Such a long story but here is a condensed version. Friendship group of 4. I don’t get on with one girl who has been bought further into the group; she has very strong/controversial opinions. I’m a public sector employee and at the start of lockdown she was saying we should be sacrificed to keep her and her colleagues well paid city jobs going. I found comments like this insensitive. I have two small children who she also seemed happy to risk for her benefit; it felt like a kick in the teeth.
my best friend (also in the group) for some reason really sticks up for this girl, thinks she is misunderstood and always talking about her ‘kind heart’. I’m afraid I don’t see any of that. I think she’s a grade A tit stirrer who once at a party spoke to my husband for ages about how she has friends who after having babies said they loved their kids more than their partner. Then asked my husband if he loved the kids more than me. Fucked Up. I bite my tongue A LOT to not create any tension but there has been one big thing that I have struggled to get over with her and I think resentment has bubbled away beneath the surface for some time. She has consistently spoken Ill of an old school friend who has had fertility problems and multiple IVF rounds, miscarriages and a stillbirth. It’s a horrific situation which I hope I never understand - it’s a hardline for me not to witch about someone like this - however she has consistently done just that, despite repeated requests not to. She herself has recently miscarried fairly early..... to my best friend I made a comment along the lines of ‘this is why I never liked (insert old school friends name) being talked about - you never know when you might need comfort yourself dealing these kinds of issues) - she bleeping blew up at me, told me I’d bought drama to her house etc. I was gosmacked
It’s my best friends birthday on Friday and I now find that I haven’t been invited. I’m really upset as we had talked last week and resolved things to draw a line under, could move forward.
The other girl hasn’t been invited either and I guess I’m upset about the idea that we’re both being considered as bad as each other. 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.
We’ve been friends a long time. 17+ years. I’m gutted. Have 2 small children and don’t have very many friends and so this group are a huge part of my life. She has been a key part of so many important events in my life so yeah. I’m gutted. Now feels like things were getting back on track and it’s derailed it again.
Am I an awful person? Should I have said nothing? I feel like a mug for all the hospitality I have shown them over the years and for how much I value the friendships when they clearly don’t have the same value to others.
my best friend (also in the group) for some reason really sticks up for this girl, thinks she is misunderstood and always talking about her ‘kind heart’. I’m afraid I don’t see any of that. I think she’s a grade A tit stirrer who once at a party spoke to my husband for ages about how she has friends who after having babies said they loved their kids more than their partner. Then asked my husband if he loved the kids more than me. Fucked Up. I bite my tongue A LOT to not create any tension but there has been one big thing that I have struggled to get over with her and I think resentment has bubbled away beneath the surface for some time. She has consistently spoken Ill of an old school friend who has had fertility problems and multiple IVF rounds, miscarriages and a stillbirth. It’s a horrific situation which I hope I never understand - it’s a hardline for me not to witch about someone like this - however she has consistently done just that, despite repeated requests not to. She herself has recently miscarried fairly early..... to my best friend I made a comment along the lines of ‘this is why I never liked (insert old school friends name) being talked about - you never know when you might need comfort yourself dealing these kinds of issues) - she bleeping blew up at me, told me I’d bought drama to her house etc. I was gosmacked
It’s my best friends birthday on Friday and I now find that I haven’t been invited. I’m really upset as we had talked last week and resolved things to draw a line under, could move forward.
The other girl hasn’t been invited either and I guess I’m upset about the idea that we’re both being considered as bad as each other. 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.
We’ve been friends a long time. 17+ years. I’m gutted. Have 2 small children and don’t have very many friends and so this group are a huge part of my life. She has been a key part of so many important events in my life so yeah. I’m gutted. Now feels like things were getting back on track and it’s derailed it again.
Am I an awful person? Should I have said nothing? I feel like a mug for all the hospitality I have shown them over the years and for how much I value the friendships when they clearly don’t have the same value to others.
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Have you spoken to her about why you weren’t invited? Is it anything to do with the rule of 6? Even so, would you have ordinarily been in that 6?
