She's on her way to America to meet up with her girlfriend Cam for the second time.
Title thanks to @WeezyG
Title thanks to @WeezyG
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An honourable mention must go to @strawb with New Pork City
never satisfied is sheOn the brink of actual tears
Jane's phone must be blowing up right now
MUM! I told you you should had come with me and then gew back after the migration queue!
MUM! I told you you should had come with me and then gew back after the migration queue!
I’ve been inspired by the mention of New Pork on the previous thread. For the HAMilton fans out there:
Gabriella HAMilton
How does a Tory, hoarder, big hambivore and Thurgolandian, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
spot in the Sheffield plains by providence, never impoverished of butter
grow up to be a hewge catfishing nutter?
The shunned daughter, slaving mother, the racist father
Went a lot farther by steppin’ a lot harder
With new bewts, a lot smarter
Never a self-starter
By twenty three, they placed her in charge of a sewfa charter
And every day while Jane was being ignored and carted away
across the motorway she struggled and kept her guard up
Inside she was longing for a box that she could poo in
yeah Gobbie was ready to beg, steal, borrow or barter
Then the hot sunshine came and devastation rained
our Gobs saw her future drip-dripping down the drain
Apple pencil to her temple connected it to her brain
and she wrote her thousandth tweet a testament to her pain
Well the word got around they said this girl is insane man
collection she can’t ship it past the mainland
She’s got no dedication don't forget from whence she came. But the world is gonna know her name.
What's ya name, man?
Gabriella HAMilton.
My name is Gabriella HAMilton.
And there's a million surgeries I’ve had.
But just you wait, just you, wait.
When she was 10, so unfit
Full of it, chub-ridden
Ten years later, see Gobs and her mother, bed-ridden
Half-dead, sittin' in Nelbobs’ litter, the scent thick
And Gobs ate butter so her mother went quick
Moved onto a boyfriend, the boyfriend had a cricket match
Left her with nothin' but ruined pride
Somethin' new inside
A voice saying Gobs, you gotta fend for yourself
She started retreatin' and readin' every thread about herself
There would've been nothin' left to do
For this lasagne brute
She would've been dead no more yewchewb
Without a cent of restitution
Started workin', clerkin' for jewniper mewn
Tradin' stickers and tote bags and other shite fans can't afford
Scannin' for every operashun she can get her hands on
Plannin' for the future, see her now as she sits in
The Norse airplane headed for a new land
In New Pork your bumhewl can be licked by sCam (x4)
In New Pork (New Pork) Just you wait (x3)
Gabriella HAMilton
Jane is waiting in the weeds for you
You could never back down
You never learned to take your time
Gabriela HAMilton
America fears for you
Do they know that you are to blame
Do they know you control your name (Mona, Dolly…)
The world will never be the same, oh
The plane is at the airport now
See if you can spot her
Another catfish comin' up from the bottom
Her tattle enemies destroyed her rep, America forgot her
We, fought with her
Nellie, I pooped with her
Hobbie, I used her
sCam, I “loved” her
And Jane, she’s the damn fool that had her
There's a million surgeries she’s had, but just you wait
Whats ya name man?
GABRIELLA HAMILTON
Gabriella HAMilton
How does a Tory, hoarder, big hambivore and Thurgolandian, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
spot in the Sheffield plains by providence, never impoverished of butter
grow up to be a hewge catfishing nutter?
The shunned daughter, slaving mother, the racist father
Went a lot farther by steppin’ a lot harder
With new bewts, a lot smarter
Never a self-starter
By twenty three, they placed her in charge of a sewfa charter
And every day while Jane was being ignored and carted away
across the motorway she struggled and kept her guard up
Inside she was longing for a box that she could poo in
yeah Gobbie was ready to beg, steal, borrow or barter
Then the hot sunshine came and devastation rained
our Gobs saw her future drip-dripping down the drain
Apple pencil to her temple connected it to her brain
and she wrote her thousandth tweet a testament to her pain
Well the word got around they said this girl is insane man
collection she can’t ship it past the mainland
She’s got no dedication don't forget from whence she came. But the world is gonna know her name.
What's ya name, man?
Gabriella HAMilton.
My name is Gabriella HAMilton.
And there's a million surgeries I’ve had.
But just you wait, just you, wait.
When she was 10, so unfit
Full of it, chub-ridden
Ten years later, see Gobs and her mother, bed-ridden
Half-dead, sittin' in Nelbobs’ litter, the scent thick
And Gobs ate butter so her mother went quick
Moved onto a boyfriend, the boyfriend had a cricket match
Left her with nothin' but ruined pride
Somethin' new inside
A voice saying Gobs, you gotta fend for yourself
She started retreatin' and readin' every thread about herself
There would've been nothin' left to do
For this lasagne brute
She would've been dead no more yewchewb
Without a cent of restitution
Started workin', clerkin' for jewniper mewn
Tradin' stickers and tote bags and other shite fans can't afford
Scannin' for every operashun she can get her hands on
Plannin' for the future, see her now as she sits in
The Norse airplane headed for a new land
In New Pork your bumhewl can be licked by sCam (x4)
In New Pork (New Pork) Just you wait (x3)
Gabriella HAMilton
Jane is waiting in the weeds for you
You could never back down
You never learned to take your time
Gabriela HAMilton
America fears for you
Do they know that you are to blame
Do they know you control your name (Mona, Dolly…)
The world will never be the same, oh
The plane is at the airport now
See if you can spot her
Another catfish comin' up from the bottom
Her tattle enemies destroyed her rep, America forgot her
We, fought with her
Nellie, I pooped with her
Hobbie, I used her
sCam, I “loved” her
And Jane, she’s the damn fool that had her
There's a million surgeries she’s had, but just you wait
Whats ya name man?
GABRIELLA HAMILTON
Can she not find a box to pee in
Also why is she pointing her camera at random people
Also why is she pointing her camera at random people
What's with panning the camera to strangers minding their business either side of her? She'd be the first to complain if someone posted something like that of her!
LOL
Shame. As a smol business owner I would’ve thought she’d be cranking out designs on her ipad during the wait rather than being awkward and creepy.
Imagine if she got turned away at Passport control
Jesus porking Christ. Fantastic. Chapeau. 🫡
The weird stretch of her neck and the massive glasses reminds me of the tortoise from Robin Hood.
She looks like one of her own drawings.
This thread title is absolute gold. I do a little laugh out of my nose every time I read it, making sure to really flare my nostrils so I look extra cewt. Can’t wait for all of Gobs manic car crash yew ess ayy 
content
contentDo they not know that THE Gabulous has landed in nyc?? She shouldn’t have to queue with these peasants, her lawyer will be in touch x
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