Feathering the empty nest.

[xoxo GG]

She’s removed her PAL highlight as well. I don’t reveal much about my daughters on social media. I haven’t with either of them. We put out an obligatory Facebook status when our first daughter died to try and minimise the number of people asking me questions in the street etc. When my rainbow arrived, we did the same to let people know she’d arrived safely and all was well. We have very minimal pictures of our daughter on social media, I think if it wasn’t for having family spread across the world I wouldn’t post her at all. But I don’t pretend she doesn’t exist, I quite often put social media updates with funny tales about her. I address her as her name within those.

I think you can remain private and protect them without feeling the need to almost pretend they don’t exist. What doesn’t make sense to me at all is that we know plenty about Teddy. We’ve seen his face. We know his birth date. We know how much he weighed, the time he was born, the time he died. Yet with Olivia, we wouldn’t know a thing if it wasn’t for ‘sharing small businesses’ and the jumper. She’s active on her account pretty much daily yet we don’t hear a thing about her daughter. If you were a new follower and didn’t go back through some of her previous posts, it would be understandable that you wouldn’t even think that she had her long awaited and wished for rainbow baby. It’s like her personality now revolves around the loss of her son.

 

[HelloHelloHello123]

This women makes me sick to my stomach. She clearly is reading here, changing her bio, removing her name and the last few days has been geared all around support for women. Too little too late!!! You can't change who you are, we all know you are rotten to the core. Self driven to gain sympathy and compassion. We have seen you for who you really are and I'm sure your real life friends dropped like flies just as your followers are. Interesting that Eleanor has never shown any of her real friends on her stories and low and behold there is one from the 1990's (laughable) when someone previously had mentioned that she had lost alot of close friends. Lesson in women Eleanor 'you have to support and lift each other up - its a two way street' Not take take take, me me me ..... its exhausting. She just loves the attention - its cringe worthy.

 

[Daisydenim]

She should really get Amazon to change this if she doesn't want people getting in touch

 

[Noname123]

“Elle would love to hear from you” haha no, she’d bleeping hate it.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

She should really get Amazon to change this if she doesn't want people getting in touch

View attachment 452960

That exact paragraph about wanting people who've experienced loss was the reason my SIL contacted her. Never in a million years would she have thought she'd get the dismissive replies she did. Should have said "reach out to me so I can tell you your loss isn't as bad as mine and it's not my problem".

 

[Nellyboy]

That exact paragraph about wanting people who've experienced loss was the reason my SIL contacted her. Never in a million years would she have thought she'd get the dismissive replies she did. Should have said "reach out to me so I can tell you your loss isn't as bad as mine and it's not my problem".

Yesssss this is why I say she’s so fake. Makes out she’s so sympathetic etc to sell the books but in reality doesn’t give a shite. Thanks for pointing this out daisydenim. I can confirm from my own interaction with her, there is no way she loves to hear from people unless you are an instahun, a Surrey Hun or can benefit her or gift her something. Can’t stand fake and disingenuous people. Oops ur halo’s slipped Eleanor #fake

 

[instagrammed]

I think what I found mind blowing was her absolute snobbery in her first book regarding other peoples words to her when she lost Teddy. She needs to realise that not everyone expresses themselves in the same way and that surely people reaching out in some way is better than nothing at all. Yes she is a person who is gifted with being able to express herself in an articulate manner (privilege?) - many people are not this way. It doesn’t mean they don’t care! In actual fact although she was intending to encourage an open dialogue about child loss, she actually made me feel that I would be scared to approach somebody in a similar situation for fear of saying the wrong thing. Total snobbery.

 

[Nellyboy]

I think what I found mind blowing was her absolute snobbery in her first book regarding other peoples words to her when she lost Teddy. She needs to realise that not everyone expresses themselves in the same way and that surely people reaching out in some way is better than nothing at all. Yes she is a person who is gifted with being able to express herself in an articulate manner (privilege?) - many people are not this way. It doesn’t mean they don’t care! In actual fact although she was intending to encourage an open dialogue about child loss, she actually made me feel that I would be scared to approach somebody in a similar situation for fear of saying the wrong thing. Total snobbery.

I completely agree . We all have to remember that Eleanor doesn’t have the monopoly on how to grieve and how to support others who have experienced loss. It’s just her opinion but she always manages to come across as so sanctimonious and as though she knows the right thing to do on all occasions. Sometimes it is hard to know what to say or do but, as you say, that doesn’t make somebody a bad person. It’s very evident now that a lot of people have received that cold, abrupt response from Eleanor, which is ironic given that she’s always banging on about kindness and how to approach grieving parents #doasisaynotasido #ohtheirony #dontaskmehername #bookout290421 #idlovetohearfromyou #noiwouldntyourenotasurreyhun

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

Yet the irony is, despite her "knowing what to say" etc, she completely stuffs up in her responses to many people who did reach out to her. She's not articulate unless it's in a public instagram post or a reply to someone famous. To anyone else, she's just like the rest of us. She says the wrong thing. I better friends who did say the 'wrong thing' to her did it from a place of kindness, her responses to many women it seems were just unkind and done to make herself seem like her loss is the only one that matters/worst loss. And what's worse is it seems she was deliberately undermining their losses despite knowing how bad a loss was and the grief it entails. Her friends likely didn't know that pain and their 'wrong words' or actions were probably intended to make Elle feel comfortable.
She also fails to realise that everyone is different. What is helpful to one mum wouldn't be helpful to another. I'm sure if I was unfortunate enough to experience a loss though, I'd rather have friends shirt around the issue like hers did instead of being told "my loss is worse" like she's fine to quite a lot of women. Just disgusting.

Sorry typos! 5am here and breastfeeding

 

[Qweenie]

I used to like Elle, but I completely agree that her mask seems to be slipping. It’s quite sad how she seems to have changed.
And utterly bizarre how she seems to be ignoring her daughter’s existence.

 

[Nellyboy]

I used to like Elle, but I completely agree that her mask seems to be slipping. It’s quite sad how she seems to have changed.
And utterly bizarre how she seems to be ignoring her daughter’s existence.

All the ‘fame’ went to her head

 

[aliceband]

I’m glad I found this thread and that people are also finding her behaviour bizarre. How can you be so open about Teddy and just completely ignore the existence of Olivia (sorry, I mean “O”). I didn’t expect to see photos of her, but there’s just no talk of her at all is there? Even referring to her nap time as “a couple of hours in the middle of the day I can get things done”. All very well and good saying you don’t want your page to turn into a baby page.... but stop sharing all your small business baby purchases then

 

[Cup of tea and a scroll]

Ladies and gentlemen, finally, our first BAME entry on the blogpost! She’s so woke #surrey #lovesabandwagon

 

[Noname123]

Ladies and gentlemen, finally, our first BAME entry on the blogpost! She’s so woke #surrey #lovesabandwagon

I’m sure she feels fantastic about herself for it as well, like she’s done someone a favour perhaps.

 

[Nellyboy]

I’m sure she feels fantastic about herself for it as well, like she’s done someone a favour perhaps.

A little bit like when she was promoting the baby sensory gift boxes for paupers! She really is rattling my cage lately, like when you really see someone for who/what they are. Tbh I think it’s amazing that 170k followers have hung around for zero content for so long. She really is a bore #fake #dontaskmehername #dupe #surreyhun #zerocontent #boringaf #lazy

 

[Tescogirl]

She gaining followers and money of a sad period in her life. Trying to make her self relatable to other women in same boat. Sorry love. Ur fake !!

 

[shoegalxo]

She’s soooo strange isn’t she... not even having her name on her new bio? Or even “mummy to Olivia” not even a mention of it

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

See I understand the premise of ‘ask me his name’
So many people feel uncomfortable with loss, I get it. She doesn’t need to plaster Olivia over the gram she’s her baby. But she chose to share she had a baby daughter called Olivia. Acknowledge her. I’m also kind of ok with the New book thing, it’s nothing we aren’t used to from actual ‘celebrities’ who pick she choose when it’s right to share their child as a commodity. But be real, say you have a book coming out. Own it.

 

[aliceband]

She’s soooo strange isn’t she... not even having her name on her new bio? Or even “mummy to Olivia” not even a mention of it

I’ve just looked at her bio for the first time in a long time and it definitely seems as though she’s making it a business account. All things teddy’s legacy. So I can’t imagine she ever will start to talk about “O”! She probably has a personal account for that...

 

[instagrammed]

Ah just noticed the updated bio. She is definitely reading this thread, I’d say for sure. I used to like her but I really don’t know what to think anymore. Ask me Teddy‘s name but not Olivia’s? seems a bit strange if you ask me. It also upsets me to think that people have been reaching out to her regarding baby loss and she has been brushing them off.