Erling Haaland

[Honeybeetea]

I’ve found my people I’ve not admitted it to anyone so this feels a bit like an AA meeting.

I don’t know what it is about him, but I definitely bleeping would.

 

[Just Drive]

Yeah like he’s not my usual type at all- I normally like tanned, brunettes with stubble and dark eyes… like only one of my exes is fair haired and blue eyed.

But his positive vibe + great sense of humour + fun personality + being 6’4” + banging body + sexy voice makes him attractive. There’s a few celebs out there that aren’t conventionally hot but i fancy cause they have a good vibe

Exactly this. For me, he’s appealing rather than hot (although the body is amazing).

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I’ve found my people I’ve not admitted it to anyone so this feels a bit like an AA meeting.

I don’t know what it is about him, but I definitely bleeping would.

There is something about him isn’t there. I’d love him to throw me around a bit and have his way

 

[wordzalad]

Honestly I’d happily just let him rag doll me about the bedroom, or the bathroom or the changing room or wherever.

 

[Rita.]

My new fantasy involves me visiting Haaland on his farm and I’m afraid that’s all I can share with you right now. E i e i o.

 

[StephenTJackson]

My new fantasy involves me visiting Haaland on his farm and I’m afraid that’s all I can share with you right now. E i e i o.

I'm gonna go meet him in the hay barn.

Hay rash would be worth it.

 

[wordzalad]

I love the idea of angry sex . Like I was livid he scored against us but I still would.

I say that like I wouldn’t be sulking, we lost to my boyfriends team and I was in a mood for three days cause he kept gloating .

 

[Honeybeetea]

Are we all excited for a glimpse of the big Norwegian tomorrow?

I’m off to the Etihad to I’ll have to hide my feelings towards Erling from my boyfriend

 

[wordzalad]

Yes . Im a Wolves fan so I’m not that fussed about the score… wouldnt mind him and McTominay having a scrap though . They’re both hot... I think it’ll be an exciting game.

Oh no, I bet that’ll be hard to conceal fancying him . My BF knows and mugs me off... .

 

[Just Drive]

Are we all excited for a glimpse of the big Norwegian tomorrow?

I’m off to the Etihad to I’ll have to hide my feelings towards Erling from my boyfriend

So, I suppose that means you can’t hold a sign asking for Haaland’s shirt?

 

[wordzalad]

There’s a hot video on tumblr and I’ve tried screen recording and posting the link and it won’t let me so I’m just going to link you all and hope it’s allowed

https://at.tumblr.com/haalandsstuff/dont-ask-me-the-colour-of-anything/njk3b9cvyww5

 

[CheekyVimto99]

Triple captained this beauty thank you my Nordic meat shield

 

[Just Drive]

The man is bleeping phenomenal. He is so skilled it’s actually insane. What a match.

The man is unstoppable!

 

[wordzalad]

The way he slid into the celebration after scoring the third one was so satisfying. I dunno why I liked that so much . I wonder if he’ll break the record for hat tricks this season.

Man United fans you can have your hate sex fantasies

 

[CheekyVimto99]

Thanks for the 60 points Erling

 

[Just Drive]

In the post-match press conference, the man said “yeah, not bad.”

He’s still not satisfied. No wonder he fits in so well with Pep and the squad!

 

[wordzalad]

I love him. He’s such an cute little weirdo in interviews

 

[Popupchick]

So I'm gonna be out for about a week because I'm annoyed

I'm however gonna send him a congratulations picture because he's a hole but a bloody good looking hole

 

[wordzalad]

If he looked at me like this, I’d have my clothes off within a second

 

[olivia321]

Lots of love and kisses to the Haaland lovers for your contribution to the hat trick today