Good to hear you already have your own place - imagine if a friend of yours had the same problem with their partner, how would you talk to them about it? Nobody deserves to be made to feel crap and be blamed for things that you definitely haven't done.
I think deep down you know the answers. His not thinking of you or your relationship his thinking of himself.
I once had someone who I’ve known for over 10 years who I thought was my best friend, confess his undying love for me that he’d loved me since we were 10 and how he could cure my mental health issues (lmao) and that if he kept doing the thing that made me uncomfortable and was triggering (I have PTSD) that I would get better. Literally a week later he had a girlfriend. I realised that he’d actually just stuck around as my friend for all these years on the off chance that I liked him or would like him.
Cue me having to watch my emotions around him or bite my tongue. We were together for 4 years and I never felt he wanted to commit - we went on holidays together, weddings/family occasions but then some weekends he would need time alone 'with the lads' so I was often left feeling confused!Yes it was great before because he love bombed you thats what they do to hook you in give you whats really an artificial high which if you stay with him you will spend the rest of the relationship trying to get back.
Have you sort help from anyone or spoke to anyone else about how you feel?
Thank you. I am proud of myself as I've overcome a lot. I had a stroke a few years ago whilst I was with him, I was only 26, I recovered from that so I'll recover from this. My parents despise him so getting them to liaise with him instead would turn in to world war 3 and his parents are no longer around so I have to deal with him by myself unfortunately.
Do you get support for your anxiety? She’s using your vulnerabilities to her advantage. I know it’s far easier said than done but those things that make you anxious are things that you need to start facing gradually yourself (I’m a MH professional), if you have any questions please ask xx
Was he bothered?
Yes this is what i thought - Like he was messaging me saying he loves me, misses me, Im his beautiful girl etc and then next thing i know a week and a half he is seeing someone else - I mentioned it and he said he had seen me liking guys pics on instagram and posting selfies of myself (which i always do anyway) so thats why he has gone out and dated someone else. So seems to me he did it out of spite but maybe he is happy cos as far as I know he is still dating her. Although I knew the relationship wasnt right it is still a massive kick in the teeth as I honestly didnt think he would move on so quickly. Deep down I dont think he is happy and I think he has done it to fill a void but who knows. Its just a kick in the teeth though isnt it.
Yeah like i know it isnt right - i said to him we cant move forward if he doesnt ever think he is in the wrong. He did admit to some things last night and apologise but then he just storms off i just cant handle it. He has also kept telling me he cant book a weekend away with me yet because he dont know his rota for work yet found out last night he has booked to go away for 3 nights with his mates so.
It sounds like you have had it extremely tough the last few years. But you have shown how resilient you are.
Yes thanks great advice - I did cut all contact and we had zero for weeks - and then he messaged/rang, yes I shouldnt have replied but I did. I have got quite a lot of apologies but as you say it is literally just to make himself feel better in my opinion. Youre right it is very hard, easier said than done but I did it and i was fine its just since he has creeped back I have struggled a bit. x
Don’t mind being on my own just sick of starting again.