If SM makes you feel worse then that's a positive and healthy thing to do. Sorry you're feeling so rubbish. People and life can be cruel but always bear in mind people can and will surprise you and the trajectory of life can change for the better in the blink of an eye. Stay strongThink I'm going to delete my accounts on everything. Just had enough of people, life, everything
When I was at my absolute lowest, they kept pushing medication on me that did nothing to help me, and it turned out I had virtually no vitamin d. I’m not just flippantly saying it’s definitely that for you, but if your medication isn’t working, it wouldn’t hurt to try a high dose vitamin d3 with k2, in oil for best absorption, for a couple of weeks and see if you feel even a tiny bit better. When I’m very down I usually have stopped taking mine and I begin by taking two a day for a week and then down to one but it helps a bit in a day or so.I give up. I give up on life. I give up begging for help and getting nothing. I tell social services to take my kid, I get told I'm a good mum. I tell them printouts with generic breathing exercises and telling me to do self care isn't helpful against a life of traumas.
I've never felt truly loved by anyone. MH team literally told my GP I'm happy after they told them I was at their office in crisis. I'm too ill to swap medication but medication is t helping.
I failed at ODing multiple times. Failed at healthy relationships. Failed at life.
If I was an material object I would be in landfill. I'm too complex for most services to even go near me. There is no help. No one cares. I want to vanish.
I’m really glad you said this out loud. What you’re describing doesn’t sound like giving up so much as being utterly exhausted from fighting for help and not being met. Anyone would feel broken after that. Being told you’re “a good mum” when you’re asking for help isn’t comfort, it’s a system missing the point of what you’re saying.I give up. I give up on life. I give up begging for help and getting nothing. I tell social services to take my kid, I get told I'm a good mum. I tell them printouts with generic breathing exercises and telling me to do self care isn't helpful against a life of traumas.
I've never felt truly loved by anyone. MH team literally told my GP I'm happy after they told them I was at their office in crisis. I'm too ill to swap medication but medication is t helping.
I failed at ODing multiple times. Failed at healthy relationships. Failed at life.
If I was an material object I would be in landfill. I'm too complex for most services to even go near me. There is no help. No one cares. I want to vanish.
Sometimes all we can do is listen; and make sure people know they are heard.It is at times like this, that you wish you knew the right things to say to people. I feel for everyone going through a bad time right now.
When I was at my absolute lowest, they kept pushing medication on me that did nothing to help me, and it turned out I had virtually no vitamin d. I’m not just flippantly saying it’s definitely that for you, but if your medication isn’t working, it wouldn’t hurt to try a high dose vitamin d3 with k2, in oil for best absorption, for a couple of weeks and see if you feel even a tiny bit better. When I’m very down I usually have stopped taking mine and I begin by taking two a day for a week and then down to one but it helps a bit in a day or so.
Hang in there.
Sometimes you don’t realise how much you mean to someone in your life btw! The fact that you’ve even come onto here and posted on a forum where everyone is sharing their struggles shows you’re a caring person. You also sound like a lovely mum. Just talk to us here if you feel lonely. You’re not alone okIm about as depressed as a person can be. There is not a single person in the world aside from my daughter who cares that im alive. Who’s life would be affected if I wasn’t here. I am so very very sad. I’d never pass my pain onto my daughter by ending it so I’m safe but is this it? Is this as good as life gets?
my therapist always corrects me when I use the word “should” she’s like WHO WROTE THE BOOK OF SHOULDS?!I think the phrase “I should be” is all too familiar with me. Feel what you feel, some things like your friendship ending has got you down and that’s fine to feel sad, it doesn’t matter how brief it was. You don’t need to feel anything that you don’t (hope that makes sense) I’ve really given up on counselling tbh. I just don’t feel like anyone is actually understanding what gets me down and it’s like a tick box process and giving me tasks for a week about thinking how I used to be to be happy and really a lot has happened to me the past 10 years, maybe I won’t get to feel that way again and it’s really not helping me to try and focus on that person. Long story short I think I’m going to quit therapy for a while. Tattle can be my therapy and I don’t have to payhere for anyone who wants to chat
Exactly!my therapist always corrects me when I use the word “should” she’s like WHO WROTE THE BOOK OF SHOULDS?!
And it’s true.you either feel something or you don’t, you either want to do something or you don’t xx