Erling Haaland

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I’m closer to his father Alf’s age. Haha. I followed him on Insta.

Also I love his interviews. They make me so happy lol. The one with John. John was dying inside.

 
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I’m closer to his father Alf’s age. Haha. I followed him on Insta.

Also I love his interviews. They make me so happy lol. The one with John. John was dying inside.

“Now back to work.” Haaland Senior doesn’t duck around, does he? 🤣 I swear he slapped some boots on Junior about 10 seconds after Junior punched his way through the womb and then took him straight to the pitch. (For which we thank him.)
 
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My BF was speaking to the postman about the football cause he talks to everyone and they’re chatty. Postman goes “Kept the missus quiet. She likes Grealish. All the women love him”. My BF went “Not mine. My missus fancies Haaland” and the postman laughed at me 😭.

Wasn’t expecting to be violated when I was getting my parcel but OK
 
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My BF was speaking to the postman about the football cause he talks to everyone and they’re chatty. Postman goes “Kept the missus quiet. She likes Grealish. All the women love him”. My BF went “Not mine. My missus fancies Haaland” and the postman laughed at me 😭.

Wasn’t expecting to be violated when I was getting my parcel but OK
He is just jealous of his manly man...ness 🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
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I think Erling is more than capable of pounding you into the mattress so deep and mercilessly. But unlike other footballers he'd have a nice chat about it first, make sure there was a safe word, and a non-verbal signal for when choking on his dick. And only then would be obliterate you.

I think his standard state would actually be good hard, but gentle lover. Really sweet and caring because he seems like such a good guy, good hearted, and not at all awful.

I'm just gonna out him on a pedestal. Only a little one though, he doesn't need to be any bigger. 😆😆
 
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I think Erling is more than capable of pounding you into the mattress so deep and mercilessly. But unlike other footballers he'd have a nice chat about it first, make sure there was a safe word, and a non-verbal signal for when choking on his dick. And only then would be obliterate you.

I think his standard state would actually be good hard, but gentle lover. Really sweet and caring because he seems like such a good guy, good hearted, and not at all awful.

I'm just gonna out him on a pedestal. Only a little one though, he doesn't need to be any bigger. 😆😆
This is both hot and adorable. And I agree - he’d be a conscientious lover.
 
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I think Erling is more than capable of pounding you into the mattress so deep and mercilessly. But unlike other footballers he'd have a nice chat about it first, make sure there was a safe word, and a non-verbal signal for when choking on his dick. And only then would be obliterate you.

I think his standard state would actually be good hard, but gentle lover. Really sweet and caring because he seems like such a good guy, good hearted, and not at all awful.

I'm just gonna out him on a pedestal. Only a little one though, he doesn't need to be any bigger. 😆😆
Ohh I so agree. Soft dom vibes 🥵… and he’d look after you afterwards. 🥰

I mean I’m already teeny tiny next to him 😉 if you put him on a pedestal I’d probably end up crotch height sooo😘
 
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Ohh I so agree. Soft dom vibes 🥵… and he’d look after you afterwards. 🥰

I mean I’m already teeny tiny next to him 😉 if you put him on a pedestal I’d probably end up crotch height sooo😘
Can't beat a soft Dom who knows the importance of aftercare.
 
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He seems so fun and funny. And he’s built like a machine. So it would be an absolute amazing time. Wow I’m seeing him in a way diff light. Haha. When he was at dortmund I kept saying he’s so interesting looking to my friend. I said he’s kind of an alien.

Erling abduct me into your ufo bc the dating apps are sad for me 😂. You’re perfect actually
 
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He really grew into his looks recently. I still would if he looked like this...



but my preference is his current look
 
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He really grew into his looks recently. I still would if he looked like this...



but my preference is his current look
Yes, he’s matured very quickly, hasn’t he? He looks so boyish and husky in that video and it wasn’t even that long ago. As @futbolista said, he’s grown into a machine. A lean, strong machine.
 
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Yes, very quickly. It happened over a year. This video was filmed at their preseason training in 2021 and he looks completely grown up

 
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He really grew into his looks recently. I still would if he looked like this...



but my preference is his current look
The way he’s saying it’s tit cause he lost 😭😭🤣🤣

His hands tho... i prefer the longer hair on him but I still would as well…

Yes, very quickly. It happened over a year. This video was filmed at their preseason training in 2021 and he looks completely grown up

He went from awkwardly cute to handsome. I love his hair in this one 🥵
 
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The way he’s saying it’s tit cause he lost 😭😭🤣🤣

His hands tho... i prefer the longer hair on him but I still would as well…


He went from awkwardly cute to handsome. I love his hair in this one 🥵
What a pianist he’d have made with those long fingers. He looks like a giant baby chick in these Dortmund vids. 🤣 It’s really something how he had such a rapid glow up.
 
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The way he’s saying it’s tit cause he lost 😭😭🤣🤣

His hands tho... i prefer the longer hair on him but I still would as well…


He went from awkwardly cute to handsome. I love his hair in this one 🥵
I lost it when he started demanding that Delaney let him win... I really thought that crocodile toy was going into the fire as well
 
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I lost it when he started demanding that Delaney let him win... I really thought that crocodile toy was going into the fire as well
Crying laughing at that 😭. He’s so competitive, it’s hilarious

What a pianist he’d have made with those long fingers. He looks like a giant baby chick in these Dortmund vids. 🤣 It’s really something how he had such a rapid glow up.
Yesss with those lovely big hands 🥵. I’d give him something to finger 😇.
 
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