Friends (or lack of)

[mee43]

This thread has helped a lot and made me realise I am not alone. I have 1 great friend she lives abroad. I have 2 other friends I meet up occasionally.
Over the years my friendships have dwindled as I realise people never ask you questions or seem genuinely interested in your lives or let you down. I always seem to put the work in.

I find it hard now in my 30s trying to make friends. I have a 16 month year old and a baby on the way. I tried peanut but I find conversations don’t go anywhere. Also many are going to be new mothers so I’m guessing they are looking for women in similar position. Majority of people don’t seem to ask questions and only talk about themselves or some women are very competitive. In my area if you go to playgroups and repeatedly see the same people nobody says hello.
I have met people off peanut but I realise they are not a match for me.

I feel very down today could be hormonal. I just feel so alone. I want friends or women to connect with but I am not the type of person to hang out with anyone just because I am lonely. Sometimes I do ask myself if something is wrong with me.
I’m at a loss what to do.
I just needed to vent this.

Hey guys hope you’re all doing well! I’ve stumbled across this thread as to put it bluntly I’m lonely as duck.

I’m a carer for my mum and I feel that since this has happened my friends have slowly disappeared. Some don’t get the worry and anxiety that comes with having a sick parent, others just got on with life which I totally get. In some ways I guess I have pushed some people away, but I’ve been suffering with my mental health badly the last few years. I have an amazing boyfriend but just feel like I depend on him to go out and stuff.

I turn 30 this year, the idea of the a party is out of the window purely because I don’t have a strong friendship group anymore. It’s so hard but find it difficult to open up to people about what’s going on. I just feel so lonely and sad seeing others having fun with friends. I think of when I get married will I have a maid of honour or bridesmaids? God parents for my children. It’s just a horrible feeling.

Thank you for reading

Sending hugs to both of you. Something I’ve learned from this thread is that people who have good, solid, two way friendships are incredibly blessed.
I wish I had advice to offer; I can only say that I whole heartedly understand and empathise with both of you. It’s really hard to feel alone at the school gates, or to have the worry of a sick parent and no one to pick up the phone to offer a listening ear xx

As for me; I’ve concluded that I’m the problem
I’m so very forgettable - someone at work couldn’t even remember my name the other day.
Someone in my old job posted to our chat group that they were leaving, and my phone was buzzing for the next hour with people sending lovely messages ( including me - she’s a lovely lady) but I couldn’t help compare with when I left; I don’t think many noticed I’d gone!
I can’t help who I am but I’d love to have been one of those people who others seek out because they’re good company.
Does make you feel a bit miserable knowing that you’re out of sight and out of mind

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Ah man, sending love to everyone today.

Not really sure what to say or give advice or anything, just a lot of love and solidarity.

We’re getting to the end of this thread and I will create a new one if that’s okay with everyone. I think it’s helpful to have somewhere to put down how you’re feeling.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

New thread is here:

Friends (or lack of) #2

Thread 2 for those of us feeling a bit lonely or let down. Previous thread here: https://tattle.life/threads/friends-or-lack-of.11781/

tattle.life