Yes I live in Indiana and watched it all the time growing up.
Yes I live in Indiana and watched it all the time growing up.You’re from Indy if you know that!
That definitely helps me understand it better. For me, I wasn't focusing so much on the hands waiting itself but more the motive of trying to interrupt the escalation of negative thoughts/feelings before it goes too far. Your example of taking a moment to go outside to yell, take a deep breath etc is an example of what I'm talking about. But also, on a more simple level, say if your child is preoccupied with something else and you want to let them know it's time to try and focus (however focusing works for them, it doesn't need to look the same way for everyone).The problem with 'hands-waiting' (imo) is that it's kind of a blanket way of trying to gain attention, conformity, etc. I would rather see something that is tailored to the individual and allows them to self-soothe in a more helpful way. Just as an example, I was told to use my 'sweet voice' as a child when my volume would start to creep up. As a result, I still tend to revert into a Priscilla like voice (I know, it's horrible) when I'm excited, stressed, or emotional in another way. What my caregivers should have done is something like take me outside to have a big yell, take a deep breath, gently ask me to assign a volume level to myself and to 'turn it down' to whatever is appropriate to a situation.
In other words, if 'hands-waiting' works for someone without causing distress, I think it's perfectly fine. But if it seems to cause even more tension (as I feel it does with Abbie, YMMV), then other methods should be explored.
I remember him saying something about wanting to be near the mountains.I can't recall the reason he chose App state. Unless they specialize in the field he's interested in getting into? Someone else probably remembers this better than I do. lol
It's about a 6-8 hr drive from Jacksonville, Fla.
This is something I have an issue with. When the subject of discipline is brought up, obviously I can't speak for everyone but my feeling is that most of us don't see discipline as something used to suppress who a child is or to fit them into a mold that doesn't work for the child but is more convenient to the parent. That an autistic child should be free to stim as often as they want in whatever way they want and their parents, and by extension society has to adjust around that.I find it very interesting that you brought up ADHD. Quite some time ago I explained my history of ADHD to another member. I had ABA and CBT for years. My behavior was as bad as one could imagine before therapy and medication, I was even removed from school at one point. And this was in the 70's when the term ADHD wasnt even used yet. It was diagnosed simply Hyperactivity Disorder. I expressed gratitude toward my mother, psychologist and therapists for teaching me, and becoming who I am today. You immediately replied and said you were "tired" of hearing people say they "think" they have ADHD when they do not, and then tried to say I never had ABA because if I had I wouldn't support it. You literally changed my own life story to fit your beliefs, then began to hurl around the ableist term and told me to get on Facebook to "educate myself."
You bring up Carly frequently, who herself has admitted to wishing she could be "fixed". You said "I blame that on internalized ableism." Again, not up to you to edit someones experience and feelings to fit your beliefs. One of our members here spoke beautifully about how ABA had helped her children, that was dismissed with "Carly doesnt approve of ABA." Ironic, since Carly didnt teach herself to communicate and understand language. ABA did that. A few weeks ago I also brought up the fact that you seem to like to come here to call us ableists, and frankly it appears as if you'd rather have autistic people just stimming alone in a room all day, eating rocks, or eloping into traffic than try to be "normal". And normal doesnt mean "looking people in the eye", it means being able to care for ones self properly, not being allowed to harm oneself in the name of stimming, and to communicate effectively in any manner. If you dont want that, you must be an ableist too.
I certainly wasn’t asking you to explain the meanings to me, I am a very well educated woman and more than able to research things if I need to know about a subject. In this case however I know perfectly well what they mean , I just don’t like the expressions, they are sweeping generalisations which I abhor .Well absoutlely not, I don't want to cause division or anything, etc x And your last sentence, yes, that's correct, but sadly, there are many ablest people out there in the word who love to make fun of disabled people and discriminate and not give out resourcesx
I'd have to refresh my memory, but I believe you said that people told Abbie 'hands waiting' while doing tasks so that she'd concentrate better? Please feel free to remind me, I don't want to be mistaken
But many adults who aren't autistic do speak over us - such as Assa! - and try to tell us why we do certain things. For instance, many years ago, people believed that autistic people didn't have any empathy. This is simply untrue as many autistic people, including me, will point out and demonstrate, particularly when we see people - especially vulnerable people like ourselves - in distress. Yet the lack of empathy theory damaged many autistic people for years, it would've made them targets for being isolated and bullied at school by teachers, students, etc, and made parents believe they need to "learn how to socialise appropriately" - which is also an ablest and arbitrary notion. Or the suppression of stims, or forcing eye contact. All of that was created with (what I call) Neurotypical Bias, because they only saw it from *their* point of view, not the autistic persons' - therefore showing a lack of theory of mind and empathy (haha, get it?!) Also another example could be thinking (many years ago, although some people might still hold this belief today, who knows) that those with ADHD are just 'lazy' and 'annoying' and 'not applying themselves'. Uh, no, the feeling of not being able to concentrate and feeling like you're on a sugar high when you don't want to be would be worse, I imagine.
Again, another (potential) example of Neurotypical Bias, of not taking the time to listen to the real experts and learn to help the way those who do experience these challenges (caused by a challenging and overwhelming environment) say is helpful, such as using OT/PT/ST/communication devices to your advantage, and provide support and resources
But your reply was very helpful, and did remind me to take into consideration all of the kind NT's who are indeed listening to autistic people, donating to ASAN (NOT A$, supporting our preference of the neurodiversity symbol, etc etc. x
(In case people need reminding, Assa and Pissicilla don't do any of that, there are still hundreds of posts in FB autistic-led groups blasting this family for their horrific treatments of their daughter and their unwillingness to listen, and hundreds of comments blasting them for ignoring these such posts/comments). smh.
Able-splaining - meaning basically the same thing as mansplaining, but to disabled people, eg telling them they "just need to try harder" (they might need resources for that, Karen!) or telling wheelchair users they're faking it, or their pain isn't as bad, etc, or trying to tell a blind person what a cane is for etc etc.
NT bias, see above, but basically, telling an autistic person why they're dong things and what kinds of things they need help with or not, all often with the goal of "normalising" in mind, eg, not stimming, eye contact, playing with toys "socially appropriately" etc etc. You'd be amazed with what goes on. I'd suggest reading up on autistic writings such as NeuroClastic, Thinking Guide To Autism, etc)
Cis woman - why does that one get to you? That's making a distinction between trans woman and cic woman, since they may require different medical treatments, and society can still be incredibly transphobic at times, and denying transwomen/men care, equality, etc.
Ablest = discriminating against disabled people in any way shape or form. You'd be surprised at what happens/can happen.
Oh look, I've found something, Assa should be aware of *eye roll*
(Source: http://www.equalityni.org/ECNI/media/ECNI/Publications/Delivering Equality/UNCRPDOptionalProtocolPlainlanguage.pdf ) Edit to fix typos
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Beautifully said.I find it very interesting that you brought up ADHD. Quite some time ago I explained my history of ADHD to another member. I had ABA and CBT for years. My behavior was as bad as one could imagine before therapy and medication, I was even removed from school at one point. And this was in the 70's when the term ADHD wasnt even used yet. It was diagnosed simply Hyperactivity Disorder. I expressed gratitude toward my mother, psychologist and therapists for teaching me, and becoming who I am today. You immediately replied and said you were "tired" of hearing people say they "think" they have ADHD when they do not, and then tried to say I never had ABA because if I had I wouldn't support it. You literally changed my own life story to fit your beliefs, then began to hurl around the ableist term and told me to get on Facebook to "educate myself."
You bring up Carly frequently, who herself has admitted to wishing she could be "fixed". You said "I blame that on internalized ableism." Again, not up to you to edit someones experience and feelings to fit your beliefs. One of our members here spoke beautifully about how ABA had helped her children, that was dismissed with "Carly doesnt approve of ABA." Ironic, since Carly didnt teach herself to communicate and understand language. ABA did that. A few weeks ago I also brought up the fact that you seem to like to come here to call us ableists, and frankly it appears as if you'd rather have autistic people just stimming alone in a room all day, eating rocks, or eloping into traffic than try to be "normal". And normal doesnt mean "looking people in the eye", it means being able to care for ones self properly, not being allowed to harm oneself in the name of stimming, and to communicate effectively in any manner. If you dont want that, you must be an ableist too.
Lots of kids get splinters, and lots of kids (and adults) don't wear shoes outside. As long as you aren't in a public place, I really do not get the issue with the shoe thing. I see this criticism on other YTers content too and I just don't get it. Abbie clearly has a sensory issue with shoes. Sensory issues are a real thing and forcing her to wear shoes in the comfort of her own home when she doesn't need to is silly and kind of cruel, IMO. Unless I'm in a store or something along those lines, I really try not to judge people for not forcing their children to wear shoes. Aside from sensory issues, there are other reasons to not wear them. Abnormal foot structure, missing toes/part of the foot can make shoes painful and hard to wear. Kids with upper body disabilities (ex: arthrogryposis) can also have a hard time with shoes because they make balance more difficult for them. I'm sure there are others.She wouldn't get splinters in her feet if they'd make her keep her shoes on.
This reinforces P and S being Amanda/Tonia. I bet they read this and a new defence person appears in the commentsWell, Amanda Lee commented to the Pollyanna woman that they do value the stuff the leg humpers send them. There was another comment praising Pollyanna's comment that was deleted right before Amanda Lee responded to Pollyanna. Interesting!
With Abbie, this stuff runs deep. Her ability/inability to focus could have a root cause in so many things (same with an NT child) - lack of regular sleeping pattern, lack of schedule, Seroquel being the wrong dose, hideous diet/insufficient (if any) vitamins, not enough exercise, not enough engagement/too much boredom, not enough fresh air/sunshine, etc. I would address all of these things while trying to find different ways to help her attend to something.From what I've observed, hands waiting is kind of hit or miss w. Abbie. There are times when it clearly does stress her out even more and is not helping. But I have also seen times where she responded to it w.out any fuss. Some might say that's only because she's been conditioned to respond that way. That could be true. I'm just saying that it doesn't always seem to further stress her out. Out of curiosity, what would be some gentler ways to ask her to pay attention begin a task?
Exciting detective work!! If you uncover an address, let us know where we can write and possibly get some attention brought to this matter. Asa was begging his subs to all write letters in protest to the usage of Abbie’s picture on that Essential Oil ad. Ok. Turn abouts fair play.Hmmm..
I know they haven’t register MaassSquad Cares as a 501c3 organization or any type of non-profit organization with Florida DOR..
When I searched for all business and organizations, nothing but Maass Media came up... Which surprised me that P didn’t have to register her LifeLime under but someone said she was probably just a 1099 contractor..
I wonder how an email or letter to them would do? Going to have to start some digging to see if I can get an address..
You’ll are completely correct though. If P is soliciting donations for an organization and that organization is not registered with the state, that is illegal. All non-profits are required to register and keep up records of all donations and expenditures...
Thank you so much for saying this! The guilt is deep stuff. Logically and intellectually I know it isn't my fault and I have no reason to feel guilty. Feelings, much to my dismay, give zero fuks about logical thoughts.Absolutely, you matter! I'm very protective of siblings of individuals with special needs - be they physical and/or mental. They're often put into the role of caregiver or little adult (like Isaiah and yourself, I believe). You guys didn't sign up for this and shouldn't be expected to suffer or put your lives on hold for the sake of your sibling. You have spoken of your brother before and I truly believe you are doing the best for him that you possibly can. Using ND as an excuse for harmful behavior just isn't valid. It might explain it sure, but it's not a get out of jail free card. For example, if I snap at someone when I'm hypo-manic, fair enough it was caused by my illness. But it doesn't excuse my behavior - I hurt someone and if I'm a good person, I need to seek atonement and try to make sure that this doesn't happen again.
I sense you carry a lot of guilt surrounding your brother and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I won't say something meaningless like 'you shouldn't feel guilty!' because that doesn't really help (at least it doesn't with me). Just know that while your guilt is perfectly understandable (a lot of people in your position feel this way), it's definitely misplaced. I think that from what you've said in the past that your parents could have made better decisions regarding you and your brother; and sometimes we feel guilt on behalf of others that should have known better. Does that make sense? This is deep stuff, sometimes it can be hard to express in words (at least for me). Long story short, you're actively trying to make things better for your brother and that's way more than a lot of siblings would be willing to do.
I'm sure they do throw alot of it away. There was one vlog where they brought out some neat looking table and actually said that it had been sitting in their garage for a year before they even looked at it. Apparently, a fan had made it and sent it to them a long time ago and they didn't even bother to look at it.Yes i think it's pretty gross i wonder if they do chuck some stuff in the trash and seems like a waste of money from these fans
Yes I remember that, it was a really nice item. I thought to myself at the time how ungrateful they were.I'm sure they do throw alot of it away. There was one vlog where they brought out some neat looking table and actually said that it had been sitting in their garage for a year before they even looked at it. Apparently, a fan had made it and sent it to them a long time ago and they didn't even bother to look at it.
First of all, as long as the stim that's being redirected is genuinely harmful/very disruptive, I honestly don't see a problem. The big thing is to not stop a stim short without finding out what's causing it - then that stim has a chance of morphing into something even more harmful/disruptive, and obviously whatever is causing your child distress continues to do so.This is something I have an issue with. When the subject of discipline is brought up, obviously I can't speak for everyone but my feeling is that most of us don't see discipline as something used to suppress who a child is or to fit them into a mold that doesn't work for the child but is more convenient to the parent. That an autistic child should be free to stim as often as they want in whatever way they want and their parents, and by extension society has to adjust around that.
To be clear - I am not saying that ND individuals need to be like NT people and to suppress their stims as much as possible. Not at all. I understand that stimming is necessary for self regulating and self-soothing. I do think certain stims need to be stopped or changed if they are harmful to the individual or those around them, or if it is disruptive to a negative degree (ie. it causes confrontations/arguments/fights w. strangers, the police need to be called etc). All of us have to learn how to live in this world, it doesn't have to be in the same exact way as everyone else but all of us have to learn there are some things we can't do.
(I'm a bit tired and ramble-y so I apologize if some of that didn't make sense. lol)
Yeah but they should be using soap and a washcloth on her nasty feet daily.Lots of kids get splinters, and lots of kids (and adults) don't wear shoes outside. As long as you aren't in a public place, I really do not get the issue with the shoe thing. I see this criticism on other YTers content too and I just don't get it. Abbie clearly has a sensory issue with shoes. Sensory issues are a real thing and forcing her to wear shoes in the comfort of her own home when she doesn't need to is silly and kind of cruel, IMO. Unless I'm in a store or something along those lines, I really try not to judge people for not forcing their children to wear shoes. Aside from sensory issues, there are other reasons to not wear them. Abnormal foot structure, missing toes/part of the foot can make shoes painful and hard to wear. Kids with upper body disabilities (ex: arthrogryposis) can also have a hard time with shoes because they make balance more difficult for them. I'm sure there are others.
These people do a lot of dumb and nasty stuff, but accidents happen to everyone, and kids get splinters sometimes.
Brandi taught Abbie to breath and pull herself together. Never saw A or P do that.First of all, as long as the stim that's being redirected is genuinely harmful/very disruptive, I honestly don't see a problem. The big thing is to not stop a stim short without finding out what's causing it - then that stim has a chance of morphing into something even more harmful/disruptive, and obviously whatever is causing your child distress continues to do so.
Now, as to discipline (what a can of worms, eh?), first we have to look at how a person is using the word. If it's to describe things like spanking, yelling, or timeouts - yeah, I'm not a fan. These things might modify behavior in the long run, but they don't teach a child anything valuable. Also, they don't reflect acceptable real world situations. If you screw up at work, your boss definitely shouldn't be smacking you, yelling at you, or making you stand in a corner (there's an image - just huddled by the photocopier doing a minute per year of your age).
If rather, you're using the word discipline to stand for teaching kids real world consequences for their actions, or methods of dealing with stressful situations/strong emotions, then absolutely it's necessary. Teaching them to self-soothe (I know, it's definitely my catch phrase) by counting to ten, or removing themselves from the situation (if you hit your coworker, you will definitely be removed from the situation), or meditating, or using a sensory item, or avoiding stressful/triggering situations to begin with (if possible) is way more workable in the real world. If they've done something destructive/unacceptable (hitting their sibling, STEALING FOOD, etc.) then try removing them from the situation and communicating why this is not okay. This could result in a tantrum (don't be afraid of tantrums!) Make sure that there's nothing in their vicinity that will hurt them and try introducing those methods of self-soothing again (obviously if it's difficult to communicate with your child this will be a much steeper learning curve). This sequence will likely happen many, many times. It's part of helping them to grow up. I know it's way easier said than done.
I couldn't stand it but I happen to have known lots of families with their kids that did that. I went barefoot as a kid but now I don't like it, even in my house I wear flip flops or footies. We do take our shoes off at the door though just to keep the floors clean. In Fl I believe it's pretty common to be barefoot, I have seen lots of people barefoot, in bathing suits in stores! It seems anything goes there.Yeah but they should be using soap and a washcloth on her nasty feet daily.
Cleaning their floors regularly would also be recommended.
Abbie isn't the only one with grocery store feet in that dysfunctional house.
They're all nasty.
IMO.
I agree.Too late for that, I have to wonder at the vitriol thrown at a poster yesterday, called diamond group- Ass came back with a smart ass answer, but he just used the initials dg, which are mine. Ass has not liked mesince early on in my watchings because I would ask him curly questions. But I have found (or so vain to believe ) that what I have been saying on greyd comments on yt and adding to things here, is that P is still evaluating, or Ass (not often seen these days) nicer side are taking on board and making changes. My biggest bugbear, still hasn’t been addressed, in that if Summer is paid respite hours, she needs to be in working mode, ie up, showered and dressed by say 0700, take over Abbie, and bathe her, get her dressed and hair done, then S can have some time off while Ab is doing school work. There is no way that A&P will be able to keep S on, and they will drop herlike a hot potato, as soon as the need is gone.
Asssa has become so arrogant people send them gifts in the hope of a thank you and an online unboxing etc. They just threw their gifts in the middle of the table without a real thank you etc. I can bet that they throw most of that stuff away except for anything thats of value to them eg. Dunkin Doughnuts vouchers etc. I bet Abbie was gifted sensory toys as well but she won’t be able to play with them. Pigzilla wants everything to match her aesthetic which doesn’t allow for sensory toys etc. They’re rotten.I'm sure they do throw alot of it away. There was one vlog where they brought out some neat looking table and actually said that it had been sitting in their garage for a year before they even looked at it. Apparently, a fan had made it and sent it to them a long time ago and they didn't even bother to look at it.
This my fellow viewers is the mating call of the wild lithping thunder beast.My phoneeeeeee
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