So the best friend who ghosted me has posted us a Christmas card this morning. Our husbands are good friends (that’s how we became friends) so it’s obviously just a normal standard polite thing to send a Christmas card. We normally send friend ones but it’s just a normal generic one. I just don’t see the point of sending a Christmas card to someone who you’ve cut contact with? If you’re gonna go out of your way to completely cut contact with someone then don’t send a Christmas card.
Her husband won’t have even told her to send it either, she’s chose to do it herself. I know it’s not a big deal but when I’m trying to just get on with life seeing her name come through the door it has just upset me. She’s left me with really bad confidence issues around whether my other friends actually like me and I’m too scared to try and make new friends as it’s a waste of time.
Hi new to the thread , first post here. It sounds like the ex friend is feeling a bit of guilt maybe about ghosting you ? I don’t know your story but something similar happened to me recently. I had a baby 3 months ago and a friend who I’d been close enough to for 10+ years (she’s about 20 years my senior, we met in work when I was a student working part time and she was full time there) anyway .. we’d lost touch here and there over the years life is busy she has children is a single mother etc. her own mother became ill with Parkinson’s disease too, so I understood she had a lot going on and I left her be after she didn’t reply to calls and texts. But she’d regularly ghost me and then get back in contact again when she’d need something from me. Sometimes money. To cut an even longer story short, she stopped replying to my texts in 2021 and in that time I got pregnant but we hadn’t been talking and I don’t use Facebook etc so she had no idea what was going on with me. She found out from a mutual friend that I’d had my baby in September and she rang me on WhatsApp it was so awkward. We hadn’t spoken in over a year. I’m good with deflecting and communicating in general so I just made it all about her (the way she likes it) I posted her cards for birthdays etc over the years and I sent her one recently. She hasn’t sent one back or acknowledged my card. Also think she blocked me on WhatsApp because I can’t see her profile picture anymore or her online status
I have bigger things going on in my life but like you I did feel a blow to my confidence like I wasn’t a valued friend to her and she only used me when she wanted something off me. She rang me out of guilt when she found out I’d be pregnant and had a whole baby and she didn’t contact me once or reply to my texts or calls for over a year. People are selfish we mustn’t base our worth on their actions/ treatment of us. I’m sure you’re a great friend and person, people just take advantage of that sometimes it’s horrible. I wouldn’t send her a card back. It’s her prerogative sending you a card whatever the reason. Doesn’t mean you have to send one back. It’s like someone buying you a gift they do it because they want to or whatever reason they have, the favour doesn’t have to be returned. I always say give with a heart and a half or don’t bother giving at all especially for the sake of it.
