Eugenia Cooney #2

[sassmaster3000]

What is the correct thing to say to someone with an ED? Or how should you behave? I read/hear constant mixed messages, some of it I can't help but believe to be very problematic and it genuinely confuses me.

I had an ED in my teenage years and was constantly battling comments from well-meaning people about how “good” I was suddenly looking.
one thing that really helped was people commenting on my personality “you’re so funny/kind/thoughtful etc”.
I know EDs are much deeper rooted than that, but those kind of comments really helped me to realise that I am worth so much more than a silly number on a scale, and I have so much more to offer the world instead of just being a twig.
I also went to uni at the peak of my illness, and it could have gone one of two ways (one of my classmates relapsed and had to drop out), but for me it just made me realise how big the world is and frankly it doesn’t bleeping matter what my size is

 

[oshare]

I had an ED in my teenage years and was constantly battling comments from well-meaning people about how “good” I was suddenly looking.
one thing that really helped was people commenting on my personality “you’re so funny/kind/thoughtful etc”.
I know EDs are much deeper rooted than that, but those kind of comments really helped me to realise that I am worth so much more than a silly number on a scale, and I have so much more to offer the world instead of just being a twig.
I also went to uni at the peak of my illness, and it could have gone one of two ways (one of my classmates relapsed and had to drop out), but for me it just made me realise how big the world is and frankly it doesn’t bleeping matter what my size is

Yes I can relate to this!
Things that made it worse: (very) negative and insulting comments (you look like a skeleton, you are not a real woman, you don't want to get better, you don't want to do anything, you are not doing your best etc.) - everything insulting and putting me down made it sooo much worse as I was already tearing myself down and i felt insanely insecure, like a failure and a waste of space etc. it made me feel that much worse because in my eyes it confirmed my own beliefs.

One thing I will never, ever forget and I'm sure she herself doesn't even remember at all, but when I felt really poorly and didn't look good I remember my oldest aunt once telling me, in the middle of the supermarket at that!, that I was right just the way I was and that I was a good and beautiful person (by beautiful she meant on the inside, it doesn't translate well from my native language). That meant so so much to me. I hadn't heard ANY positive things about myself in months and months (no, really!) and because she is someone I respect so much that meant so much to me. I can not explain how much.

Threating someone like an actual person with respect, love, compassion and kindness is so important. What can help is tell them how good they are at a certain skill, how much you appreciate X or Y about them, how considerate or kind they are, how good they are at explaining things or how thoughtful they are. Or how you love how much they read, or take interest in something and appreciate that and help them discover and explore more of that.

Just don't comment on outer appearance!

 

[LadyLockdown]

just treat them like any other human being. Apart from that, just don’t comment on their body or looks (even if you say ‘you’re looking well’ that can be taken as ‘you’ve gained weight’ in a disordered brain’.
Other than that, treat them like you would any other human being.

Ok, but, I think that's the bit I find confusing, I understand not directly commenting on looks etc, but if a human being is sick then isn't it normal to talk about the sickness in order to try to do what you can to help? With ED's it appears that it must be avoided at all costs, which somehow seems complicit and I struggle to understand how you can try to help someone overcome it if it's a totally off-topic subject. Does that make sense?

ETA - I wrote this before I read the 2 previous comments so thank you for the responses. I don't have anyone in my life (that I know of) who has lived with disordered eating so these questions come from a genuine place.

 

[WhatABore]

Ok, but, I think that's the bit I find confusing, I understand not directly commenting on looks etc, but if a human being is sick then isn't it normal to talk about the sickness in order to try to do what you can to help? With ED's it appears that it must be avoided at all costs, which somehow seems complicit and I struggle to understand how you can try to help someone overcome it if it's a totally off-topic subject. Does that make sense?

ETA - I wrote this before I read the 2 previous comments so thank you for the responses. I don't have anyone in my life (that I know of) who has lived with disordered eating so these questions come from a genuine place.

I think the one of the main things is that they most likely are aware of it, they don't need other people pointing it out. A lot are well aware how ill they may be and speaking for myself, I know how dangerous some of the things I was doing, I knew what I was doing wasn't safe or healthy, that didn't stop me doing it though and it wouldn't matter how many people pointed it out. If anything, that would make me worse

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Live now and feeling better...

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Everyone is posting "Please go to the hospital save your life stop donating and encouraging this she’s dying "

 

[cc_2013]

I’ve just seen she’s live. I’ve not seen one of her lives for a month or two, and she looks so much worse now since then even though it’s is such a short time!
Her face is even thinner in the space of a month plus her hair is so much thinner and limper too
Scary.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

The "most sent" here was a bot. The comment didn't actually show up much in the chat.

She ended the live early.

 

[Cinders91]

As happy as I am to see her around (alive), my heart is shattered for her.
It sounds stupid to say that, I don't even know her.
How long can this continue for?
How long until she just doesn't come back and we find out from county obituaries?
How long until it could happen on live infront of a couple thousand people?.
She's so vibrant and sweet, she deserves a better, healthier life

 

[AB3]

I had an ED in my teenage years and was constantly battling comments from well-meaning people about how “good” I was suddenly looking.
one thing that really helped was people commenting on my personality “you’re so funny/kind/thoughtful etc”.
I know EDs are much deeper rooted than that, but those kind of comments really helped me to realise that I am worth so much more than a silly number on a scale, and I have so much more to offer the world instead of just being a twig.
I also went to uni at the peak of my illness, and it could have gone one of two ways (one of my classmates relapsed and had to drop out), but for me it just made me realise how big the world is and frankly it doesn’t bleeping matter what my size is

You are your mind, your body is just a meat suit you wear!

 

[Flowerpotgirl]

Disney posts again. They are old I believe

 

[Dollenganger]

I think she would be happy that it went that way. Publicly and paid. She’s been allowed to slowly die online for all to see, and not being forced to get help. I just don’t understand how this was allowed. She said so many times in the beginning she was just naturally thin and has literally disintegrated before our eyes.
I just watched that live again, and I don’t see how she could come back after it. She was retching and moaning and everyone saw

She looks like a little old lady - awful that someone who should still have most of their life ahead of them has come to this. But then, she doesn’t want to get better. Also, at a certain point your brain has been starved of nutrients to the point you can’t even think rationally any more.

The time in her life where her friends managed to get her committed to a psych ward and to put some weight on have (I think) ironically made matters worse because of how publicly it was handled afterwards.

 

[Flowerpotgirl]

She looks like a little old lady - awful that someone who should still have most of their life ahead of them has come to this. But then, she doesn’t want to get better. Also, at a certain point your brain has been starved of nutrients to the point you can’t even think rationally any more.

The time in her life where her friends managed to get her committed to a psych ward and to put some weight on have (I think) ironically made matters worse because of how publicly it was handled afterwards.

I was super hopeful when she got her other place with some friends -was it in California? She was going to be there part time and at her parents part time. And then that all fell apart and now she is worse than she ever was.

 

[MarshMallowMonster]

her TT shows a recent Disney trip with her mum.

you have to wonder about her mum, she does capitalize on E’s fame.

 

[KnickKnackPaddyWhack]

her TT shows a recent Disney trip with her mum.

you have to wonder about her mum, she does capitalize on E’s fame.

I want to know what her mother sees when she looks at her daughter? She cannot be right in the head!

 

[Flowerpotgirl]

I want to know what her mother sees when she looks at her daughter? She cannot be right in the head!

She sees $$$$$ and fame
She is so I overweight that I thought EV was trying to avoid being large due to her. But I think it was the bullying as a child that did it. And then when people started noticing how thing she was, she loved the attention. And here we are. Possibly at the end of the line now. Although we have said that for years.
I think the Disney visit was a while ago now

 

[Shinythings]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Netflix series that comes out of this horror show when she eventually passes is going to be very enlightening.

 

[oshare]

The Disney trip was from early April believe the first week, I went back a few pages, this is not a new/recent visit

 

[MarshMallowMonster]

in the TT Live she cuts short, she lapses into her real voice.

I do wonder why she puts on the high pitched voice, what it brings?

I hope she is getting the help she needs. how much longer can she exist like this?

 

[ILoveUnicorns]

I think she does the little voice and all the dress up to appear as a little girl, it’s very strange that a 30 yr old wants to look and act like this but I guess it’s how she’s built her following and gets the views so it’s a hard thing to change. Although I’m sure if she had managed to make an attempt at recovering and become more healthy looking she may have still kept her followers if they genuinely liked her and her content.