Yes, me too. I totally get that. It's funny how our personalities change and adapt to the people around us.I click with some people instantly and others it’s awkward as hellI can’t relax and be myself around certain people.
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I rarely Interact with my neighbours apart from saying hello, just can't warm to them not that they have ever done nothing to me, only certain people I can be my true self, l think u have to feel comfortable around people
Going through a tough time and I've literally no one.
I feel this very strongly. I love keeping people at arms length, I am such a good person to know from a distance. I find it baffling how people develop deeper friendships with others. That meme about how introverts make friends is probably very true - that an extrovert finds you and likes you so they adopt you. I think it’s partly my introversion (by which I mean my need to be alone/have my own space) that drives the need for distance from others. I find some of the premise of friendship quite suffocating… what do you mean I have to SEE you? If I see YOU I’ll feel like I need to see the other people that I’m friends with…. My husband and i have been friends with another couple for nearly twenty years and they’ve invited us for a day out the weekend before Xmas and my husband (it’s HIS friend originally) is desperately trying to work out how not to see them… We do genuinely like them but dear god, interaction is overhyped.
I just think I’ve gotten to the stage now were I hate people that much that I just can’t be bothered to even attempt to make friends. I feel like I walk around with a sticker on my head saying “idiot”. Yes I lack a bit in social skills, but I’m very bright and people just talk down to me or patronise me. The less time I spend with people the better.
It makes me sad to read this but I can relate. This is how I have felt over the past month or so. I bend over backwards for people and then feel shunned.
I’ve noticed even when I’m being served in a shop I won’t get a hello when other people get a bit of a chit chat - it’s like I have a giant red cross over my head saying do not approach.
I realise that my posts sound a little contradictory. I think it’s just that my confidence is shot to tit after my relationship went downhill to the point he faded me out while pretending everything was ok. I shut people out myself.
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Yes I always feel like I have a target on me inviting people to speak down to me or just to avoid me totally.
Even in work, I’m in a team of 2 and our manager has been away sick recently and they’ve done a big thank you message for the other woman in the office for keeping everything going in their absence, nothing for me…
We get customer’s come to our office sometimes and genuinely twice now when I’ve asked them “hi can I help you?” Theyve just said “no”. Well duck off then…
The other woman in the office just blanks me half the time when I try to make conversation. It’s just dire.
I’m so grateful for self service tills & ordering through apps because I feel like so many people just get snotty with me. I’m always very smiley and polite, so I don’t know if it’s becuase I look a bit young (I’m late 20’s) or if it’s because they can see I’m nervous with social interactions.
it’s a vicious cycle.
I always, always make up a story about very sick mother in law. She must’ve died 10 times now and I must’ve been to her funerals at least 20. Just need to make sure I remember who I lie to. Along with numerous social events ( I have none, as people fed up with me not turning up).
So sorry you are experiencing these symptoms, you are welcome to message me if functions allow xx
I haven't had friends since primary school and it's genuinely foreign to me now - mostly it's fine but sometimes I just feel so lonely I can't even watch TV due to all of the characters having friends and partners and making me feel pathetic 
I have this male friend I decided to cut off over the summer because I honestly didn’t want to keep in touch. I’m not interested in keeping in touch with coworkers from 5 years ago. I had a lot going on with my dad’s death, work, my family and a change of jobs. I didn’t have the energy to maintain a friendship with someone I haven’t seen in 4 years.
I deleted WhatsApp in September. He sent me a text on Monday saying “I’m worried about you, please let me know how you’re doing”.
While I appreciate the gesture certainly, I don’t like people in my business. Yes, my dad passed and I had a lot of stress, but if I stopped interacting there’s a reason and just leave me alone. A simple “I was thinking if you hope all is well” will do. No need to add the dramatic “I’m so worried about you”.
I have enough things to maintain in life, I don’t want to have to maintain the feelings/worries of a person I speak to every 3 months and haven’t seen in 4 years.
This is why I don’t like people in my business. People think if you’re having a bad period and decide to cut them off, you must be about to jump off a cliff. No, I’m fine. It’s coming from a good place, but the whole “I’m so worried about you”, a bit much especially as I haven’t seen this person in years.
I deleted WhatsApp in September. He sent me a text on Monday saying “I’m worried about you, please let me know how you’re doing”.
While I appreciate the gesture certainly, I don’t like people in my business. Yes, my dad passed and I had a lot of stress, but if I stopped interacting there’s a reason and just leave me alone. A simple “I was thinking if you hope all is well” will do. No need to add the dramatic “I’m so worried about you”.
I have enough things to maintain in life, I don’t want to have to maintain the feelings/worries of a person I speak to every 3 months and haven’t seen in 4 years.
This is why I don’t like people in my business. People think if you’re having a bad period and decide to cut them off, you must be about to jump off a cliff. No, I’m fine. It’s coming from a good place, but the whole “I’m so worried about you”, a bit much especially as I haven’t seen this person in years.
I’ve been the friend cut off like this after a death and it really hurts. I think it’s a cunts behaviour when all they want to know is that you are OK. How hard is it to tell someone you are fine but you don’t want to talk?
I didn’t cut this person off right after my dad’s death. Months had passed.
Your language (I.e “bleep”) is really rude and inappropriate. I don’t appreciate this at all regardless of what your advice is trying to convey. People decide to cease contact for a plethora of reasons especially when undergoing a complex period. You can’t call people names. I get it hurts but when people through difficult times, sometimes they have to make not so pleasant decisions for themselves.
My point isn’t about telling him I’m OK. It’s about the dramatic “I’m concerned”. Besides, I felt this person didn’t understand what it was like to lose a family member because they’ve never been through it and sometimes didn’t understand me and said things that weren’t sensible at all.
I don’t have to justify why I cut someone off, especially someone I haven’t seen in 4 years. Your situation was completely different I’m sure, so don’t project what happened to you on me. Again, when you go through these circumstances , your mindset shifts.
I agree with Candy Land I’m afraid. Nothing wrong with someone checking in on you if you’ve seemingly disappeared. You’re not coming across as a nice person.
It’s hardly dramatic to say to someone that you’re concerned. It’s a nice thing to do, it’s what friends are for. Not even friends, just humans. Sometimes we all need someone to be concerned for us. He wasn’t making it about him, he was just checking you’re okay. The fact you’ve turned it into something it isn’t is quite sad really. Do better.
I agree. I’ve been cut off by a few “friends” over the years and it’s really hurtful.
I don’t want friends now because I’m worried incase they cut me off again.
The worst thing I found when I had “friends” was when they were in a bad mood or feeling down or whatever and they’d be funny with me. One word replies, ignoring me etc.
We’ve all gone through tit, but why some people feel the need to treat their “friends” badly or cut them off completely when they do, I don’t understand. It’s hurtful to be on the receiving end of it.
I didn’t ask for anyone’s opinion on this to be quite honest, so I don’t get where you think you get the legitimacy to assess my decision to not return a text or cut someone off. You don’t know the dynamics of this friendship, so how can you judge exactly?
I never said he was making it about him…at all. You said that and twisted my words. I even said in my original post “I know it’s coming from a good place”, so for you to twist it and say I think he’s making it all about him is not appropriate.
You don’t come across as nice person either if you call people bleep and judge one decision they made without understand or knowing the dynamic of a friendship or context.
I’ve also been cut off on the past by friends who moved on once they moved countries or had a baby. It hurts, but sometimes your priorities don’t align anymore and you’ve just grown apart, especially if you’ve just been texting with this person for 4/5 years without seeing them. Is that a friendship? Really? Texting someone every 3 or 4 months for 4 years without ever seeing them? Not really.
You literally posted on a discussion forum. If you didn’t want anyone’s opinions, why did you post? Your whole post screams a bad attitude to be fair. Take it as this - you can see people disagreeing with you so maybe have a think about it. Someone had the AUDACITY to check you were okay and you turned it into feeling annoyed about it and decided to post a long post on a forum about it. Yeah, okay.
and the whole ‘I don’t want to maintain the feelings/worries of someone else’ part of your post is astounding. It’s literally someone asking if you’re okay. That’s it. That’s all. It was a nice thing that this person did.
Again, you don’t know the dynamics of this friendship and the context. It’s not about his text. I’ll leave it at that.
I shouldn’t have posted this on a thread where people don’t have friends and therefore seek any kind of friendship to come along. I definitely should have posted this elsewhere because there clearly is some bias on here.
By the way - Funny you guys are giving grand lessons on friendship when you call other women cunts. Calling a woman a bleep even using that term towards another woman is disgraceful and doesn’t make you look like nice people either.
Have a nice day.
I’ve never posted on this thread - I have a read as it’s a different circumstances to mine (have too many friends to maintain) - so I feel I can give a relevant opinion here. Enjoy your day.
How strange I should find here today having thought I was on my way to a breakdown yesterday.
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