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I give up. I give up on life. I give up begging for help and getting nothing. I tell social services to take my kid, I get told I'm a good mum. I tell them printouts with generic breathing exercises and telling me to do self care isn't helpful against a life of traumas.
I've never felt truly loved by anyone. MH team literally told my GP I'm happy after they told them I was at their office in crisis. I'm too ill to swap medication but medication is t helping.
I failed at ODing multiple times. Failed at healthy relationships. Failed at life.
If I was an material object I would be in landfill. I'm too complex for most services to even go near me. There is no help. No one cares. I want to vanish.
I've never felt truly loved by anyone. MH team literally told my GP I'm happy after they told them I was at their office in crisis. I'm too ill to swap medication but medication is t helping.
I failed at ODing multiple times. Failed at healthy relationships. Failed at life.
If I was an material object I would be in landfill. I'm too complex for most services to even go near me. There is no help. No one cares. I want to vanish.
Think I'm going to delete my accounts on everything. Just had enough of people, life, everything
If SM makes you feel worse then that's a positive and healthy thing to do. Sorry you're feeling so rubbish. People and life can be cruel but always bear in mind people can and will surprise you and the trajectory of life can change for the better in the blink of an eye. Stay strong
It is at times like this, that you wish you knew the right things to say to people. I feel for everyone going through a bad time right now.
When I was at my absolute lowest, they kept pushing medication on me that did nothing to help me, and it turned out I had virtually no vitamin d. I’m not just flippantly saying it’s definitely that for you, but if your medication isn’t working, it wouldn’t hurt to try a high dose vitamin d3 with k2, in oil for best absorption, for a couple of weeks and see if you feel even a tiny bit better. When I’m very down I usually have stopped taking mine and I begin by taking two a day for a week and then down to one but it helps a bit in a day or so.
Hang in there.
It’s really hard to stay positive some times, especially with the way the world is, but I just wanted to say that this thread (and others on here) really do show the best in humanity.
Strangers who take the time to empathise and offer heartfelt suggestions to each other really lift my spirits.
I always tell my children that most people are kind and good and to hold that thought close when things feel hard. These threads are testament to that sentiment.
Strangers who take the time to empathise and offer heartfelt suggestions to each other really lift my spirits.
I always tell my children that most people are kind and good and to hold that thought close when things feel hard. These threads are testament to that sentiment.
I’m really glad you said this out loud. What you’re describing doesn’t sound like giving up so much as being utterly exhausted from fighting for help and not being met. Anyone would feel broken after that. Being told you’re “a good mum” when you’re asking for help isn’t comfort, it’s a system missing the point of what you’re saying.
You haven’t failed at life. You’ve survived a huge amount with very little meaningful support, and that takes strength even when it doesn’t feel like it. Wanting to vanish isn’t the same as wanting to die as often it’s wanting the pain, the effort, the explaining, the constant disappointment to stop.
You are not disposable. You are not landfill. You are a human being who has been let down repeatedly, and that kind of neglect can make anyone believe they don’t matter. The fact that services struggle with complexity doesn’t mean you’re beyond help. I can’t fix what’s happening, but I do want you to know this: someone has read your words and taken you seriously. You deserve care that goes beyond worksheets and platitudes. If things feel unbearable right now, please consider reaching out to someone who can be with you in real time - in the UK, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123, or you can text SHOUT to 85258. You don’t have to justify your feelings; just be honest.
You’re not invisible here. And you don’t have to carry this alone, even if it’s felt that way for far too long.
Im sorry I cant offer any advice as I am still clawing my way out of a dark hole myself. I just wanted to add , that I love this thread and Im praying for all of us to have brighter days ahead ✨️
Sometimes all we can do is listen; and make sure people know they are heard.
Thank you all. Sometimes I wish I could afford private care.
I've had bloods done previously and nothing stood out, but I will look into taking some vitamins as it can't hurt.
I've had bloods done previously and nothing stood out, but I will look into taking some vitamins as it can't hurt.
Sometimes you don’t realise how much you mean to someone in your life btw! The fact that you’ve even come onto here and posted on a forum where everyone is sharing their struggles shows you’re a caring person. You also sound like a lovely mum. Just talk to us here if you feel lonely. You’re not alone ok
I'm quite irritated at the moment, because I've been contacted by the councelling service that I was very briefly involved with at the beginning of the year. They want me to fill out a questionnaire to assess my current mood.
Baring in mind that my last contact with them ended weeks ago, after my one and only coucelling session, which didn't work out! Funding and the counceler's availability, were the reasons it didn't work out. Anyway, I haven't given up on coucelling, I am trying to arrange something else.
I also feel despondent because a breif friendship has ended. It wasn't a real life friendship, it was mostly text messages. I am trying not to brood on it, but it isn't easy.
On the bright side though, it is a lovely sunny day outside. I really should be out enjoying it.
Baring in mind that my last contact with them ended weeks ago, after my one and only coucelling session, which didn't work out! Funding and the counceler's availability, were the reasons it didn't work out. Anyway, I haven't given up on coucelling, I am trying to arrange something else.
I also feel despondent because a breif friendship has ended. It wasn't a real life friendship, it was mostly text messages. I am trying not to brood on it, but it isn't easy.
On the bright side though, it is a lovely sunny day outside. I really should be out enjoying it.
I think the phrase “I should be” is all too familiar with me. Feel what you feel, some things like your friendship ending has got you down and that’s fine to feel sad, it doesn’t matter how brief it was. You don’t need to feel anything that you don’t (hope that makes sense) I’ve really given up on counselling tbh. I just don’t feel like anyone is actually understanding what gets me down and it’s like a tick box process and giving me tasks for a week about thinking how I used to be to be happy and really a lot has happened to me the past 10 years, maybe I won’t get to feel that way again and it’s really not helping me to try and focus on that person. Long story short I think I’m going to quit therapy for a while. Tattle can be my therapy and I don’t have to pay 
here for anyone who wants to chat
here for anyone who wants to chatmy therapist always corrects me when I use the word “should” she’s like WHO WROTE THE BOOK OF SHOULDS?!I think the phrase “I should be” is all too familiar with me. Feel what you feel, some things like your friendship ending has got you down and that’s fine to feel sad, it doesn’t matter how brief it was. You don’t need to feel anything that you don’t (hope that makes sense) I’ve really given up on counselling tbh. I just don’t feel like anyone is actually understanding what gets me down and it’s like a tick box process and giving me tasks for a week about thinking how I used to be to be happy and really a lot has happened to me the past 10 years, maybe I won’t get to feel that way again and it’s really not helping me to try and focus on that person. Long story short I think I’m going to quit therapy for a while. Tattle can be my therapy and I don’t have to pay
And it’s true.you either feel something or you don’t, you either want to do something or you don’t xx
Exactly!
Eurgh, everything seems so difficult. Washing up, working, studying, parenting, reading, sleeping, eating well. I’m not good at anything including starting to prioritise. I’m sick of feeling crap. I’m sick of feeling like I’m on the edge of an actual breakdown and I also have that inability to talk about it to anybody, especially without crying. Got a big birthday coming soon and I am not in the headspace to celebrate- and I don’t think any plans have been made for it by partner which makes me feel angry at him before it’s even happened. 
I’m so miserable. Tried meds- gained weight. Weight is a massive problem for me. It’s the only thing I think about constantly, more than anything else including family. Just typing out is supposed to make you feel better…. We shall see 
I’m so miserable. Tried meds- gained weight. Weight is a massive problem for me. It’s the only thing I think about constantly, more than anything else including family. Just typing out is supposed to make you feel better…. We shall see 
I regularly post on this thread & at times I disclose more than needed , but I'll keep carrying on as have no family/ support network in the real world---- & i hope one day if my family find my posts on here they'll truly understand, I still struggle alcohol, with eating and waiting for my mind to truly give in - My Type1 teen waivers between injecting or refusing to inject , and disappearing for a day or two, she smashes up our house and believes we're all in the wrong because she struggles with her mental health and her Dad being a total let down.
My niece ( same age as previous mentioned girl) has this past wk been found to of had multiple tumours on her brain , ops were so far a hit & miss , Ive stopped taking my fluoxetine as it makes me more suicidal than normal even with support
My niece ( same age as previous mentioned girl) has this past wk been found to of had multiple tumours on her brain , ops were so far a hit & miss , Ive stopped taking my fluoxetine as it makes me more suicidal than normal even with support
I am SO bloody awkward! I don’t know why!! I used to be confident and bloody normal but every conversation I have now makes me cringe! I just keep saying stupid things because I’m stressed I think. The lovely vet is here with my dog (husband is downstairs with her) and I went to say hi just to be friendly and duck ME did I come across like a head, I said “hi I’m just working” and paused…I get a big apology about how loud she’s being and then I practically bleeping shout “NO NO NO NO” meaning I’m just typing it’s not about noise I just wanted to say hi. Honestly somebody put me out of my misery!