread

I dip in and out of the childfree thread but there's a few posters in there who are frankly rude, and it's not very enjoyable. I'm not interested in trashing working parents, most of them have worked their arse off over the last year and a half. Some people in that thread downright hate kids and anything to do with them. There's also someone newish to that thread who keeps creating new accounts every few weeks and seem to have an answer for every single thing someone says

Yeah I questioned them on the celeb threads, it’s a very weird that they keep coming back every time.

Also, I am child free by choice, I genuinely have no interest in having kids. But some people are straight up horrible about children. They’re just little humans there’s no reason to hate them.

 

[Gairlfb]

Yeah I questioned them on the celeb threads, it’s a very weird that they keep coming back every time.

Also, I am child free by choice, I genuinely have no interest in having kids. But some people are straight up horrible about children. They’re just little humans there’s no reason to hate them.

Sorry picking up on the off topic further but yes! This person used to keep coming to the Dating After Lockdown threads too - seems to have stayed away under this latest profile but it’s so bizarre and you can just pick up it’s the same person from their writing so easily! They were really angry about children in those threads too

 

[Whatevesmate]

Sorry picking up on the off topic further but yes! This person used to keep coming to the Dating After Lockdown threads too - seems to have stayed away under this latest profile but it’s so bizarre and you can just pick up it’s the same person from their writing so easily! They were really angry about children in those threads too

Its hilarious that people think that others on here are so dim that they wouldn't even notice

 

[colouredlines]

I have zero interest in children but I've never been on the childfree thread - I don't want them, nothing more to talk about!

Today I met up with a gay male friend and he asked me what I thought about Laurel Hubbard. Can of worms time...we ended up having a very long discussion about so many areas of the gender debate. It was interesting to see the perspective of someone who hasn't previously paid much attention; he told me at first he thought it was fine to have trans athletes, then he realised what that actually entailed, and quickly changed his mind.

As a gay guy, the transwomen he's more familiar with are the old school types, who called themselves gay men before they transitioned. He told me he was quite shocked by how broad the trans category has become now.

It was pretty refreshing. As I said before, I don't often talk about these things in real life, so it's always nice to find someone who is on the same page as me. It's also interesting to see his perspective; I think a lot of people hear "transwoman" and still think of Dana International, so they get the shock of their life when Laurel Hubbard lumbers into view!

 

[maytoseptember]

Wait, really?!? I just thought that it was simple questioning!

Oh you sweet summer child…

Spoiler: MN trolls and pervs

Seriously though, I’m sure some threads are genuine. But you get to know the signs of a pervert looking for fap material. You get to know the signs of a man typing and pretending to be a woman (an OTT friendly tone, exclamation marks and starting a post with “Hi Ladies!” is a big red flag). You see a lot of faux innocence about not knowing how to wash a baby’s genitals, or a child needing to have cream applied to their genitals… how would you do that? There’s the piss troll obsessed with leaking nappies. There’s also a school uniform troll who posts looking for advice about finding blouses for teenage girls with huge breasts. Some post lurid threads pretending to be women who’ve leaked period blood over clothes and chairs, or who’ve shat themselves. Seriously, I could go on and on and on. I haven’t even scratched the surface of the depraved tit that goes on

 

[AlanBanan]

You see a lot of faux innocence about not knowing how to wash a baby’s genitals, or a child needing to have cream applied to their genitals… how would you do that?

Everything really is a fetish for certain types of men. It sickens me that they’ll go to the lengths of asking people on how to wipe a baby just to get off. Filthy freaks.

Its hilarious that people think that others on here are so dim that they wouldn't even notice

Yup, also do they not think that people won’t notice they write the same way, have the same opinions and are in all the same threads but conveniently aren’t in the thread they were outed on multiple times anymore.

 

[Vanelope]

I had to laugh at the suggestion on the childfree thread that pregnant women get to choose when they have their NHS antenatal appointments. In my experience, the midwife was only available at my surgery once a week and if you were lucky enough to get given a choice of time slots, they were very limited. Like, 3 different slots within the same hour or something.

I have zero problem with childfree people but for some of them it seems to become them. Not necessarily on the thread on tattle, I’m thinking more along the lines of the subreddit. Of course everyone on Reddit is so extra about absolutely everything.

Why does it matter whether pregnant women can choose their appointments? Is it about antenatal appointments taking up GP time and space or something? All mine were either at a midwife run unit or the maternity unit. So didn’t inconvenience any other part of the medical provision. And no you rarely got to choose when, sometimes could request morning or afternoon, sometimes waited a long time. My work let me have the time fortunately.

 

[HoGi]

Why does it matter whether pregnant women can choose their appointments? Is it about antenatal appointments taking up GP time and space or something? All mine were either at a midwife run unit or the maternity unit. So didn’t inconvenience any other part of the medical provision. And no you rarely got to choose when, sometimes could request morning or afternoon, sometimes waited a long time. My work let me have the time fortunately.

The conversation started about part time workers having appointments on the 2 or 3 days they are in the office and it was insinuated that it is done on purpose.

 

[Platformcrocs]

Why does it matter whether pregnant women can choose their appointments? Is it about antenatal appointments taking up GP time and space or something? All mine were either at a midwife run unit or the maternity unit. So didn’t inconvenience any other part of the medical provision. And no you rarely got to choose when, sometimes could request morning or afternoon, sometimes waited a long time. My work let me have the time fortunately.

I think it was implied that pregnant women should be able to schedule their appointments outside of working hours so to not inconvenience their colleagues. If only antenatal care had an online booking system like a restaurant!

I get that it's a pain in the arse covering for a colleague but it's not that different to someone who needs to leave early for a dentist appointment. You just deal with it. Most employers offer paid time off for antenatal appointments as part of a maternity package so a pregnant woman is entitled to it. They'd be better taking it up with their workplace but it's easier to make out that women are a huge inconvenience

 

[Vanelope]

The conversation started about part time workers having appointments on the 2 or 3 days they are in the office and it was insinuated that it is done on purpose.

Oh I see.
I can see why that would grate, but it’s unlikely that it’s on purpose. I was part time - had Fridays off. I had to go to a diabetes clinic fortnightly or monthly - can’t remember but i went a lot. It was only on a Wednesday afternoon.

I think it was implied that pregnant women should be able to schedule their appointments outside of working hours so to not inconvenience their colleagues. If only antenatal care had an online booking system like a restaurant!

I get that it's a pain in the arse covering for a colleague but it's not that different to someone who needs to leave early for a dentist appointment. You just deal with it. Most employers offer paid time off for antenatal appointments as part of a maternity package so a pregnant woman is entitled to it. They'd be better taking it up with their workplace but it's easier to make out that women are a huge inconvenience

They have to give paid time for appointments. It’s not a package. It’s a statutory right.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

The conversation started about part time workers having appointments on the 2 or 3 days they are in the office and it was insinuated that it is done on purpose.

Yeah this was it.

It’s not just antenatal appointments either. One of my kids is under hospital care for a medical issue and we get appointments sent to us via letter, we don’t get to choose when it is, it’s what ever time and place it says on the letter, sometimes it’s not always at the most convenient time but that’s how it is, fortunately I’m not in work at the moment so don’t have to feel guilty about taking time off to take my kid to hospital. It was the same thing when my partner had an issue that needed hospital treatment and then surgery. He needed a couple of months off for recovery and I’m sure it wasn’t great for his colleagues but these things happen sometimes. Often you just have to take what you’re given or face an even longer wait for treatment/care. No job is worth putting your health on hold for.

 

[HoGi]

Oh I see.
I can see why that would grate, but it’s unlikely that it’s on purpose. I was part time - had Fridays off. I had to go to a diabetes clinic fortnightly or monthly - can’t remember but i went a lot. It was only on a Wednesday afternoon.

Yeh the clinic I used to attend at the hospital was only on a Monday afternoon. So I know you don't always have a choice on appointments, however some people do take the piss. Especially where I work as they know nothing will be said.

I am childfree and I do post on that thread. It does grate when as a full time worker you are expected to pick up the slack of part timers. And lack of children is automatically assumed that you lack a life outside of work I.e. can stay late, don't want Xmas off or any time over summer etc. Thankfully my office is generally quite fair with regards to time off.

 

[Platformcrocs]

They have to give paid time for appointments. It’s not a package. It’s a statutory right.

Ah I didn't know this, that's good to know. My last employer presented it as part of the "maternity package" - then again they didn't have a HR department for years and it really showed.

 

[Rdogk24]

Yeah I questioned them on the celeb threads, it’s a very weird that they keep coming back every time.

Also, I am child free by choice, I genuinely have no interest in having kids. But some people are straight up horrible about children. They’re just little humans there’s no reason to hate them.

New to this thread and love it and haven’t posted in here yet but I had to reply this because I saw you call that person out twice and they completely ignored you and now no one in that thread replies to them

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Thoughts on this? Makes me really uncomfortable to perpetuate the notion that the toys a child plays with is influenced by their ‘gender’ but that seems to be what this video ends up saying.

 

[Rdogk24]

I’m 24 and before very recently I was really behind the TRA. I used to say TWAW and I celebrated when Caitlin Jenner won woman of the year (I know). I even had a debate with my mum last year about JKR, siding with TRA and calling my mum a terf. I look back at myself and genuinely I can’t believe how brainwashed I was. I started waking up when I allowed myself to listen to opposing views and realising, funnily enough, older women who are fighting for my rights might just know better than me and aren’t just radical feminists who are behind the times. I think people my age who have grown up on the internet have been programmed to be ‘woke’ or you’re evil, dumb, ignorant, cancelled. I genuinely believe that things will turn around though, if it hadn’t been for brave women speaking out about this stuff I would’ve still been in my SJW bubble.

 

[Whatevesmate]

Thoughts on this? Makes me really uncomfortable to perpetuate the notion that the toys a child plays with is influenced by their ‘gender’ but that seems to be what this video ends up saying.

I find it uncomfortable too and hard to believe. Doesn't accord with my experience of children at all.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Thoughts on this? Makes me really uncomfortable to perpetuate the notion that the toys a child plays with is influenced by their ‘gender’ but that seems to be what this video ends up saying.

I don’t believe that little kids have a gender tbh. It’s often parents who get funny that e.g. boys want to play with dolls. Someone’s influencing it if they do appear to be adhering to gender norms I would say, it’s not innate

I think people my age who have grown up on the internet have been programmed to be ‘woke’ or you’re evil, dumb, ignorant, cancelled.

I agree and find this really weird because when I was growing up I didn’t want to listen to anyone and people saying to me ‘don’t listen to XYZ’ would almost certainly have pushed me to listen to XYZ! Do you think younger people these days lack the kind of rebellious streak that teenagers used to experience?

 

[Merpedy]

Thoughts on this? Makes me really uncomfortable to perpetuate the notion that the toys a child plays with is influenced by their ‘gender’ but that seems to be what this video ends up saying.

Interesting, though I think you also have to realise that it is a test on monkeys and I assume there's some difference between them and us when it comes to gender roles and what not

I think it makes sense that there's may be something innate that draws different genders to different toys but also as people grow older it could totally be possible that the active toys (which is what the video describes to be the car) are more interesting. Some kids can be bloody smart by a certain age, so I can see them being more engaged by a car than playing pretend with a baby

 

[Vanelope]

Thoughts on this? Makes me really uncomfortable to perpetuate the notion that the toys a child plays with is influenced by their ‘gender’ but that seems to be what this video ends up saying.

I’m really pleased that my kids nursery never emphasised certain toys for boys or girls. They all used to play with the baby dolls or with the diggers.