Fathering Autism #24 Pullups, messy hair and dirty feet. Hambeasts can’t parent but they sho can eat!

Spilled tea-yes please! · May 23, 2020

“And that last line was just a dig at Duvall Co schools....basically stating Abbie is smart but no one tried to communicate with her. I really REALLY would love to know what Duvall Co thinks now. Vindicated? I would. No offense to JSA but they havent done much with her either.”

Oversized A states she’s smart but no one tried to communicate with her.
Foreshadowing of his own actions and P’s actions. They don’t try to communicate.
They badger, prompt, say no, don’t follow up and undo any grain of progress she made.
They accommodate her presence.
They don’t communicate.

therealamylynn · May 23, 2020

Well at least they washed her feet.

8timesaroundpi · May 23, 2020

Whimsical said:
Did Abbie “surf”at any other events, or just the one time in the video we’ve all seen? The article makes it seem like it, or maybe I read it wrong. If it was such a positive experience for her, why didn’t ASSa & get her out there on a regular basis? I know the answer, (lazy) but it’s worth saying.

why doesnt SumSum take her out surfing more? they are besties! it would be great!

blindfoldedbobcat · May 23, 2020

8timesaroundpi said:
why doesnt SumSum take her out surfing more? they are besties! it would be great!

Abbie is a biker chick now. How does that bike work without her feet rotating around the pedals at all? I mean, it seemed to propel forward with her just moving her feet up and down slightly.

BloodyMermaid · May 23, 2020

8timesaroundpi said:
why doesnt SumSum take her out surfing more? they are besties! it would be great!

At the event it takes 3-4 people out there in the water with her so I don’t think one person unfortunately could handle the responsibility.

allthatnutters23 · May 23, 2020

lovesis said:
I just don’t believe this. If Zilla was a full time manager at Lowes and Asa was running the motorcycle shop, when would they have had time? In addition to learning, attending school actually helps parents by having a place their child can go for 8 hours.

Why? This comment is disgusting and ignorant. Maybe read about special education laws etc before commenting this trash. Sorry this isn't 1950's where special needs kids were sent to institutions and kicked out of schools.

Pink Marshmallow · May 23, 2020

Spilled tea-yes please! said:
“And that last line was just a dig at Duvall Co schools....basically stating Abbie is smart but no one tried to communicate with her. I really REALLY would love to know what Duvall Co thinks now. Vindicated? I would. No offense to JSA but they havent done much with her either.”

Oversized A states she’s smart but no one tried to communicate with her.
Foreshadowing of his own actions and P’s actions. They don’t try to communicate.
They badger, prompt, say no, don’t follow up and undo any grain of progress she made.
They accommodate her presence.
They don’t communicate.

This is one of the things that truly frustrates me. A&P's astounding lack of truly communicating with Abbie. Meaning not just talking at her and barking orders and prompting all the time. Actually listening to her when she tries to communicate with her signs or device and not just dismissing her because you want her to do something else regardless of what she wants or how she feels. They also don't really seem to try to figure out the reasons behind some of her behaviors. They just chalk it up to her being difficult, defiant, or lazy. Which, don't get me wrong, sometimes she is those things... but that isn't the case 100% of the time.
Then adding to that them undoing any progress she has made at school or with her therapists. It became obvious to me a while ago that A&P expect the school/therapists to do all the work and then A&P can reap the benefits of that and do the very bare minimum to replicate what the experts do. Then there's Asa who continuously decides that he knows best and doesn't have to listen to what the teachers/therapists say and just does things in the ways that are most convenient for him.

This is why I still say that Abbie IS capable of more. That she's not completely unteachable or a lost cause. Abbie requires a lot of help, support, care and attention. When she isn't getting those things, she regresses which shouldn't be surprising. When A&P are doing the bare minimum and Asa is doing things his own way, then yes, it's going to appear that Abbie is unteachable or a lost cause. If A&P put in more time and effort, if they followed through with what JSA and her therapists tell them to do at home, I think we'd see a definite difference.

lovesis · May 23, 2020

allthatnutters23 said:
Why? This comment is disgusting and ignorant. Maybe read about special education laws etc before commenting this trash. Sorry this isn't 1950's where special needs kids were sent to institutions and kicked out of schools.

What exactly did I say that offended you?

Elsie · May 23, 2020

S*s#:%===

Whimsical said:
I was reading another link a few days back regarding their lawsuit, I will include the link at the bottom.
After reading the article, many questionable things jumped out at me.

This article was from when Abbie was 9. All of the complaints they had about her lack of learning are still issues today, and this is six years after this article was published. She really is not teachable, and the school knows it.

Autism or not, teaching begins at home. Truth be told, they have not bothered to parent her properly from the start. Imagine if they had put even a tiny bit of effort into consistently teaching routines at home, how different things might be now. Instead, they have created a monster.

Examples from the article...

"What is an appropriate education for a 9-year-old girl who is nonverbal because she has severe autism and is so developmentally delayed she is not potty-trained and will eat things that are not food?"
Six years later and she still is not potty trained and eats things that are not food.

"She has a tendency to wander off, can eat non-food objects, can throw tantrums and be aggressive, and scream or make grunts. She also can bite herself on her arms when she's upset, her parents say, and has never spoken and cannot read."
Six years later and she still does all of the above.

"Abigail had not only failed to make progress after several years but had regressed in some areas of behavior at class, the judge said."
Six years later and from what we observed during their pathetic attempt to homeschool, she has again regressed and makes little or no progress.

"One day, Abigail came home covered in ant bites; another day she had homemade Play-doh and sand on her clothes and might have put some in her mouth, her parents said. The judge said there was no evidence proving she ingested Play-doh."
Six years later and she is still dirty, and hello, she puts anything she can in her mouth and will try to eat anything, including dirt.

Classroom doors and exterior gates were sometimes left open, even though Abigail was known to run away from adults.
This is the only thing so far I can agree with.

In Abigail's case, the judge pointed out that her communication challenges might have been exacerbated by the school's unwillingness to get an iPad for her to communicate.
If they felt an iPad would have helped that much, why didn't ASSa and just get her one? If she were my child, I would have done all I could to give her the best chance. Not these two boneheads, they just wanted to put the blame on everyone else.

A Plea for Abigail's Learning

As a young nurse i was working 4 years in a psychiatric ward.
The was an elderly lady, non-verbal and profound mentally disabled since she was born.
I never met such a challeging woman before. She was very agressive, especially to other patients and was a danger for them beeing around. She was hitting, kicking and spitting and even

RocketQueen said:
They had Isaiah on the news when he was very young, maybe 8, ??, with his lemonade stand to raise money for Surfers With Autism.
Asa is crazy like a fox.

He's a little man who believes the world routates around him. Mr.Know it all want to be famous and adored, getting rich because he deserves it for being on this planet.
In fact he's nothing. A loser without education or any qualification.
He doesn't even realize what his vain and greedy behavior can ruin the future
carriee of his son.

Stripe69 · May 23, 2020

lovesis said:
Summer had to grab her right after because she veered off.

Smoke and mirrors

8timesaroundpi said:
why doesnt SumSum take her out surfing more? they are besties! it would be great!

Probably because regardless of what they say she can’t really surf .

RocketQueen said:
They've been pushing this "Surfer Girl" crap for years. And here's P saying she gets teary eyed because Abbie is transformed (basically) by surfing. And yet in all these years of vlogs I have never seen them take Abbie surfing on their own without an SFA event going on. Either they dont want to do the work involved for her to "surf", or they just go because they want the attention. I dont believe they skipped her meds for a minute but it fits their narrative.

When I have seen a her “ surfing video “ she is basically sat on the board with two or three people holding her on there.

ABAPQueen1995 · May 23, 2020

RocketQueen said:
They all hang on her too much for my liking. I am not against hugs or affection. And I realize she is toddler-like, but "like" is the operative word. Abbie doesnt know who should or shouldnt be doing that....and making her hug strangers at meet-ups....it bugs me. Give the kid some space.

WoahThatsCrazy · May 23, 2020

Kimmied said:
I’m sorry if this is a repeat. The article says Abbie worked with the specialist for 10 years, and Abbie was 12 when the article was published. Am I that bad at math or do the numbers not match up?

Often doctors scare parents into doing "early intervention" -as young as two even - especially with ABA, because they assume that the autism itself is going to be the problem and that they won't/will never meet their developmental milestones..just because they are autistic. They (doctors and then parents) began to think that if their child doesn't develop "normally" then they won't develop at all...even though 'normal' is overrated
Autistic people just develop on their own timelines, since their brains are just wired differently, that's all

Kermy said:
I know. When you look at the very early vlogs you can tell Abbies regressed. This vlog from 2014 she gets a drink, now she can't seem to do anything without a constant prompt

WTF happened, Abbie appeared to have potential to be able to do so much more but A and P robbed her of it.
TBH I can't watch the very early vlogs without getting

I suspect it's partly to do with A&P shitiness..but also to do with ABA (especially their extensive use of it), as I'm pretty sure they use prompts very heavily very regularly in that type of therapy. (Although to be fair to Brandi, she does seem to be straying from the most extreme harsh therapy methods, like saying she didn't like forced compliance - even though A&P still use it, imo, and she did try to phase out prompting..but still, #YesAllABA)

Also I just wanted ot give a quick shoutout to @ABAPQueen1995 hey! Nice seeing you here after our short intermezzo on FB lol! Also a few threads ago you tagged me in a post about how puzzle pieces - for autism- are bad, thank you for that, and I always enjoy reading your posts *heart*

Summer gets in Abbie's space, the hambeasts lie lie lie, their pants are on fire

This is my very first attempt at making up a new thread title since I think we're almost there again...

Hannah'sMama · May 23, 2020

Pink Marshmallow said:
This is one of the things that truly frustrates me. A&P's astounding lack of truly communicating with Abbie. Meaning not just talking at her and barking orders and prompting all the time. Actually listening to her when she tries to communicate with her signs or device and not just dismissing her because you want her to do something else regardless of what she wants or how she feels. They also don't really seem to try to figure out the reasons behind some of her behaviors. They just chalk it up to her being difficult, defiant, or lazy. Which, don't get me wrong, sometimes she is those things... but that isn't the case 100% of the time.

I want to heart/co-sign everything in this comment. The very basics of helping an individual, regardless if they're ND or NT, is understanding what is driving a certain behavior. If your child is engaging in head banging (for example), stopping/redirecting the behavior without finding out what is causing it (over/under stimulation, pain, attention-seeking, inability to deal with strong emotion, etc) will only act as a band-aid job.

Pink Marshmallow said:
Then adding to that them undoing any progress she has made at school or with her therapists. It became obvious to me a while ago that A&P expect the school/therapists to do all the work and then A&P can reap the benefits of that and do the very bare minimum to replicate what the experts do. Then there's Asa who continuously decides that he knows best and doesn't have to listen to what the teachers/therapists say and just does things in the ways that are most convenient for him.

This exactly. Someone can take regular piano lessons, but unless they're practicing at home, they'll probably only achieve a limited amount of playing ability. It's the same with OT/PT/ST. I've had to end things with clients who refuse to do any follow through at home. A therapist can only do so much, if the parents don't work at maintenance at home, it's a waste of my time, their time/money, and their child's time.

Pink Marshmallow said:
This is why I still say that Abbie IS capable of more. That she's not completely unteachable or a lost cause. Abbie requires a lot of help, support, care and attention. When she isn't getting those things, she regresses which shouldn't be surprising. When A&P are doing the bare minimum and Asa is doing things his own way, then yes, it's going to appear that Abbie is unteachable or a lost cause. If A&P put in more time and effort, if they followed through with what JSA and her therapists tell them to do at home, I think we'd see a definite difference.

Do I think it's possible for Abbie to become verbal? No. Do I think she's able to understand colors, ride a bike on her own, etc. Honestly, probably not. But if A&P got their shit together, I think she would be a lot more capable than she is, too. We've seen her go to do things on her own only for Asa to confuse her with orders/prompts because she's not doing it the 'right' way. Likewise, he never gives her enough processing time before pointing and/or physically redirecting her hand. While I also think Abbie can be a bit of a brat sometimes (just like most kids and adults), I think a lot of the negative behavior we're seeing is a result of her general frustration and distress with how she's treated by the family. It's not fun to watch.

PhartBlossom · May 23, 2020

Msbullwnkl said:
I hate my Instant Pot.

I used mine 4 times, then gave it away. I didn't like it at all. I want to stir and taste and amend my food while it's cooking. (when I cook, which isn't that often)

BloodyMermaid said:
That’s a good point this bike can be dangerous. She’s not wearing a helmet if she did happen to roll away and fell off and fell just right she can hit her head and get seriously hurt. I know she hates things on her head but like I said all it take is one time.

She is moving at about 1/2 mph and if she falls off she is falling a few feet. I really cannot see the danger in that at all.

Did I hear on that last video that Asa and Priscilla both went to App State?

RocketQueen said:
They've been pushing this "Surfer Girl" crap for years. And here's P saying she gets teary eyed because Abbie is transformed (basically) by surfing. And yet in all these years of vlogs I have never seen them take Abbie surfing on their own without an SFA event going on. Either they dont want to do the work involved for her to "surf", or they just go because they want the attention. I dont believe they skipped her meds for a minute but it fits their narrative.

This kills me. They live in Fl for heaven's sake. They should have taken her weekly to the beach since she loves it so much. They just did it to be seen at an event, what a shame they can't do it just for Abbie.

therealamylynn · May 23, 2020

blindfoldedbobcat said:
Abbie is a biker chick now. How does that bike work without her feet rotating around the pedals at all? I mean, it seemed to propel forward with her just moving her feet up and down slightly.

It;s the Magic Bike edition $75.00 for the upgrade.

KateK · May 23, 2020

therealamylynn said:
It;s the Magic Bike edition $75.00 for the upgrade.

I need the Magic Bike...no peddling, no steering...my kind of bike.

therealamylynn · May 23, 2020

PhartBlossom said:
he is moving at about 1/2 mph and if she falls off she is falling a few feet. I really cannot see the danger in that at all.

I don't think Abbie could tip that bike. Having three wheels makes it much more stable than a two wheeler. What worries me if she loses balance and falls and hits her head or if God forbid a car comes careening up the street and hits her. She has no protection for her skull. But they seem to live on a quiet street so that probably will not happen. I don't think she'll ever ride independently so getting her used to a helmet isn't really something they have to work on, but it would be good if they could get her used to it. But I doubt she'd keep it on. My son rebelled when he was small. But my rule was you ride you wear it. He never really got into bike riding much he always loved to walk every where and still prefers walking over riding.

KateK · May 23, 2020

therealamylynn said:
I don't think Abbie could tip that bike. Having three wheels makes it much more stable than a two wheeler. What worries me if she loses balance and falls and hits her head or if God forbid a car comes careening up the street and hits her. She has no protection for her skull. But they seem to live on a quiet street so that probably will not happen. I don't think she'll ever ride independently so getting her used to a helmet isn't really something they have to work on, but it would be good if they could get her used to it. But I doubt she'd keep it on. My son rebelled when he was small. But my rule was you ride you wear it. He never really got into bike riding much he always loved to walk every where and still prefers walking over riding.

I don't think she will ever be out riding by herself. She will sadly always have someone next to her pushing her and steering for her.. unless its a downhill and they let her go ...like they did for the money shot which made it look like she was moving on her own.

If she is enjoying being pushed.. thats a good thing if they are willing to push her. The fact that they are most likely not pushing her for her enjoyment but for content and views.. smoke and mirrors for the fan$$zies..

BloodyMermaid · May 23, 2020

PhartBlossom said:
She is moving at about 1/2 mph and if she falls off she is falling a few feet. I really cannot see the danger in that at all.

Did I hear on that last video that Asa and Priscilla both went to App State?

We will have to agree to disagree I work in the ER and have seen kids come in with broken bones and head injuries from falling off trikes and bikes because they fell just right. I also had a man that was at a complete stop somehow fell over off his bike hit his head on the curb didn’t think anything of it till two days later when his wife had to call an ambulance because he was passed out on the floor unconscious. Unfortunately by that time his brain had swelled so much that they tried everything, emergency surgery to relieve the swelling but that wasn’t enough and he died 2 days later. Freak accidents do happen.

PhartBlossom · May 23, 2020

BloodyMermaid said:
We will have to agree to disagree I work in the ER and have seen kids come in with broken bones and head injuries from falling off trikes and bikes because they fell just right. I also had a man that was at a complete stop somehow fell over off his bike hit his head on the curb didn’t think anything of it till two days later when his wife had to call an ambulance because he was passed out on the floor unconscious. Unfortunately by that time his brain had swelled so much that they tried everything, emergency surgery to relieve the swelling but that wasn’t enough and he died 2 days later. Freak accidents do happen.

Freak accidents do happen. You can fall out of bed too but would you wear a helmet to bed? I just cannot imagine Abbie being alone ever on that bike for anything to happen.

Fathering Autism #24 Pullups, messy hair and dirty feet. Hambeasts can’t parent but they sho can eat!

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