Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Doodlebug005]

Your suggestion made me laff!
Thankyou.

There are such selfish people about aren't there!
As long as they can do what they want, they don't think about the rest of us.

I hope you and your circle escape the covid.


Mine is just a head cold but even though not covid-serious, its horrible enough.

The world is full of selfish bar stards.

Being half Irish, half scottish I can confirm the only medicine for a cold is a hot whiskey (toddy) lots of cloves in the lemon slice! My father in law goes a step further, he puts lemsip in his hot whiskey...
If you don't fancy booze, i find nurofen cold &flu are decent too.

Look, when you are feeling crappy have whatever makes you feel better. Hopefully you will be on the mend soon.

Thank you, hope we escape it too, I think hubbys boss will be busy praying that we are ok, he is afraid of me

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I am having such a bad day, I hope you don't mind me talking here, the thing is I can have whatever treatment or diagnosis of the way I feel about myself but clearly I am repulsive and unworthy of love, my friends are single for 2 months and find a new guy, I’ve been single for 10 years and nothing!! I really give up on life because its never going to happen for me and I will always be unhappy I am so done. Sorry that's so morbid, I'm just so sad

You are not repulsive honey and certainly not undeserving of love and companionship - I'm sure that you have many good qualities; we all do, especially the ones that you don't see in yourself xx

Here it is again -

Desiderata
GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann © 1927
Original text

Oh, I love those lines so much - thank-you

Please believe that you are loved - even if it's just one human being to another x

Let's lighten the mood - favourite Abba song?

Not being cruel, distraction sometimes helps - my favourite is 'The Name of the Game's.

You are not repulsive honey and certainly not undeserving of love and companionship - I'm sure that you have many good qualities; we all do, especially the ones that you don't see in yourself xx


Oh, I love those lines so much - thank-you

Please believe that you are loved - even if it's just one human being to another x

Let's lighten the mood - favourite Abba song?

Not being cruel, distraction sometimes helps - my favourite is 'The Name of the Game'

You can be on the other side, with love and support; I've been there and I'm never going back x

 

[shazbev]

Well, Ive chucked all my nail strengthening products in the trash.
All have made my nails split and break worse than before I tried any.

When they grow back, I will have to put up with the few that seem bendy.
Most are usually ok, just a few grow a bit thinner than the others and bend if I let them grow too long.

Now even the usually good nails have broken.

Oh no Chita, did the Sally Hansen rehab not work ? Sorry I recommended a duff product for you...nail treatments are devilishly tricky aren't they ,?

 

[Chita]

I’ve got a problem, it involves bins, just need some advice please. Every week without fail someone is dumping one or two black bags of rubbish into my bins. They wait till the bins have been emptied (we have 1 for non recycling and 3 for recycling) the bin men come at 7am then whoever it is dumps their rubbish into my bins. I either have to take their rubbish to the tip as I need the space in my own bin or couple of times ive managed to catch the bin men and explain and they take the extra rubbish. The odd time of someone being cheeky I can let go but now it’s every week. Today I opened one of the bags because I was so enraged but it smelt of chemicals so I’ve left it. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do, it’s just a hassle every week finding black bags in my bins, having to fish them out then deal with someone else’s rubbish

I know it’s only a small thing but it’s really upsetting me

Chemical smell, as in possibly something illegal? Which could explain why they dont want whatever it is in their own bin.
Hmmm.

Where do you put the bins to be collected?
Can you see the spot from a window in your home? If so, wait for the binmen to come and watch, camera at the ready to film whoever it is who is dumping it.
Video if poss.

Is it happening to any other neighbours as well? If so maybe they can also spy out and take pics when the bin day comes around.

If you catch them in the act you know who it is and you can return their rubbish bags to them. Get some aerosol paint spray their door number on the bags.

Or just take their bags out of your bin, dump them there and wheel your empty bin home - although I think you would feel anxious about leaving them, wouldnt you?
So maybe not that.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Morning all,

Had a bad morning and for the first time ever I had a genuine panic attack. Phoned my boss who is the most amazing person and she got me through it with some breathing exercises, now I'm OK just exhausted.

She recommended essential oils particularly bergamot, has anyone had any experience of using essential oils for depression and anxiety?

Yes, I have!

Bergamot, orange, lemon, peppermint are great oils to lift depression.

If you have high quality therapeutic oils you can put a drop of the oil on your gum and will feel an instant effect.
Or you could mix them with a carrier oil (like jojoba) and put them on your wrists to sniff. Or sniff them straight from the bottle or put a drop in the palms of your hands and cup them and inhale.

For sleep and before bed time lavender and chamomile are great, I also like rosemary.

 

[Red hair]

Favourite Abba song is probably On and on and on but also love Fernando, chiquitta, knowing me knowing you, Sos, winner takes it all, Gimmie, the day before you came and The piper!!

I have been looking at getting tickets to the shows next year

I came on this thread tonight to look for a little help, I, like many of us have had a pretty crappy time of it. It has just been one thing going wrong after another, and although in the grand scale of things the issues are not that major the fact I just cannot seem to catch a break is really taking a toll. So i was just wondering if any of you had any spells or cleansing rituals to try and get me back on a more positive path or even if any of you are willing to pull a tarot card to give me some advice or insight? Any help gratefully received x

Favourite ABBA song “gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight”…

Could you try a gratitude journal? You just write 3 things that went well/made you happy each day. Can be really minor - cooked a nice dinner or read a chapter of a book you enjoyed. It just seems to calm the narrative that everything is crap.
I will start again but I found when I did it before it helped me sleep more as I had a positive mindset before bed.

 

[April89]

Feeling at a bit of a dead end today.

Had to clean the house, as it had got into a total mess. I was sat on the kitchen floor thinking about where to turn.

Constant mess. Hate my job. One of my closest friends is being strange with me, don't know how to handle it. Bank account hits disaster level every month. Bored. No energy. No idea what I even want to do, or how.

One of those days I suppose

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I have never posted in this thread before but today I really need to let it all out.
I went in to my kid’s bedroom this morning to open the windows and stood in a wet patch. He admitted he urinated on the floor because he couldn’t be bothered to walk to the bathroom. Get him to help clean it up etc and then later we are tidying up toys and I find.. two poos. Two separate poos, that are massive and have been hidden. These were done on separate days and again was because he couldn’t be bothered to go to the toilet.
I am so upset; I feel I spend my entire day cleaning and tidying up and no one else seems to help at all and this feels like the biggest insult to injury. Do I really mean so little to my family that my 6 year old feels it is acceptable to use the floor of his bedroom as a toilet?! I’m beyond words and I can’t comprehend his reasoning. He doesn’t seem to get it either.
I’m so fed up.

I have never posted in this thread before but today I really need to let it all out.
I went in to my kid’s bedroom this morning to open the windows and stood in a wet patch. He admitted he urinated on the floor because he couldn’t be bothered to walk to the bathroom. Get him to help clean it up etc and then later we are tidying up toys and I find.. two poos. Two separate poos, that are massive and have been hidden. These were done on separate days and again was because he couldn’t be bothered to go to the toilet.
I am so upset; I feel I spend my entire day cleaning and tidying up and no one else seems to help at all and this feels like the biggest insult to injury. Do I really mean so little to my family that my 6 year old feels it is acceptable to use the floor of his bedroom as a toilet?! I’m beyond words and I can’t comprehend his reasoning. He doesn’t seem to get it either.
I’m so fed up.

Hey honey, I couldn't comprehend my Asperger's son's reasoning when he did that also - nor can he. He is now a university student - there is life beyond the mess of their complexities

 

[Doodlebug005]

Almost 2 years of keeping distance from everybody and wearing masks etc so as not to catch corona virus -

A selfish relative turns up to see me without a mask and announces she has a cold - but its ok, I won't catch it because it's on her chest and is bronchitis.
I now have a caught that cold and hate evrything and everybody, particularly the person who gave me this miserable thing.
Thanks a bunch.
I am in such a bad mood.
I hate the world.

Cough, sneeze, sore throat, headache - you name it.
Its a bumper bundle of horribleness.
I have done a test and its isnt covid so I suppose that's something to be grateful for.

Oh no The selfishness ..... Unbelievable... I hope you gave them what for. I hope you feel better very soon
It seems people have forgotten to be careful. As you say , nearly 2 years in and standards have slipped, a few weeks ago I had a procedure on my foot and got a grocery delivery... The delivery driver had no mask, i asked him to put one on and he informed me "the virus is only in the television" i was grateful to get the delivery but not keen on this guy in my house unmasked.
Then this week hubbys boss ( recently single and mingling ) announced he has covid. Hubby is not long over having a collapsed lung and another lad at work has a heavily pregnant wife, so it is a waiting game, has he spread it to them and beyond.
What will cheer you up our @Chita , draw an effigy of the infected prat and stamp on it, wipe your bum with it and burn it that is what i will be doing if hubbys boss has brought misery to our door!!
Or you could just go round and give them a good kicking

 

[Chita]

Oh no The selfishness ..... Unbelievable... I hope you gave them what for. I hope you feel better very soon
It seems people have forgotten to be careful. As you say , nearly 2 years in and standards have slipped, a few weeks ago I had a procedure on my foot and got a grocery delivery... The delivery driver had no mask, i asked him to put one on and he informed me "the virus is only in the television" i was grateful to get the delivery but not keen on this guy in my house unmasked.
Then this week hubbys boss ( recently single and mingling ) announced he has covid. Hubby is not long over having a collapsed lung and another lad at work has a heavily pregnant wife, so it is a waiting game, has he spread it to them and beyond.
What will cheer you up our @Chita , draw an effigy of the infected prat and stamp on it, wipe your bum with it and burn it that is what i will be doing if hubbys boss has brought misery to our door!!
Or you could just go round and give them a good kicking

Your suggestion made me laff!
Thankyou.

There are such selfish people about aren't there!
As long as they can do what they want, they don't think about the rest of us.

I hope you and your circle escape the covid.


Mine is just a head cold but even though not covid-serious, its horrible enough.

The world is full of selfish bar stards.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I'm having issues with my accommodation. I posted about it, before but I was asked to change studio flats and floors in the same building.

The accommodation manager woman wanted me to come down yesterday, did,she was busy so I came back up. She sent me another email at night - I went down this morning.

They want me to move out of the building COMPLETELY by the 30th of september which IS the first that I'm hearing about it. I said it wouldn't be possible for me to move out by then. Another woman came in and started shouting at me that there were no exceptions. That I had to leave and be out by 12pm at the latest. I told her I was supposed to have my final university exam in two weeks during all of this .She said since I had already moved once it would be easy for me. When I asked if she could help me find a hotel she said I could do that myself.

I came back to my room and cried a whole lot.

I emailed the student office and asked for an extension to delay my final exam to the following year which they granted but it's still going to cost me money as i'm still a student but it's a reduced rate and not the whole tuition fee.

I feel like a complete and utter **** up.

(NOT in the UK).

 

[Sheabutter]

This is going to be a very long meta moan, but I needed somewhere to vent.

There’s a thread about popular threads (I did say this would be meta) and loads of people kept mentioning the “same sex flirting” thread. Curiosity won me over so I searched for it. First two pages were kinda what you’d expect from the title and I wasn't sure why it was being recommended as a must-read….skipped to page 10 and oh. Suspicions that a popular(?) tattler wasn’t who they said they were. Or they were posting under a different name with a different backstory. So I went back and started again and read the whole thread (and there’s a second thread!). And although no confirmation from the accused, I think it’s been agreed that the poster/s was a catfish. I’ll refer to them as X - which covers all their usernames.

And now going back a bit. I’ve been a lurker for a while and became active at the beginning of lockdown. Post a bit on the influencer etc pages but I don’t actually follow that many and none of the really big threads. Discovered the off topic threads and enjoyed posting. I’m a loner and an oversharer.

Early on I bumped into X - seemingly another newish tattler and also an oversharer. At first I found this a good thing as it didn’t make my long block of texts look so weird! And they seemed to be online a lot like me so there were a few back and forth quote replies. But then I started to notice that they posted constantly and that the posts were a bit….much? Over the top, and often quite sexual in nature. I started to feel uncomfortable and slowly retreated from the places I was active in (if they were there too, and they were everywhere). They were just super loud even via the screen.

I then started posting on a food and drink thread, which I thought was about food and drink but then found out it was a side thread to the jack monroe thread. But these people were lovely and welcoming, and I was enjoying myself. I’m a grown adult and I feel a bit embarrassed to say it, but it was a safe and happy space for me, like I had low maintenance friends to chat to.

And then one day X turns up too. As I said, these people are welcoming and X quickly became part of the furniture and then their posts became too much (for me) again. And so I stopped reading or posting.

I know I’m an absolute child but anyways.

By this point I’d manage to run out of any safe (X free) spaces I could properly chit chat, and was stuck with leaving a few sarky comments about Lily Pebbles and co.

I have held a grudge against X for probably a year, or longer. I found this person annoying, but I was more angry at myself for not being able to join in like everyone else. Even in a virtual room, I managed to find a corner and stick myself in it. Pathetic.

And then I read this same sex flirting thread and realised I let someone who doesn’t even really exist steal my joy. The thread was funny. The memes were genius. But I’m typing this now and I feel so upset.

I enjoy being alone and I find it hard to be around people in real life, but the internet gives me social interaction in a way I can manage. And for the short time I was able to talk to people about little daily things, I felt “normal”.

God only knows what X’s intentions were.
Purely perverted? Bored? Maybe lonely like me?

I don’t know how to end this post. Do I feel better after venting? I think so. Still majorly embarrassed but I’ve already closed myself off so not like I could be worse off!

The whole thing is weird. I couldn’t be bothered to get through the whole same sex thread and what I read seemed… dare I say it, normal? Maybe I had to be there or keep on reading. That stinks that you had that experience. I’m on team block.

 

[Thegreenbush96]

I find that you can't force friendship, so maybe an actual friendship group isn't what you really need. You need to find some Threads with people whose posts you enjoy reading and then start joining in.
The online friendship will grow from that.

Joining in is the key, I think.
Sorry you feel no-one accepts you and that you feel people turn on you.
Can you tell us a bit more?
See if we can help?




Well, writing it all down a is a good start and no need to feel daft.
You've let off a bit of steam.

Clearly you have gradually allowed yourself to be taken advantage of.

And because it's happened over time, it's hard to put a stop to it.

You need a break. Some respite - and you said your holiday ended up being exactly what you needed a break from.

So that didnt' help.

Ideally what you've written in your post needs relaying to your family. They have become so used to things as they are that they aren't thinking of how it affects you.
So you need to tell them before you have a complete breakdown.
It will take courage but it doesnt have to be an angry confrontation situation.


Maybe you'll feel better if you get your place decorated - that will give you the chance to tidy it up and then once its painted you will maybe feel its less like a bomb site as you said you felt it was.
Im sure it isnt.

So, could you enlist the grandkids to help you tidy everything up and enlist your kids to do the decorating for you or help you pay for a professional to come and do it?
Get it done now before dark nights and winter weather sets in?

Its a start.

And I know you said you are disabled, but it sounds like you can get about a bit, so could you join some clubs or do something out of the house a few days a week so that you are not so readily available to babysit/childmind?
Make yourself busy with new things so you can say, "no. I am busy doing so and so" when you are asked to childmind.

Basically you need to tell your children what you wrote in the post and make them see you need to have your own life and that they are taking you for granted.
They need to help you for a change.

Have you a friend you could go on an actual holiday with?
Get away completely from the kids for a bit?
You need to find a way to let them get used to you not being there all the time.

I don’t know what threads are friendly anymore. I thought they would be a general chat topic but there is not and I am not allowed to set one up

 

[Chita]

Morning everyone. Need a favour, a while ago someone posted a beautiful poem about how we should live our lives, I meant to save it but didn’t and today I’m upset about something and would love to read it. Can anyone remember the name of the poem? Sorry this is such a vague request I have a terrible memory

Was it the one @50sGirl posted a few pages back?
Will have a look for it.

View attachment 736231

Is it this one @Wilbraham ?

 

[Tattyfilarious]

Life is a bitch sometimes - just believe in yourself. Lxx

I just don't want anyone to have a life without love

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Please read the last couple of pages, on the Support for anyone that needs to vent thread.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I understand those "still" days perfectly.
They arent the same as eeyore days because you just sit and dont necessarily feel depressed etc

If you want a chat about anything at all, just say.
Doesnt have to be about how you feel or anything like that.
We can just talk about "stuff."


Ive been binge watching "the Killing."
I didnt see it when it was first on telly so Im late to the party but I like to binge watch stuff like this because it helps time pass and having to concentrate because its subtitled really helps to distract my mind.

I've been watching 'Ghosts' - maybe not a good place to start . I would watch the big bang theory everyday if I could!

Hi Everyone. This thread was such a good idea. Even when I'm down I can see the positivity and support offered and it lifts my spirit.
I've had a couple of bad days mentally. The sort of days when all you can do is sit and do nothing. I have a code with my family. When they ask if I'm ok, I say 'I will be'. That lets them know that I'm not okay at all but I don't have to say anything negative in reply. Does that make sense? It works for us. They leave me in peace to work through the stuff, make sure I have what I need and never, ever, get angry or impatient with me. If they think I'm wallowing, they take steps to pull me out of it but very gently.
I'm much better today. I don't know about anyone else but I look at my life as going in cycles. The 'down days' are part of the cycle and they do pass. Just as the mania is part of the cycle. And that passes as well. I aim for days that are almost mediocre. The 'nothing days' when my mood isn't depressed or manic, just still.
@Tattyfilarious I'm totally agoraphobic. In the past five years I've left the house less than ten times. And only for really important stuff like a funeral and going the the doctors. I just don't want to go out. I can't stand noise or crowds or brightness. I can't even speak on a phone. I contact other people through text or email. The pandemic didn't really make any difference to my life at all. I know that I should make an effort to deal with agoraphobia and I even know how to do it. I've successfully got over it in the past. At the moment I just can't see the point.
Love your dog, so sorry he's no longer with us. Keep the memories bright and the love in your heart.
Everyone else, sorry I can't answer individually, it's a bit beyond me at the moment. But sending you all love and support and lots and lots of hugs. Stay strong!

Hey honey by comparison to you think that I'm just probably anti-social, but I do understand the bit about noise and crowds - I avoid them as much as I can; but when I have to be somewhere through love and obligation (as much as it terrifies me) I usually have a good time - it's the anticipation that shreds my nerves.
Baby steps - a small walk near your house?
Lots of love to you xxx

No you’re not alone anymore you have us and I have loads of toy bears here in my little room sending you hugs and waiting to listen to you chit chat away

Boo - are you for real? Nobody needs toy bears here

No you’re not alone anymore you have us and I have loads of toy bears here in my little room sending you hugs and waiting to listen to you chit chat away

Chit chat

I've been watching 'Ghosts' - maybe not a good place to start . I would watch the big bang theory everyday if I could!


Hey honey by comparison to you think that I'm just probably anti-social, but I do understand the bit about noise and crowds - I avoid them as much as I can; but when I have to be somewhere through love and obligation (as much as it terrifies me) I usually have a good time - it's the anticipation that shreds my nerves.
Baby steps - a small walk near your house?
Lots of love to you xxx


Boo - are you for real? Nobody needs toy bears here


Chit chat

You remind me of

Who's the investigator?

Don't like, come on Tattlers

What the f**k!
Be careful what you post

 

[April89]

Do you have anyone you can talk to, your family or another friend?
In the meantime, baby-steps regarding the 'mess' in your house; your priority right now is you - take a shower, listen to your favourite music, watch a film that you love. Take care honey xxx

And I know that it isn't always quite as simple as it sounds x

Just wondering which ambitions any of us had in life? I wanted to be a vet (rural - cows, sheep etc.), but I was rubbish at Chemistry; my Dad (despite his expertise) didn't leave that particular legacy with me!

Thank you so much for your kind reply

Good advice about baby steps!

Vet is a very popular dream. I think I wanted to work in an office, I used to play 'work' - a lot of paper shuffling and random stapling

Cleaning house can seem like a huge mountain to climb when you feel like you do.
But, once its done and everywhere is tidy and smelling clean and fresh it does lift the spirits.
It's just fighting that unable-to-shift-yourself-and-do-something feeling that is SO hard isn't it?
Hope you got it all done and then sank into clean smelling bed linen and drifted off to sleep.
Hope you feel better today and are ready to think about changing jobs.
There's more than one way to make a living and you do not have to stick at a job you hate.

Take a deep breath and make a list of what you'd like to do and then look around for vacancies in those sectors.

You can do it.
XxX

Thank you

Good advice about changing jobs, I need to push myself to do that.

 

[Wilbraham]

Morning everyone. Need a favour, a while ago someone posted a beautiful poem about how we should live our lives, I meant to save it but didn’t and today I’m upset about something and would love to read it. Can anyone remember the name of the poem? Sorry this is such a vague request I have a terrible memory

 

[April89]

If you read back through this thread you will see I posted that I had sessions with a pshychologist some years ago. It was to address my reactive depression to a life changing accident.
However, the therapist got to the bottom of my depression and yes. It was mainly a reaction to what happened to me but a huge part of what was making me depressed was the job I'd been working in and would have to go back to once I was fully recovered.

As you probably know those psychologists don't tell you what to do, they wheedle out of you what's wrong and they cleverly get you to work it out for yourself and fix the problem.

He gave me much to help but the thing that probably made me sort my head out was the simple words, "there's more than one way to make a living."

I went away and thought long and hard about that.
I eventually took a massive deep breath and found the strength to leave that job behind.

Then once that was behind me, my recovery came on in leaps and bounds.


Simple words but when acted upon they can really re-invent you.

Good luck
Xxx

I appreciate this

I feel that the job is a big part of it to be honest. Happy to hear your story, gives me a bit of hope