Previously on Emma Drew (please feel free to add anything I've missed):
1) she started a "mentorship" program which is a FB group and costs £25pm but a few blog hosts offer the same for free
2) she did a photoshoot with Poopy
3) Poopy continues to live up to her name, making me wonder how much figurative AND literal tit Emma has knocking around her house
4) Emma battled her nose pores
5) Nose pores won
6) If you were concerned with the nose, you should see the nails
6) We discovered she owns/has owned at least FOUR of the famous gunt-munching chili playsuits (in 4 different sizes, all too small)
7) She smells like musty balls. And blames it on the Wild deo
8) Freetrade sent her some donuts, obviously concerned that they hadn't seen Wisp for a while
9) She's keeping a list of things she didn't buy to justify the stuff that she is buying. By that logic, I saved a few million today by not buying a nice house I saw on Right Move
10) She enjoys going to the gym to pick up the gym owner so they can go shopping and out for food
11) She discovered she can put ghee on her popcorn to get that buttery goodness, completely forgetting the 10k she spent on WLS
12) Emma would like to start a podcast. Completely forgetting the YouTube channel that she's abandoned. I can't imagine spending time listening to her mispronounce Le Creuset and lecture us on BLM with her faux posh Gen Zee lingo
13) A troll e-mailed (?!) to tell her to kill herself, which is terrible. They should have a burner Instagram for that
14) She let a student hairdresser dye her hair ginger but leave her roots dirty blonde
15) Tony does a great Mrs Doubtfire impression. He now looks like Fred West doing a Boris Johnson impression
16) Emma cancelled her cruise because she couldn't get off the boat by herself and that meant she couldn't see her bestie in Glasgow. Her bestie is a deep fried Mars bar
17) She's definitely given up on the weight loss as she's listed her Cath Kidson Bambi dress and also a rose gold Kate Spade number that I suspect Tony has tried on
18) She was pinged and had to self-isolate. Luckily she had a round Kate Spade bag with a handprint on it that she named Wilson and who provided emotional support to her during that difficult time
19) On the last day of isolation, she wanted to watch Hamilton. She sat down to watch Hamilton and she loved it so much she did everything else she possibly could to not watch it while it was on, including looking at flights to New York to see it on Broadway
20) Someone messaged her to raise questions about the fairness of her daily draw because the same people seem to win it a lot, considering there are 2000 participants. She then did a poll and blocked the people who disagreed with her
21) She started playing The Sims again and delighted us all with Dave Furry who is the most relatable of the Drew household to date
22) She's thinking of getting a Disney tattoo because of course she is. (Don't come for me, Small Potato. Love the new pic btw)
23) She's listing tatty vests on Vinted for £1 to feel a sense of achievement
And finally, the best part of the last thread:
Emma's dad is in a care home now and looks a hundred times better than he did when he was living alone or with her. I'm glad he's getting the care he needs.
I can’t believe I got the title this time, I thought someone else would. Has anyone seen her reel about Le Creuset? I almost had a stroke. And then another stroke when she pronounced the T in pestle.
