- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Personally think media and RTE are unable to comment because of legal ramifications , they are trying to protecting themselves legally with silence not him since I’m assuming there’s no live Garda investigation as of yet . The fact there’s been no comment at all by former colleagues and other celebs etc. speaks volumes, can’t remember this ever happening before so whatever the reasons for leaving we know it’s serious (and look we all know the reasons)
Youre talking about a super injuction which is quite popular in the UK. This only applies to actual publications such as newspapers etc there is no way social media can be policed as ryan giggs found out. Not to mention instagram who are a massive global company wouldnt comply anyway. As if Mark Zuckerburg and co would deliberately censor mentions of some random Irish tv presenter cos his random irish solicitor threatened legal action. Zuckerburg etc wouldnt care.
Papers are just afraid to publish anything that will get them sued, and the usual vocal metoo celebs are afraid theyll lose their jobs. Only brave until it affects them
I used to have big boobs, and was forever getting comments and unwanted attention from men. I hate being noticed, and used to go round with baggy tops on. I used to have to avoid one particular fella at work who always commented on me. So one day, I had enough and told him to shut up or I would report him to hr. It shut him up.
But I ended up having a breast reduction because I hated them so much. Now I'm covered in scars, and I miss them. They suited my frame. But I put myself through a major operation because of pricks who think they have a right to comment on my body.
Good for you calling him out on his gross behaviour! It's not easy to do that, especially in a work environment. I think we are conditioned to "not rock the boat" so we tend to stay quiet and just get on with things. I worked in a bar for a couple of years when I was going through college and the tit I had to put up with was unbelievable. My breaking point was when a punter grabbed my ass and I lost it, gave him a piece of my mind and told him if he so much as breathed in my direction again I'd report him to the guards for sexual assault. I got in trouble with my (male) boss for "causing a scene" arguing with a customer. Needless to say, I found myself another job and quit that place as soon as I could. The offending customer apologised on the spot and again the following day when he was sober. He knew I would be working my usual shift and came to apologise again. I never had any trouble from him again the few times I saw him before I left that job so I hope he learned a valuable lesson and doesn't behave like that anymore.
I'm sorry to hear you regret your decision to have surgery
That's a tough situation to be in. All I can say is please know that you are more than the sum and the sizes of your body parts and I hope you can find a way to accept and love your body now. You deserve to xHonestly yeah I am. I totally agree that the onus still seems to be on women not to "provoke or look for it" but there's a lot of decent men out there that wouldn't dream of taking advantage or forcing themselves on anyone. I've never used tinder or sites like that so I can't comment on what goes on in dm's. For me sexual assault is more than being cat called or getting inappropriate comments online, I can understand how it would be a trigger for a sexual assault victim though. If inappropriate comments are considered SA then yeah we've all experienced that. Do I put it in the same bracket as rape? Personally no. But I've witnessed some women doing the exact same to men on nights out. Dirty comments, practically throwing themselves at guys, groping etc. I think if someone is just rotten & has no respect then gender doesn't matter. Its just a hell of a lot higher with men. Its plain wrong no matter who it is though.I so hope That's why there is silence in the media about it so his victim/s have some hope of getting justice.
Are you really shocked though? Sadly, I'm not at all shocked to see so many stories of experiences from so many. As I said in an earlier post here I don't know any woman who hasn't experienced sexual harassment or assault in some way. From "casual" day to day catcalling, inappropriate comments, aggressive chatting up from men, online stalking/harassment, groping to violent sexual assault and rape. Men are never not at it and society let's them. Boys will be boys and the onus is on women to protect ourselves and not drink too much or go anywhere alone at night or not wear short bleeping skirtsit's such bullshit and I don't see much change. The #metoo movement has certainly helped people come forward and tell their stories but men are still at it. Always.
The following thing on insta seems to be a bit off. What one person sees doesnt show up for others. Its been discussed on lots of other theads and the only conclusion is that its unreliable at best!
There absolutely are lots of decent men out there. I know many of them! I don't put rape in the same category as cat calling and comments (sexual harrassment might be a better description) not for a second but I suppose for me I consider it all part of the culture that seems to allow men to behave in this manner continually and the women gets blamed. I feel it's a slippery slope from cat calling and leering and unwanted comments and attention to full on sex attacks and rapes. It just worries me I suppose is what I'm getting at.
But yea, I totally take your point that women behave in a similar manner to men sometimes and it is equally unacceptable and disgusting.
It's just all so sad really
I watched her documentary on the Mary Boyle disappearance and It's clear who GO'D believes is responsible. However, there is zero chance of a successful prosecution unless a body is found and the person or person(s) responsible decide to confess.
In other words It's very much circumstantial evidence at best.
It derails the conversation when we say things like not all men, or it happens to men too. We know that. However statistically women are at a much much higher risk and it's much harder for us to make things change, look at our government, our judges, our lawmakers. They're men. Men wrote the laws and men enforce them or more often than not they don't, and so men as a group benefit the most from this broken system. The current system was written for men by men so it's important not to queiten the voices of the women battling for a fairer system by including men in the problem we face. Because it just isn't the same fight. Women have a massive disadvantage. Physically, statistically and legally.
While I agree there are levels of sexual violence each one plays a part in creating rape culture as a whole. I have been catcalled, had my boobs commented on in work from as young as 15 right up until my 30's, been groped more times than I can count and I've been raped. Obviously some of my experiences as worse than others but every one of those incidences contributes to a wider problem. If we want our kids to live in a safer world we need to have zero tolerance.
Attachments
I stand with you & I believe you.
Apart from my CSA, I was subjected to being flashed twice by 2 different men.
1 an uncle and the other was a bestfriends Father.
Those 2 places were my safe places when I was growing up and they took those away from me as I couldn’t visit them anymore as I was so absolutely disgusted & violated.
With my uncle I was sent up by my aunt to get an iron from their bedroom, he was in the room so I knocked and asked if he could give it to me, he said to come in and get it so I edged the door and I could see he was undressed and I said oh no I’ll wait. He then called me in and said it was fine, he was completely naked holding the iron at his crotch
The second one I was leaving my friends house to go home, I forgot my jacket in her bathroom (I think we were bathing her dog and I left it in there) so I went and knocked on the door, her Dad was having a shave and said “oh come on in (insert name)” so he knew it was me. He was completely naked in the bathroom.
I have one more experience which I can’t disclose fully as it will “out” me but it involves someone close to me having a bf at least 8 years older than me when I was 15 & what I understand now as being groomed via text. He kept on trying to get me to meet him “just for a kiss”. I never did.
I feel as sick in my stomach right now as I did all those years ago.
Thank you to everyone that has shared stories and given others the courage to speak out. I have never written or spoken about the above to anyone before
So thank you for creating a safe space on this thread
I have also been a victim of sexual assault. It happened over twenty years ago and up
Until recently I have blamed myself for being drunk and allowing myself to be in that situation. It’s only been in the last few months that I have come to terms with how it impacted my life and how but so many walls and behaviors around myself to protect me. Thankfully with the help of an amazing therapist I have put a lot of those issues behind me. I would didn’t speak up 20 years ago, as I felt it was my fault because I’d had too much to drink, if I hadn’t then it wouldn’t of happened. This is partly true it may not have happened to me but it may have happened to someone else. I often think at my lowest points did my silence mean another woman was subjected to this man also. The guilt I have felt for so long paralysed me for 20 years. Thankfully I am well on the way to peace now
Until recently I have blamed myself for being drunk and allowing myself to be in that situation. It’s only been in the last few months that I have come to terms with how it impacted my life and how but so many walls and behaviors around myself to protect me. Thankfully with the help of an amazing therapist I have put a lot of those issues behind me. I would didn’t speak up 20 years ago, as I felt it was my fault because I’d had too much to drink, if I hadn’t then it wouldn’t of happened. This is partly true it may not have happened to me but it may have happened to someone else. I often think at my lowest points did my silence mean another woman was subjected to this man also. The guilt I have felt for so long paralysed me for 20 years. Thankfully I am well on the way to peace now
Excellent post
Cat calling etc is not the same as rape but its a huge indicator of that mans level of respect for women. I think if a man thinks its ok to do that there are other things that he would be ok with doing too.
You have to type the whole name when they are a private page to see whether they are following! She still is.
Not always, I typed in aoife, clicked in to a few of the varying aoifes and a few of them were private, because I did think of that.
Think insta is just glitchy
So is it the desire of RTE to act like Eoghan Mc Dermott never even existed now? Why do I feel like he’s just going to disappear into thin air and never have to answer to any of this, and nobody will ever mention him again?
Sure what do you want them to do?
Well I’m not expecting them to come out and address the accusations but it’s like he never even existed. Doireann hasn’t even mentioned his name on the show, it’s all a bit of a farce really! He is going to get away with it because nobody is even acting like he ever existed. It’s strange
- Status